December | 2011 | johnozed

Well it was back to work for me again today. Back to the cigar shack. Yesterday could have been better but what can you do? Being anti-social, I do not call any friends and I am somewhat relieved when they don’t call me as promised. No hard feelings.

Sean, the former co-worker from the cigar shack is trying to become a corrections officer and I told him I would try to get him in touch with Pedro. But Pedro doesn’t return my calls and Sean never called me like he said. Same thing with Mike C, when I saw him the other day doing volunteer work at the library he mentioned giving me a call, to go over to his place and hang out and listen to music.

No call, no worries. It’s nothing new, I don’t want to see anyone, I don’t want to hang out with anyone, and I don’t want to chat online with anyone most especially. I do not like the fact that my chat room window opens up on Facebook when I prefer it closed.

I don’t have the time to buy frames or photo albums for the pictures I had developed by CVS so I will mail them out next week when I do have the time. The left coast wing knows this already, the east coast wing will find out when I show up empty handed on Saturday night.

I thought I would make some nice gifts from some photos from over the years and I could swear last year when I did the same thing, it did not take that long for them to be shipped. I had them shipped to the CVS near the cigar shack instead of Hoboken so maybe that is the problem. In any event, nothing from this relative until next week.

There’s a picture of my sister in law Elaine with her daughters Meghan and Corinne and I am not sure if I gave them the same picture last year. Bill of course is so supportive and tells me they will see how much I care, how I captured the moment and presented it to them. Nice sentiment, but it doesn’t stop me from looking like a fool if they get the exact same photo that they got the year before.

And speaking of presents, totally out of the blue, the ultra kind and thoughtful Jimmy Seltzer bought me a present. He really did not have to and it was not expected but it should come in handy should I get drafted into the Swiss Army.

It’s been a very long day today and tomorrow promises to be just like today, another eleven hour day, Zack asked if I could come in at 11:30 instead of 12:30 and of course I could not say no. So tomorrow will be long and busy and of course Saturday will be even more insane. I will be closing tomorrow night and opening on Saturday morning.

For me, Christmas is just a day off. I’ll give myself some wiggle room and say that is at least how I feel right now. And I have all those wonderful tracks that Pandora picks out to listen to at work since the playlist of over 200 holiday songs seems to have fallen out of favor. What do I know? I only used to be a DJ. Let some computer faraway decide what to play. Sort of like Clear Channel Communications if you ask me.

You know what? I am not so fond of the holidays anymore, though it does give me an opportunity to see most of my family, if only for a few hours. And hey, I do have Sunday off.

Once again, Julio asked me out for one drink before he flies off to Denmark tomorrow and of course I had to turn him down. C’est la vie.

Nessun dorma

Well it’s another day off and whereas yesterday had been alright, a visit to the Guitar Bar, today is fraught with hurdles to leap. Nothing insurmountable but still it gets me down. A week or so I saw some nice, affordable items that I ordered for Bill online. An hour or so later I saw that I was double charged and so I contacted the company and they didn’t see it and suggested I call my bank.

I called the bank and asked them to look into it. They did and in doing so, promptly stopped my bank card from functioning. I did not know this until this morning when I tried to charge some groceries at the supermarket. The total was $5.36 and no I did not have the cash available on me, hence using the card. Rejected twice I used my emergency card and headed out of the market.

I tried calling my bank and waited for about 20 minutes on hold before a young man was able to help me. He saw I had claimed fraud where I only asked for an inquiry. I also explained to the young man that I was able to use the card several times since my initial call, only today it was rejected. After about five minutes he was able to activate my card again.

I was glad that that had been taken care of but still I am feeling the pressure. Maybe it’s the holidays- maybe it’s the ‘Sunday night syndrome’, being off today and headed back to work tomorrow. I am usually fine once at work but it’s the buildup that almost always gets me down. And today it’s all buildup.

Some good news though, the bonuses came in, and Sharon Burr was correct. The bonus was direct deposit and the usual payroll check which is always direct deposited, was not direct deposited. I was going to head into the city to pick it up but I just couldn’t bear to visit the cigar shack when I didn’t have to be there.

I sent Zack an email, telling him Bill would be picking up my check. I sent it at 12:43 this afternoon. Bill offered to pick it up for me and since my bank is open until 8:00 tonight I will run over there and deposit it. Over three hours later, no response from Zack. No “that will be alright if Bill picks up the check” and “No, absolutely not”. I’m sure it will be OK since Bill has more than likely picked it up or is en route and I expect to hear from him one way or another.

I just had a long phone call with my brother Frank. It was a good call, both of us in similar frames of mind. I have to be careful about saying how much alike our frames of mind are since if I am not careful it can turn into a pissing contest. “I am more depressed than you.” “No you’re not- I am angst ridden and quite morose” “Well I have 11 years of depression on you, so there!”

But it really wasn’t like that, it was a friendly commiserating. And of course dear old Dad entered the conversation, 12 years after shedding his mortal coil. I didn’t know that my grandfather on my father’s side was an immigrant. I had a feeling but I wasn’t sure. It certainly explains some things about my father’s personality, his upbringing and how he brought my brothers and sister and myself up, or rather brought us down.

Frank and I had to commiserate today since when we actually see each other on Christmas Eve there will be no time for such downbeat matters. Bill should be home in a few hours and I will help him up the four flights of stairs, with the heavy amplifier that was too heavy to bring upstairs after bringing up various other pieces of equipment and keyboards last night.

Hopefully he will tell me when he is on the bus so I can meet him, go to my bank, deposit the check and when we return home, could carry the heavy amplifier to the fifth floor. Well I made some dinner, some ziti with pesto and chicken. I took two bites when the smartphone chirped. It was Bill and he was at the Path terminal.

He had my check and I got myself together and headed out, catching a bus downtown so Bill wouldn’t have to wait too long. Then it was at the bank large bank, only one table where you can write your deposit or withdrawal slips, only room for two, I squeezed in to make it three. Then it was back home and as we walked I felt compelled to hold Bill’s hand as we walked up the boulevard.

In case of trouble I had my keys in my fist in my pocket. It is a political act, our showing of affection and I wanted to be prepared. We walked home as the Jehovah’s Witnesses were heading to their meeting. Some averted glances as we strolled, then it was carrying the very heavy amplifier up four flights to the fifth floor.

At least my food was still warm enough to eat and I did.

Christmas Blues