Oh, the off-color joke of October 30th during the Thursday morning meeting, oh, how it did not go well

When I first started attending the meetings, I would start off with a joke, trying to be humorous, and that seemed to entertain people, and me being me, I continued.

This morning, during the meeting, I commented on the amount of Halloween candy we have at the desk and what will become of it afterwards. I made a joke that renting a van and going to schoolyards to entice children to come into the van with my candy.

I did not take into consideration that perhaps some of these people who were hearing this joke were molested at some point by a man and a man with candy or at least knew somebody who was molested by a man in the van with candy.

It seems like an outrageous joke, and yet I am compelled to apologize for it somehow.
The atmosphere in the office mirrors the weather outside. Grey, damp, cold, uncomfortable. And that seems to be the forecast for the next week or so.

Lately, each time I come into contact with Yancy, the more I dislike him. Too much contact yesterday and fleeting contact today, and he is scheduled to come to my desk next Wednesday with the guy who was hired after me to spend the day at my desk for some reason. I can’t help it feel my time might be running out. Perhaps November is not a good month for me, I never said it was.

I’ve got to keep my mind focused, keep my head down, and not say anything out of context or anything that could be taken out of context, actually. Yes, I need this job, and yes, I will do anything I can to keep this job.

The first instinct I had this morning was once again to stay home, and perhaps I should have, but the guy that they hired after me, who seems to carry all the favor in that office, called in sick today. That’s all right, I suppose.

No idea where I stand, not that I ever had any idea where I stood. It’s been raining nonstop today, and earlier it was coming down in sheets. I contacted Bill since he was home, and one time, a few years ago, it started leaking into the closet. I did not check where Bill was, and it turned out he was moving a van.

He reassured me that the windows were closed, which made sense since it’s been raining all day long and there’d be no reason to open the windows. I had to explain that I was worried about the closet leaking. Is no news good news? I don’t know.

I do know that I’m depressed, despondent, worried, anxious, and the weather is not helping this at all. It’s been slow and quiet where I am at today, and I guess it will be like that tomorrow with even fewer people. I’m just not as happy as I used to be in this position.