Friday finally. At least I think it’s Friday. Wait, I am pretty sure that it’s a Friday. It was a busy enough day without a visit to the bibliothèque or the cigar shop. A lot of running around today. A trip to the supermarket, to the cleaners, to CVS, and to the optician. Yes I finally got my new eyeglasses. If you’re on Facebook or Google +, then you’ve seen them and you’ve loved them. At least 11 people liked them enough and I’m sure if Facebook had a ‘love’ button it would be worn out with love for this former stripper.

So here I am once again on a Friday evening, the rebroadcast of the Daily Show is on which was preceded by the Colbert Report. I caught the latter and now watching the former. Or do I have that backwards. I don’t know- it’s Friday. Let me breathe, let me put balm on where the tassels used to be.

Back to the eyeglasses- I like them and after a couple of weeks of not seeing very well through scratched lenses, it took some getting used to. And having progressive lenses to match my political outlook, it also takes some time for full appreciation.

Things are a bit curvy at the bottom of the lenses which makes a simple walk down the street feeling like the edges were done by Salvador Dali playing with a fish eye lens. The clocks do seem to be melting a bit more than usual. I always forget persistence. And they are transition lenses which get darker in the sunlight, though when I am wearing them I can never tell and find myself trying to catch my reflection in store windows or passing cars. And the glasses are not branded, though they do have Ernest Hemingway’s name on the inside.

Which means if Ernest Hemingway ever turns up and asks for his glasses back, all he would have to say is that his name is on them and I wouldn’t be able to deny that. Then he would punch me in the mouth before taking the eyeglasses away.

I’ve been wearing eyeglasses since the 5th grade. Everyone in my family wears eyeglasses and despite being told I was adopted most of my life, I guess nurture usurped nature and through a strange osmosis my eyes needed corrective lenses as well. I was seen squinting a few times at the blackboard in class and was able to use that excuse for lousy grades, ‘I couldn’t read the black board’.

With the proper lenses I was able to see better and my grades stayed the same, fair to middling and always room for improvement if I just applied myself. I was only supposed to wear them when reading but wound up wearing them all the time which did not make my eyes any better. My eyes gradually got worse and every year or so new glasses would be in order.

But you won’t find me wearing Dolce & Gabanna or Burberry or Tom Ford eyeglasses, not unless they were paying me to wear their products, paying me to advertise them. Since that is unlikely to happen, their eyeglasses won’t be adorning my face anytime soon.




Happiness