I used to call Gene Holder, DNA Cup. It was an attempt at Wit. Whether or not it’s received as such, I couldn’t say. He just popped into my mind as I was urinating in the men’s room. There was a mutual friend of ours who suggested that Mr DNA Cup was homophobic.

I mentioned that to another mutual friend who told DNA cup and he called me up telling me that he is not homophobic, in fact, he has homosexual friends. It was so disappointing to have that, that I have difficulty listening to his band these days.

I do like their records, but live, I found them to be quite boring. The first time I attempted to see them was at the Peppermint Lounge with my brother Frank. I had smoked too much sensemilla and had a killer headache, so whereas Frank went into the ballroom to see the band, I was outside by the bar with my head between my knees.

I did see them at an art and music festival in Hoboken a few years ago, and that’s when it was confirmed that yes, they have great songs, but they are boring live. Not much personality.
So last night I got home from work, and Bill and I had a talk for about 3 hours about Mike and what to do. I decided I wasn’t going to do anything, I was going to do my Pontius Pilate routine and wash my hands of the whole matter.

Towards the end of our session, Mike called. I wasn’t about to call him, so it’s a surprise he did apologize, and his apology fell on semi-deaf ears. I think he realized he fucked up. Bill was part of the conversation for about 20 minutes, then he went to bed, leaving me to talk to Mike for another hour, and I was distant at best.

I told him no one can hurt you like someone you love. He has got to get his shit together (a day later it turns out that he has gotten his shit together). And last night was so insanely hot that I believe when I get home from work today, I am going to install a window air conditioner, perhaps the old one, not the one we got from Brian last year or two years ago but the one I bought 25 years ago which still worked albeit noisily.

I do have to go to Home Depot and see if they have brackets available, cuz I don’t want to spend weeks praying that the air conditioner will not fall out the window, though I have done that before. I was thinking of taking the one that Brian gave us recently and installing that in the TV room. But of course, everything is subject to change, to change the subject.

I am smoking a mini cigar on 5th Avenue once again in the shade of an apartment building, not moving much but about to sweat a lot. There are not too many people out walking around on this lunchtime hour, so it wisely best to stay indoors or limit their time outdoors, which is basically the same thing.

It is a sky blue sky today. The air is thick with heat and humidity. After this, I’m going back inside for it’s much too much for anything else to happen. And once again, I dictate into the phone rather than type later at home. I don’t know what else to tell you.
I am very glad I got my haircut last Thursday on June 19th otherwise I’d probably be sweating and cursing a lot due to that amount of hair on my head One gentleman doesn’t know when to cross the street even though it’s in his favor hanging onto to his backpack as he walks down the street.

Following this discussion with Mike last night, he said he might join Bill and me at the pride parade on Sunday, but I mentioned to Bill that if it’s raining, I’m not that into it, as it rained last year and it was quite dismal. Mike was receptive to the idea, though, so there’s that.

I am wearing shorts to the office because I can and because it’s allowed, which is the same thing. And Marcus is a pain in the ass once again with his pranks and antics. Jimmy Chile yesterday stepped up and gave me some guidance with regards to Mike, so that was good, and even Marcus toned down his manic behavior.

Yesterday, I thought wistfully of being in Ocean Grove and walking down the streets with Bill. Sadly, it’s not happening this year because I just started the job, and I was off for about 5 months.

Why do women wear heels even though they’re bad for their backs? I asked that once, and I was working at the Algerian financial management firm, and the women looked at me like I was from another planet, and to them, I probably was.

I do have to find other pairs of shorts to wear since the ones I’m wearing are a bit how you say comfortable, yet need a wash.

Back at my desk, Invisible Sun by the Police is playing, and I am reminded of hanging out with Kenny and Tina at their apartment on Main Street in Lodi. Tina is Perry Dedovitch’s sister. Nights from 40-plus years ago sitting around listening to music and smoking weed.

PATH train riders (mass transit) are dumb. The train stops at the station, announcements are made, and the majority of riders do not hear it since they’re wearing headphones and earbuds.

Cutting off the nose to spite the face.

