Sunday. Been awake for a little over 90 minutes. I got to get some friends that want to do things with me. The ones I have now don’t want to do anything with me so that means it’s time for some new friends. I regret not going to Otisville to visit Rey this weekend. The plans Juan and I made fell by the wayside when Juan decided he didn’t want to hang with me. No plans made with Bill since he does whatever it is that he wants to do and I don’t even suggest anything with him anymore. And Julio is busy trying to get ready for his trip to Denmark so that means no beach for me. He was supposed to call me back last night and I was hoping to do something with him last night, even if it meant hanging out in his apartment or going to a bar in Hoboken. But he never called and I went to bed at 10:30 after watching The Cider House Rules. Got to get some new friends. I’ll keep Rey but I need to check the warranty on the others. The only one of those that might read this is Juan anyhow.

I don’t know what it is. I used to have fun doing things by myself, but not lately. And I’m starting to get the message that doing things with me is not fun hence my friends not being around. True, I’ve been avoiding thinking like this since Frank has been in the hospital, and I’ve been using my free time to go visit him, getting well acquainted with the NJ Transit bus schedules. Now Frank is in rehabilitation for a few more days and it’s not as easy to get to Saddle Brook as it is to get to Hackensack. I just had an idea to take the bus to Hackensack and walking the rest of the way to Saddle Brook. It’s been about twenty years since I’ve done that, and I do have the legs to do it again. But right now I don’t really know what I’ll do and it’s only a little past 8:30.

Do I have options? Yes I do. I could go into the city again and maybe check out the freaks at the Folsom Street Fair. That usually leaves me cold and alienated. I went last year and left cold and alienated so why would it be any different this year. Just a memory about how lonely I am and how no one is around to do anything with me, including my room mate, Bill. That’s how it seems to be lately. We’re affectionate room mates.

I wish I could take a trip somewhere without anyone going with me and without anyone knowing where it is that I went to. If I’m going to be alone, I’d rather be alone on my own terms. Anything to get the hell away from here. A life experience to be had without any of my friends sounds really enticing right now. Not feeling sorry for myself at all. Ha! Just a dash of surrealism for me. Maybe I’ll get ready for work tomorrow since there is nothing else to do. And it’s not even 9:00 yet. Maybe I should have named this entry ‘Leave Me Alone’ instead of Friday’s entry. I’ve become a drag to be around.

Who am I kidding? I am just full of self pity this Sunday morning.

Not much self pity in the afternoon. Had to get the hell out of the apartment and away from me basically. Just hopped on a bus and immersed myself in the NYC subway system, lucking out an riding a Q train out to Coney Island that ran express. Got off the train, salt air filling my nostrils. Of course as soon as I start walking towards the boardwalk the phone rings. It’s my niece, Cory. I immediately think something happened. Nothing happened. Brother Frank wanted to say hello. Of course, being where I am there’s not a good signal so I can only hear half of what he’s saying which is repeating what I just said. I spoke to Elaine who told me that he was alright, a re-evaluation Monday, possibly discharged midweek.

I got off the phone with Saddle Brook and called Annemarie who knew all this already. I asked her to call Brian to tell him, explaining that I was at the beach and cellphones don’t work that well around those parts. It turned out Brian knew already having visited Frank the day before. I got off the phone and wandered onto the beach away from most everyone. I sat there and stared out into the ocean. After a couple hours of moving around, walking up and down the Boardwalk I decided to head home. Got a phone call from Julio who was sitting on the stoop out in front of our building. I stayed in.

Here’s some pics.

Saturday night. A little bit tired. Been busy today and dizzy as well. Got up around 8:00 which was quite nice. Slept really well too. Showered, had some coffee and then it was out for a haircut. I was lucky. Only had to wait about 3 minutes before Tony was available for me. I asked him if he saw the Sopranos and he said he doesn’t watch it since the one time he was watching it with his wife his good friend Joe Pantoliano was getting a blow job on screen and so after that, no Sopranos for Tony ever again.

Then I went and got the bagels and the papers and headed back home. Had a nice breakfast and read the papers. Then I did some laundry. Oh the glamor of it all. It was a beautiful day and as the clothes were drying I decided to go out for a walk. Once walking I texted Juan to see if he was alive. We had a tentative plan to go to Central Park today and I had a feeling he wasn’t going to be able to make it. It turned out he wasn’t. That was a disappointment but I got over it. Walked up to Burlington Coat Factory and bought myself some shirts as well as some ties and cuff links for Bill’s birthday in two weeks.

I know he doesn’t read this so I’m safe from him finding out. I’m also taking him to see Passing Strange at the Public theater. Susan and Lois from Farfetched recommended it when I saw them the other day. It also got a favorable review in the latest New Yorker. We’re going on the last night so that should be special. I heard from Annemarie before I left the apartment and also spoke with Brian as I was riding the bus into the tunnel. Everything seems fine though no one has heard anything so we’re going with ‘No News is Good News’.

Walked up to Central Park and just as I entered the park dark clouds appeared in the sky. I trudged onwards towards the rock where I can usually be found only to find a lot of construction fences were around most everything causing me to find an alternate route to the rock. I sat and listed to the first band, The Apples in Stereo. They were alright. Sounded like Mitch Easter sometimes. Television was headlining and it started to pour with lightening and thunder as accompaniment.

I was sheltered by the leaves of the trees, but rapidly losing interest in seeing Television. If someone else was there I probably would’ve have stayed but since I was solo I decided to wander through the park after the rain stopped. The rain chased a lot of people out of the park, which made it decidedly less crowded. I did see the bearded dude from TV on the Radio hanging out on the rock near me. But it wasn’t enough to get me to stay. Not even the first Robin that I’ve seen this year couldn’t do that even though it asked me to stay.

I walked down through the park to Sixth Avenue, smoking a Padron 5000. It was excellent and I stopped and watched two songs by a band called the Last Broadcast. They were pretty good, jazzy funky, poetic rap lyrics. I bought their three song ep and continued on my way to the bus terminal. I got home a little after 7:00, having been out for four hours. Not bad. Could not have done it without listening to Bob Marley all day on the iPod. Feeling Irie.

Here’s some pics.

The Last Broadcast