Cutting off the nose to spite the face.

A problem with Mike
Mike foolishly quit his job a few weeks ago. He seemed to be offended by a report about him and basically did a George Costanza and stormed out head held high.

He did not have anything lined up and by quitting he had no chance of collecting unemployment benefits. He doesn’t have much to say and I regret to say that the way things are going he might be evicted from his apartment.

I’ve known him since November in person and about a year since we met on social media.
Since he quit his job Bill and I have been doing our best to support him and help him out in any way possible. They gave him a key to the apartment and allowed him access to my computer so he can do what he needs to do.

But lately it seems that I do something or say something that upsets him so much that he lashes out at me and in such a way that I find it to be quite hurtful.

It happened yesterday. I’ve been looking online for jobs there’s a couple of places in Hoboken that did not have anything listed and I thought it might be a good idea just to walk down Washington Street and check out these places in person.

Things didn’t work out as we had hoped and after the last visit to Urban Market he lashed out at me and it was quite hurtful so much so that I barely spoke to him. We came back to the apartment. I set him up on the computer and allowed him to hunt and peck on the keyboard, filling out applications and whatnot for a job since time is running out.

I cook hot dogs and french fries. But conversation basically did not exist between the two of us when he was done he just sat on the couch and looked at his phone not much in communication.

If I wanted to sit in my apartment and not speak to anybody I can do that without anybody there much less somebody that I care for who was pissed off at me.

Now I’m no saint, I know I can be short and curt on occasion and last night I just sat back and allowed him to search online looking over his shoulder sometimes and trying to help him whichever way I could do. But it seems that when I speak up for myself and basically respect myself after he can unload on me, he seems to flip out.

And that just happened a short while ago. He’s going back to his crib in Jersey City and he needs the fan. I know he doesn’t have much money and bought him a fan to be picked up at the Target in Jersey City. But in an effort to cut off the nose despite his face Mike stated that he will buy his own fan he doesn’t need.

And like he quit his job without having any safety net or anything else lined up, he seems to be biting the hand that feeds him both literally and figuratively.

I had mentioned to Bill the other night that he is in danger of losing his apartment and where is he going to go? I was really going to let him have the couch but who knows if he’d have it that way.

Like I said we gave him keys a few weeks ago today I had them taken back which hurt him greatly so much so that if I offered him the keys again he would reject them outright which doesn’t affect me really in any way. He seems to be slicing his nose to spite his face again and again and again.

Let’s face it, I love him. I care for him. I want only the best for him but I also have to love me and care for me and want what’s best for me. For the past couple of months I put him in the forefront and put myself on the back burner. Which was not the smart thing to do but I was willing to do it nonetheless.

He does prefer Bill’s assistance claiming that Bill’s a softer touch whereas I am nothing but mean (he didn’t say that) but that’s the impression I got. In his words I am too snippy. As he was walking to the Target store he felt able to unload on me all the things that I do wrong and how bad I am.

And when I said it seems like I am the bad guy he lost it and hung up the phone. It left me feeling horrible cuz I did not want things to end this way but it seems that’s the way they are ending.

I do not think any of his admirers on social media can or will speak up and help him out, at least not in the way that I have been. And poor Bill is in the middle being the intermediary between Mike and myself.

I have stated before and I will state it again I will help him any way that I can including giving him the couch should the worst happen. He seems to have more Irish pride than I do.
I was out of work for 5 months everyday throughout the day I was online putting my resume out there and filling out applications so I sort of know what he is going through.

True I am not an ex-con so the job search for me is not as difficult as it is for him. But he seems to have forgotten that I was also in his boat looking for work but I did have a safety net, unemployment benefits.

Perhaps too much has been said. Perhaps the horse has left the barn and the door is closed. I wish it were not the case. I’m not even looking for an apology. I just want to help.
With all that’s going on, I feel awful. But I was hurt and I responded in a hurtful manner. Mike has had a hard life and I certainly did not mean to add to it. I just wanted things to improve, which meant helping him look for a job.

And if that meant walking into a store and asking if they were hiring that’s all. It was a rare moment for me to be optimistic and hopeful and apparently it did not translate to that at all.