A problem with Mike
Mike foolishly quit his job a few weeks ago. He seemed to be offended by a report about him and basically did a George Costanza and stormed out head held high.

He did not have anything lined up and by quitting he had no chance of collecting unemployment benefits. He doesn’t have much to say and I regret to say that the way things are going he might be evicted from his apartment.

I’ve known him since November in person and about a year since we met on social media.
Since he quit his job Bill and I have been doing our best to support him and help him out in any way possible. They gave him a key to the apartment and allowed him access to my computer so he can do what he needs to do.

But lately it seems that I do something or say something that upsets him so much that he lashes out at me and in such a way that I find it to be quite hurtful.

It happened yesterday. I’ve been looking online for jobs there’s a couple of places in Hoboken that did not have anything listed and I thought it might be a good idea just to walk down Washington Street and check out these places in person.

Things didn’t work out as we had hoped and after the last visit to Urban Market he lashed out at me and it was quite hurtful so much so that I barely spoke to him. We came back to the apartment. I set him up on the computer and allowed him to hunt and peck on the keyboard, filling out applications and whatnot for a job since time is running out.

I cook hot dogs and french fries. But conversation basically did not exist between the two of us when he was done he just sat on the couch and looked at his phone not much in communication.

If I wanted to sit in my apartment and not speak to anybody I can do that without anybody there much less somebody that I care for who was pissed off at me.

Now I’m no saint, I know I can be short and curt on occasion and last night I just sat back and allowed him to search online looking over his shoulder sometimes and trying to help him whichever way I could do. But it seems that when I speak up for myself and basically respect myself after he can unload on me, he seems to flip out.

And that just happened a short while ago. He’s going back to his crib in Jersey City and he needs the fan. I know he doesn’t have much money and bought him a fan to be picked up at the Target in Jersey City. But in an effort to cut off the nose despite his face Mike stated that he will buy his own fan he doesn’t need.

And like he quit his job without having any safety net or anything else lined up, he seems to be biting the hand that feeds him both literally and figuratively.

I had mentioned to Bill the other night that he is in danger of losing his apartment and where is he going to go? I was really going to let him have the couch but who knows if he’d have it that way.

Like I said we gave him keys a few weeks ago today I had them taken back which hurt him greatly so much so that if I offered him the keys again he would reject them outright which doesn’t affect me really in any way. He seems to be slicing his nose to spite his face again and again and again.

Let’s face it, I love him. I care for him. I want only the best for him but I also have to love me and care for me and want what’s best for me. For the past couple of months I put him in the forefront and put myself on the back burner. Which was not the smart thing to do but I was willing to do it nonetheless.

He does prefer Bill’s assistance claiming that Bill’s a softer touch whereas I am nothing but mean (he didn’t say that) but that’s the impression I got. In his words I am too snippy. As he was walking to the Target store he felt able to unload on me all the things that I do wrong and how bad I am.

And when I said it seems like I am the bad guy he lost it and hung up the phone. It left me feeling horrible cuz I did not want things to end this way but it seems that’s the way they are ending.

I do not think any of his admirers on social media can or will speak up and help him out, at least not in the way that I have been. And poor Bill is in the middle being the intermediary between Mike and myself.

I have stated before and I will state it again I will help him any way that I can including giving him the couch should the worst happen. He seems to have more Irish pride than I do.
I was out of work for 5 months everyday throughout the day I was online putting my resume out there and filling out applications so I sort of know what he is going through.

True I am not an ex-con so the job search for me is not as difficult as it is for him. But he seems to have forgotten that I was also in his boat looking for work but I did have a safety net, unemployment benefits.

Perhaps too much has been said. Perhaps the horse has left the barn and the door is closed. I wish it were not the case. I’m not even looking for an apology. I just want to help.
With all that’s going on, I feel awful. But I was hurt and I responded in a hurtful manner. Mike has had a hard life and I certainly did not mean to add to it. I just wanted things to improve, which meant helping him look for a job.

And if that meant walking into a store and asking if they were hiring that’s all. It was a rare moment for me to be optimistic and hopeful and apparently it did not translate to that at all.