A bright and sunny Friday afternoon, the last Friday of May 2025. I walk around Union Square at least the perimeter of Union Square. I’m reminded of seeing Peter Gabriel at the Palladium, I guess in 1982, with Kevin Wagner, and we parked, or I parked, in Union Square. A great show by Peter Gabriel, and we ran across Union Square after the show, got in the car, drove back to Hoboken.

It was the first time I ever tried to go to Maxwell’s, REM was playing, and the show is sold out. Steve Fallon was outside, and he looked me right in the eye and would not let me in but he didn’t know who I was, and my brother was inside anyway.

That’s just a memory, then Kevin and I went to the Saddle Brook diner where we saw a classmate that we graduated with 2 years before, and he did not recognize me at all or if he did he was not to say anything to me.

I got some chocolate bread for myself and Mike, and then to get a salad in my attempt to eat well at least once a week. I remarked last week that the salad was good but not nearly as good as the salad I used to get at 11 Park Place, the Elim Deli. The salad was very good, but I found as I was eating it I was getting hungrier and hungrier, which was a weird thing, I suppose.

I am now outside having a mini cigar, just chilling. It’s been a very slow day, not many requests coming in, not much fulfillment going out. I am also trying to select the proper insurance plan from work. I had one already from the state of New Jersey when I was unemployed and had not much income coming in, but now I have income coming in and I have to make a decision.

If only someone could say John, you should do this with John, you should pick that I do so much more satisfied and of course that would shift the level of responsibility to someone else because I could always say well you told me that I should do that and you told me I should do this…

Sigh…now I am tired. About two and a half hours left to go, I can’t say whether or not it will go fast or slow. I find that sparrows are flying around me sometimes, and not afraid of me, and they should not be afraid of me.

I can’t say I have writer’s block, it’s more like dictation block. And I usually have something to say, but right now I am at a loss for words. I am sure I can think of something to say to get the word count up to 500, but until then, maybe maybe not. If I could take a nap right now, I definitely would; it would be so fulfilling and pass the time nicely.

Alas, it is not to be for I am now working full time at a job that I actually like, and I actually am hesitant in saying that as my atheist beliefs preclude superstition, which haunts my days.

I have found a spot to sit, which is a standpipe outside the building where I work, not necessarily comfortable, but not necessarily uncomfortable either, merely functional.
A woman just power walked by with her phone in one hand and an iced coffee in the other, and I saw determination on her face.

A few minutes before that, a woman who could possibly be my age wearing something like a hippie shirt looked by and gave me a smile to which I replied in kind.

Written May 30, posted May 31

It is a damp Thursday afternoon, the last Thursday of May 2025. It seems I’m quite helpless today. Started around 2:31 last night when the clothes rack that I found on the street a couple weeks ago collapsed, waking up Bill and me, and of course, rather than leave the clothes lying all over the floor he did our best to clean them up and put them somewhere in the middle of the night.

And doing that, my sleep is disrupted, and I was having a good night’s sleep. I liken my sleep situation as having to go through one of many doors, each door leading to something, and one of those doors will lead me to sleep, and I frantically tried to open as many doors as I could but yet unable to sleep. And it seems that when I was able to sleep was only going to wake up minutes later to go to work, so there wasn’t much rest, and I was so very discombobulated.

Discombobulated it’s a word that doesn’t get used often enough, and if it is, perhaps it’s incorrect what it is used. Got to work early as I usually do, but my mind was so fried from the lack of sleep that I could not remember my password on the iMac that I use daily. I answered whatever password I thought was and got locked out.

First, I was locked out for 5 minutes, then 15 minutes, then an hour, then 3 hours. Of course me being me, I think I really fucked up and they’re going to be tired of me and the shit that I do or lack thereof. Of course, they told me that everybody loves me and they like the job that I’m doing which of course they would say rather than you keep fucking up and we are getting tired of your shit.

Yance was summoned to my office from the office where he is and said he wouldn’t be able to do it until early this afternoon. Much to my surprise, he showed up before noon and was able to set things up. Things still aren’t at 100%, but they might be getting there, as far as I hope. I have a good team that I work with, and maybe they’re picking up the slack that I am dropping because I can’t find things to do, but like I said, they might be picking up the slack.

Bill was supposed to be on the road for a charter for a few days, and that was canceled so he’s disappointed. I do love having him around, but when he’s not around, Mike does step up, and I think Mike might be disappointed as well.

Today, I am wandering around just north of the village, trying to figure out what to do and where to go.

The song Turning Japanese plays in my head. It is a song by a band called The Vapors, and the song is 45 years old, older than my coworkers, hahaha.

It is not raining right now as I sit on 5th Avenue outside 100 5th Avenue. Still, I feel obligated to go in as soon as I’m done with this mini-cigar that I am smoking.
It is just one of those days, and of course, I am paranoid.