It’s Thursday, the penultimate day for my employment at Golden Staffing. It’s been a decent run and a bittersweet final week for me. They really don’t want to see me go, but I’m feeling like a fish in a bowl and I’ve outgrown my environment. I think they realize that. I bought some cupcakes to share with everyone in the office and when I gave President Naomi her cupcake there were tears in her eyes. I think it was because I was leaving not because she doesn’t care particularly for cupcakes. I told them that the cupcakes were my way of letting them know how sweet they are. Cue tears.

Last night I was pretty annoyed not at anything in particular but annoyed with everything in particular. I wrote some nasty stuff that never made it to the blog, self censoring me. It’s all for the best. Last time I did that, Juan was the only one who read what I wrote and told me it was rather mean, so I took it off the blog and wrote something entirely different. Last night was pretty much the same only I made the decision for I am the decider. Bill came home last night and watched Lost with me. I think he’s finally getting into the show and the show has been improving story wise. That Juliet is not to be trusted, obviously.

Work was pretty much mellow as I said. I surfed and chatted with an applicant from Saddle Brook NJ. She lives on Samson Street which is where the bog old book warehouse that I used to work in is. It’s no longer a book warehouse by the way. I told her it was my first job and occasionally I occasionally have dreams about being in the warehouse wandering around which is what I used to do mainly. Other than that the day was boring and I ate a lot of chocolate which definitely adding some zing to the day, and there was so much chocolate that there was no crashing, only more chocolate.

One thing that I like to do while surfing is look up the number one songs of a particular time. Today was 1974-75. I looked up the Best of My Love by the Eagles and found myself on a bus coming back from Old Sturbridge MA. For some reason that was a class trip and it was awfully far for a one day excursion. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by Elton John reminds of me of hanging out at the Parkway Lanes while my mother and brother bowled on Monday nights and I drank a lot of soda while hanging out with other siblings and children of bowlers.

Please Mister Postman by the Carpenters reminds me of going camping in the winter at Camp No Be Bosko somewhere in Northern New Jersey in January with the Boy Scouts. Sledding, many layers of clothes and Music Radio 77 WABC and Tommy Neidhardt. Have You Never Been Mellow? Have you ever tried? To find the comfort from inside you? Olivia Newton John, a philosopher for the ages? You decide! Lady Marmalade by LaBelle, which upset my father. It turns out that he knew what “voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)?” meant. Patti, Nona and Sarah in their space age outfits singing on Cher’s variety show. No wonder I’m gay. My formative years.

Rest in Peace Roscoe Lee Browne and Kurt Vonnegut.

Wednesday. Hump day. A day of writing. I’m a little bit annoyed right now and trying to work it out. I just wrote quite a bit of bitterness and don’t want to post it so I may wind up writing twice as much but you will only read half of it. Just a remembrance of past slights. Didn’t see it coming mind you, came up all of a sudden and would like it to dissipate before I see Bill again. Just the usual unscrewed toothpaste cap dilemma.

I need some ME time. How will I get it and when will I get it? I’m about to start a new job, a vertical rather than horizontal move so ME time is really just a concept at this point. I watched This American Life last night and I enjoyed more than I expected. That’s always a fun thing to happen. It was about a guy in Utah who does religious paintings and stages people as models so he can photograph them and then paint from the photo.

He spent a good deal of time looking for men with beards since he was working on a Jesus and the Apostles series. It turned out not to be so easy since there aren’t many bearded men in Utah since Mormons frown on beards. Magic underwear is ok though. I don’t know many Mormons if at all, I do know Bill’s pal, Brad from work is a Mormon but didn’t care to ask about his super under roos. I wonder if Super Brad still reads this blog. I know Bill doesn’t.

Time to get jazzy.

Hack, wheeze and I find myself saying to myself that I do still love Bill, but we’re in a state of suspended animation. He’s doing whatever he wants to do and that’s good I guess. I support him in his endeavors. We should take a trip somewhere. Or Not, I don’t know. I do know that he doesn’t read this blog anymore. Maybe Brad tells him. I did meet Brad once at a party for one of Bill’s coworkers and Brad totally avoided me. I could see the fear in his eyes. Ha ha.

On a lighter note, work was okay today. That’s where the day of writing comes in. I’ve been writing things down about what things I do in the office and so far I have over a thousand words on three pages. Jack, nice guy from IT read it and he said it was great. I’m hesitant to let President Naomi and Wally read it due to the fact that I’m sure they would suggest endless revisions. I think Naomi will be out on Friday. She really doesn’t want me to go, Wally chimes in everyday wishing I wouldn’t go and it’s starting to make me feel a bit guilty.

They’re good people but I’ve outgrown the position. Not just at Golden Staffing but overall. I’m tired of answering the phone, lying for people, having to basically ask to go to the bathroom. It’s on to the next level for me.

It’s a Mormon kind of day after all. I posted this about an hour ago and just minutes ago I opened up an email from the New Yorker inviting me to an advance screening about MORMONS. Seriously, Dude…WTF?