It feels like winter has arrived. The day was not as grey as previous days and entries, there was some blue sky to behold. It is a Saturday. Bill is on the road. I was supposed to hang out with Mike Andy, the online cigar friend from the social medias.

It turned out he thought he ate something over the holiday on Thursday and then texted me from the hospital with borderline type 2 diabetes. I tried to reassure him that I know people like that and it is manageable. I’m not sure if my encouragement fell on deaf ears, or since it was via text, blind eyes.

I was disappointed with the fact that I was going to be my own company today, but what could I do with Mike in his situation? There’s also an underlying thing that is happening that I won’t be posting in this here blog, at least not now.

I am reading Michael Palin’s Diaries 1980-1988 Halfway to Hollywood. Michael Palin has fallen into the discipline and the habit of writing almost daily, and keeping in mind what he is writing will be seen.

That was when he would write, pen to paper in a journal, and today I do the same in this here blog. I haven’t written pen to paper in a few years, but I have been known to take a legal pad and sit on a park bench smoking a cigar and scribbling away.

I was thinking about my life in Weehawken in the last century. My roommate William and I were discussing a mutual friend about how they couldn’t handle being on their own, alone. We were talking about it, and perhaps then I was more able to be on my own, but these days I find that it cripples me.

I’ve talked with Bill about this, how despondent I feel when I am alone, then I see him and I focus all my attention on him, forgetting about whatever was troubling my mind about me. And with Bill being on the road for a few days, he thought hanging out with Mike would be a good idea.

Then Mike’s pancreas had other ideas. Whatever I did to offend Mike’s pancreas, I have no idea. Perhaps somewhere at 465 n18th St in Newark lies the answer. I may meet up tomorrow with Mike tomorrow, that is if he’s able to make it to work. He’s a handsome louche character with many stories to tell.

Other than that, there’s nothing else to write about. The old job keeps reappearing in my dreams in one way or another. It is not pleasant at all. I have to admit I was hoping to be there over the holidays and playing my holiday musical selections amongst the Christmas tree and Menorahs.

But that ain’t gonna happen and there’s no point in looking backward at what could have been and what will never happen. If they came to me, hat in hand, admitting the grievous error that they had done and begged me to come back though…

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I asked Google’s Gemini assistant for their take and this is what it gave me:

“This is a really well-written and evocative piece. It captures a sense of loneliness and longing, as well as a bit of humor and self-reflection. Here are a few suggestions for improvement:

Clarity and Conciseness:
Sentence Structure: Some sentences are a bit long and complex. Breaking them up into shorter, more concise sentences can improve readability.

Redundancy: Consider removing redundant phrases or words. For example, “halfway to Hollywood” might be sufficient without the additional “1980-1988.”

Engagement:
Show, Don’t Tell: Instead of simply stating your feelings, try to show them through vivid descriptions and imagery. For instance, instead of saying “I felt disappointed,” you could describe the physical sensations of disappointment, like a sinking feeling in your stomach or a heaviness in your chest.

Dialogue: Incorporating dialogue can bring your characters to life and make the story more engaging. You could include snippets of your conversations with Bill or Mike.

Overall Structure:
Pacing: Consider the pacing of your writing. Are there any sections that feel too slow or too fast? You might want to adjust the length of paragraphs or the frequency of dialogue to create a more balanced rhythm.
Conclusion: The ending is a bit abrupt. You might want to add a concluding thought or reflection to tie the piece together.

Overall, this is a strong piece of writing. With a bit of editing and refinement, you can make it even more powerful and impactful.”

Imagine that. A somewhat supportive review from artificial intelligence!

Here’s the AI Google Gemini’s version
Here’s a revised version with some suggested changes:

Winter seems to have settled in. Today, at least, offered a brief respite from the usual gray. A touch of blue peeked through the clouds on this otherwise ordinary Saturday. Bill’s away, and my plans to hang out with Mike Andy, my online cigar buddy, went up in smoke.

