Today has been quite a day. Last night’s sleep wasn’t as easy as I had hoped. A dream about a nuclear disaster that was forthcoming as Bill and I were at the bottom of the hill at Gunther Avenue and Main Street in Lodi in the neighborhood where I grew up. Bill and me and maybe 2 children. We seemed to be waiting for the blast.

It was troublesome enough to wake me up. I got out of bed as a way to change the channel of my dreams as well as to lose some water. It was somewhat peaceful, for the rest of the sleep session. Once again I had gone to sleep earlier and so I woke up earlier and that gets me into the office a little bit earlier.

Everything was OK as the workday began except for a closeted matron who stocks things throughout the office. Now this guy did not like me from day one. I don’t know why. I tried to connect with him since we were going to be working together doing the post office run. It was my first day and the closeted matron was showing me the ropes.

As we headed back to the office I ran ahead to open the door for him and said, ‘Here you go, Boss’. To this the closeted matron replied by yelling ‘I AM NOT YOUR BOSS!’. I explained that it was merely a sign of respect. I call the guy who makes my salads ‘Boss’. I call many people who are not my boss, ‘Boss’.

But the closeted matron had his mind made up. I was trouble. I tried to think about what his problem was, it did seem a bit too familiar. It reminded me of meeting a closeted opera singer customer at Davidoff. The then assistant manager introduced us and the closeted opera singer could not get away from me fast enough.

The closeted opera singer was in the closet due to a large inheritance he would get should he marry a woman or when the person who had the money died.
Well, the closeted opera singer died in the closet.

It’s a closeted thing I guess. Those in the closet hate those who are out of the closet. Choices had been made and the closeted folk lived their lives in a lie. Some, like the closeted matron, might have even gone so far as to get married and have a kid to show their immediate world that there was no way they were homosexual, they’re married with a child!

Homosexuals can’t do that! For the past three years, it’s been rather strained between me and the closeted matron. If I’m in an elevator and the doors open for him to get in (since he pressed the elevator button to summon the elevator) he would see me and not get in.

If we were both waiting for the elevator, when the elevator would arrive he would not get in. Recently he had taken to coughing and not covering his mouth if we passed each other in a hallway. I’d keep walking, humming to myself, or laughing. Today that set him off.

He went a bit crazy. Yelling a strange cackle of a laugh. It all came to a head when he started doing that when we were both in a kitchen near some other workers. Then he started yelling, asking if I wanted to fight. He offered to fight me a few times, loud enough for the nearby workers to take notice.

I went back to my desk and he eventually showed up there, yelling at me to fight and doing the cackle. He said he was going to tell the inhuman resources director and I told him to tell her I said hi. I also said that he should get help which he heard me as saying that he should go to hell. There is no way I would upset those tormented souls in hell by sending the closeted matron there.

I fired off an email to the inhuman resources director, as well as the head of the company’s assistant. I did feel threatened and thought if this guy is like this right now, what would stop him from stabbing me or getting a gun and shooting at me? A few short meetings with the inhuman resources director (who asked for the names of coworkers who had heard this closeted matron’s outburst. The spoke up in my defense), and the Legume who seemed sympathetic and was on my side.

I certainly did not tell Schlomo the DKB, who the Legume agreed that he is lacking in managerial skills. The owner of the company, his assistant, and the Legume all had talks with the closeted matron.

Later in the day, I was told this information and that it would be best to not have anything at all to do with the closeted matron, and I would have no problem with that.