Monthly Archives: May 2009

Forgetful Heart

So here I am again, this time it’s Tuesday. Oh, I neglected to mention that I wrote yesterday’s entry using Google Docs. As I am today. I usually use Open Office but it was annoying me. This is quite user friendly which is why I using again today. I’m still at work.

Going to a wake tonight in Manhasset, Long Island. A former co-worker’s father passed away and since the co-worker was a nice person I thought I would show my face. I’m meeting up with 2 other former co-workers, Robert and Gazi.

I’m meeting Gazi in front of the library then heading into the subway to meet Robert where we will ride to Gazi’s house in Queens and then drive to Manhasset. So that is all out of the ordinary.

Last night was nothing special again. Wound up alternating between listening to music and watching TV.

Today is the dreaded May 12. A foul day for me and my siblings. In 1991 May 12 was Mother’s Day which turned into the worst day of my life. Or one of them at least. Since I wrote about it previously on May 12, 2006 there’s no need to go and write about that sadness again, at least not today.

Work has been weird today, but what else is new? Vivek was in this morning and asked me if I was going to be able to work with him on his latest project. Of course I said yes. I mentioned that despite a few stumbling blocks once they’re out of the way I could only see clear sailing.

I think I have the gift of telling people what they want to hear. He was somewhat subdued but seemed to appreciate what I was saying. But there is always this anxiety that invades my consciousness throughout the day. It usually happens when I’m out of the office running an errand or something.

Today I had to deposit some dosh for Vivek and as I walked to the bank it struck me. Just the uncertainty in my employment. My sister Annemarie nailed it before I even recognized it. Working in what used to be a financial firm that is teetering on the brink of disaster is freaking me out in moments where my mind is unoccupied.

On the way to the bank there was a Salsa band playing and that certainly took my mind off my woes. I’m a sucker for a trombone.

I’ve done all I can do for the day here in the office and now it seems I’m merely killing time until 5:15 when I will leave, light up a cigar and wander over to the Public Library on Fifth Avenue and meet up with Gazi. I haven’t seen him in a few years so that should be a hoot, if only the circumstances where more entertaining than going to a wake.

I’m just glad to be writing this now rather than trying to write it later. I hope to get home at a decent hour.

Tomorrow I’m going to see the Ludes at Kenny’s Castaways on Bleecker Street. The Ludes are John and Donna Hamilton and Dave from Tiny Lights with Lois DiLivio performing a tribute to the Carpenters. It’s a free show so if you find yourself on Bleecker Street around 9:00PM, stop by.

It’s also a farewell for John Hamilton who is leaving NYU to teach at Harvard. I suppose I’ll be writing early tomorrow as well since it makes sense to stay in the city, rather than head home and then back into the city again.

Plus they do want me to stay late here at work so if I stay until 8:00 that should make them somewhat happy.

Now here’s some Salsa!
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Lip Service

And we’re back on Monday again. And that means back to the bullshit. I was more anxious about it last night than I was this morning. But I put on my brave face and headed in.

I decided to listen to Elvis Costello & the Attractions, This Year’s Model. Good way to start off the week I thought. That brought back the memory of being such an Elvis Costello fan that I really wanted (I Don’t Want to Go to) Chelsea and it wasn’t on any US versions.

I wound up taking a bus to a record store next to the Oritani theater in Hackensack and buying a Canadian EP which cost me my bus fare. causing me to call home and my brother Frank picked me up, understanding my love of music while upset that he had to pick me up.

I should have walked home and could have but I was scared from all of the stories I heard about Hackensack in those days.

Vivek and Sanjay were back from India with their crazy plans. Today I was told to find them a suite in National Harbor in Maryland, checking in tomorrow, checking out on Wednesday. Of course since it was less than 24 hours to check in, hotel rooms were unavailable.

And they were very specific on which hotel they wanted. Which made it impossible. It was out of my hands. I do wonder whats going on with them.

This morning I received a phone call for Vivek. He wasn’t in yet so I took a message. It was all about some woman they are hiring in June.

I did wonder if she was being hired for my job. Not that I want to be out of work, but to go through the anxiety that Vivek creates, is it worth hanging onto a job like that?

Abby was in today and though he’s a nice guy, he’s also a liar. I caught him in a lie. I asked him if he got his car back to the dealer before the lease expired, causing me to go into the office on a Saturday. He told me he lied to the dealer, saying that he was awfully sick and wouldn’t be able to return the car on time.

It’s good to know the people you work for.

I left the office around 6:00 tonight which was early for them, but since I had been there since 9:30 it was getting late for me. Enjoyed a nice cigar walking across town, a Saint Luis Rey. It was a nice evening, New Order- Power, Corruption and Lies on the iPod.

Last night Bill came home, stressed out as usual and needing a big hug which I gladly gave him. I was happy to have him home and we watched Scrubs from last week, the penultimate episode and the season/series finale. He got weepy which made me get weepy at the end. Not sobbing, just a bit of the bladder moving closer to the eyes.

After that he just sat on the couch with his eyes closed. I suggested he go to bed and he did. I watched the Alzheimer’s documentary on HBO which was depressing and sad.

Bill really wanted to watch it and I’m sure he will. I’ll probably need to have some more tissues around for that. Bill’s mother has Alzheimer’s and there are a lot of people that are a lot worse than Bill’s mother in the documentary.

There really wasn’t anything lightweight to watch after that. And I certainly did look up and down the dial.

I wound up reading some more of Uncut magazine before going to bed after the news.

That’s about all that’s going on around here and in my mind. How are things on your end?