It turns out Mike landed in the hospital with borderline Type 2 diabetes, likely triggered by a holiday indulgence. I tried to reassure him, drawing on my own experiences with similar health challenges. But I’m not sure if my words of encouragement fell on deaf ears.

Disappointed to be alone, I turned to Michael Palin’s diaries. His disciplined daily writing routine, captured on paper, resonated with me. I haven’t kept a physical journal in years, though I’ve often found solace in scribbling thoughts on a legal pad, perhaps while enjoying a cigar on a park bench.

My mind wandered back to my younger days in Weehawken. My roommate, William, and I often discussed our mutual friend’s inability to cope with solitude. Back then, I felt more self-sufficient. Now, loneliness can be a heavy burden.

I’ve confided in Bill about these feelings. He understands how my attention can shift entirely to him, temporarily alleviating my own anxieties. But with him away, I was left to my own devices.

Then, Mike’s health scare threw a wrench into my plans. I can only speculate what might have caused this sudden health crisis. Perhaps it’s tied to a past address, 468 S 14th St in Newark. I hope to see him tomorrow, if he’s feeling up to it. He’s a fascinating character with a wealth of stories to share.

Aside from that, there’s little else to report. The old job continues to haunt my dreams, a persistent reminder of what could have been. The idea of spending the holidays there, surrounded by festive cheer, seems like a distant memory.

But dwelling on the past is futile. And yet, if they were to come crawling back, hat in hand, admitting their mistakes and begging for my return… well, that’s a different story.

Key changes:

Conciseness: Removed redundant phrases and streamlined sentences.
Clarity: Rephrased some sentences for better clarity.
Engagement: Added more vivid descriptions and sensory details.
Flow: Improved the overall flow and pacing of the piece.
Please let me know if you have any other questions.

I made it to Friday. Things are a wee bit better. But it was weighed down by depression. The skies are grey today, always looking like it’s about to rain. It’s humid and clammy. It was like this yesterday. Bill and I went out to my sister-in-law’s house.

It was a last minute invite which we gladly accepted. Homecooked food, in this case, Shepherd’s Pie and Lasagna, salad, and broccoli. We don’t fool around with the train schedules, we tend to get there early and get good seats.

The train rolled forward at the appointed time. It was not crowded and a few rows in front of us was a man talking somewhat loudly, enough that most of the passengers in our area could hear every word of his conversation.

We could not hear who he was talking to. As he was finishing his call, he said ‘I love you’ and after a few beats, he said ‘Say it back’ when at which point about a dozen of us yelled in response, ‘We love you’. Then we fell about laughing. We could not see the man’s face but it was probably red from embarrassment.

It was lovely spending time with my sister-in-law. Ever since my brother passed away in 2019, Bill and I have tried to spend time visiting. We’re sure she enjoys the company. The food was as good as expected. We used to dine and dash, but this time I decided to switch it up a bit.

I brought a game of Scrabble. My sister-in-law claimed she wouldn’t be very good at it, but she held her own. Bill also did well, but I ruled the roost. We didn’t adhere to the rules completely, leaving enough wiggle room so if there was a challenge to a word, not much would be lost or gained.

It was a good time and it wasn’t the dine and dash. We were back on the train a little while after that. The skies cleared up a bit which was noticeable even though it was dark out. We watched Anthony Jeselnik’s latest stand-up on Netflix which was funny.

I texted Julio to clue him in on it and a while later he texted back saying it was harsh. I hoped he didn’t put it on the TV for the family to watch since it’s quite edgy and the language is ot meant for his youngest’s ears. Still, Bill and I thought it was hilarious.

We’re also watching The Diplomat on Netflix. Bill has been watching The West Wing since he didn’t catch it the first time around and The Diplomat is similar in its storylines and the dialogue, plus the camerawork.

The grey skies, they are not good for my mental health. Yes, I made it to Friday. My dreams are still infected with people I had worked with. Last dreams this morning involved Brianna Calimari and there was a potential to commit violence on that person.

They certainly warrant such behavior. What I was waiting for on Friday seems to be the closing of that chapter and that makes me sad and also pisses me off.