You’ve caught me at a good time in my headspace. Things have been despairing as of late. I wake up, have my coffee, and check email responses to jobs I had applied to with little or no results. Whatever good mood I might be in when I putter around the apartment, within moments it crashes down.

Bill does his very best to alleviate my downward turn, but sometimes I am too far gone to appreciate it and push back resentfully. That is not resentment towards Bill but rather towards my circumstances and my anger for Bratty McGrotty and those worms. There have been times when I felt it would be best to go out and get some fresh air and Bill joins me.

He earnestly tries to build me up, but I lash out unfairly. It’s harder this time around, with the former junkie leading the Health and Human Services department laying off 10,000 employees on top of the thousands of other workers dismissed from their jobs in the name of cost efficiency. Oh it’s such bullshit, I know, and I can’t help but see these people as competition for work that is scarce already.

Like I have posted before if Bill or Mike is here, I focus on them and put my troubled mind to the side. When there is no one around, and there is no one around all the time, then I get into trouble.

Today was slightly better, though. There was a phone interview earlier this afternoon which was mediocre, but OK. I don’t think it went well, but that’s not up to me. There was another phone interview later this afternoon, which went incredibly well. The woman was engaging and somewhat intelligent, and we got along just fine.

Bill overheard both interviews and agreed the second interview was tops. It really lifted my spirits considerably. I am trying not to fall into the sticky sweet puddle of hope, but sometimes it can not be resisted. Plus it is better than being the morose person I have been as of late.

Mike is at his crib in Jersey City. Bill is on his way home with the company car. I am happy. I had a fun phone call with Mike, and Bill is his Silly Billy self. The other night, when Mike was here, Mike explained how when he was younger and in a Chicago version of “Little Shop of Horrors”.

The director had Mike act out Audrey II, but it was decided that might couldn’t sing and so had another guy sing those parts with Mike doing the ‘Feed me Seymour’ lines. I decided to see what Mike could do and asked him to do a tone.

Just a simple ‘Ahhh’, which Bill and his perfect pitch stated it to be an ‘A’. I matched Mike’s tone, and Bill matched mine. Mike was surprised at this, and we did it a few more times. The whole thing was less than five minutes but it opened Mike’s eyes, or ears as it were.

It was a fine example of small, lowercase, fun.