It’s Friday and I’m happy. No talking to proctological refugees today on the phone and I didn’t mind at all. Last night I watched Ugly Betty, 30 Rock, Scrubs and Earl, missed the Office since it was a repeat. It was a mellow evening, especially after having written over 1300 words last night. It was an accomplishment as well as being therapeutic. I went to sleep around 11:30 and slept ok, waking up at 4:00 then finally at 6:00. I woke up ok. Picked out my suit and tie for today last night since I asked if they had casual Fridays at the job and was told they didn’t.

I found out they actually did have casual Fridays at work so I was the only one in a suit and tie. Not that I minded, I do enjoy wearing a suit and tie after all. It was also a beautiful day so I didn’t have to wear a top coat. I strolled across town enjoying the morning and walked through Grand Central Station stopping by a Tie Shop that had very nice ties at very expensive prices. Some very nice braces too which were priced in triple figures. Out of my league and my price range. Grand Central was also in the process of setting up for Earth Day festivities.

Got to work and no one in at 8:05. I made coffee and turned on the lights and printers and copiers. Greg Stevens made it in, looking dapper. He heads to the Hamptons every Friday afternoon at 1:00 and was dressed for it. It was good to see that he wasn’t dead since there was a front page obituary on the New York Sun, stating that Greg Stevens had died. So that was reassuring to see Greg Stevens in the flesh even though his name has been changed to protect the relatively innocent, meaning me.

I was asked to hang two pictures in one of the conference room which should have been really easy since I had done it several times throughout the office this past week. I also had the experience of hanging pictures when I lived with Willie B. all those years in Weehawken. He was an artist and expert framer and there was always a lot of artwork needing to be hung throughout the apartment and hallway. This turned out to be quite the comedy of errors.

I had two nearly identical pictures and though I had to nail through plaster into cinder block, the first one went up without a hitch. The second went like a bitch. Hey, I just used that word because it rhymed. Sue me, it’s a Friday. I had a hammer and I swung it in the morning, but since the nails I was using couldn’t make it through the cinder block like the previous picture, I was relieved of swinging that hammer in the evening as well as all over the land. I went through about 20 nails which made me start to bite my nails. Not easy to do while hammering. Also trying to avoid the Jimmy Grant scenario.

Jimmy Grant was a kid in my neighborhood when I was growing up. This story actually happened before I achieved consciousness of life in general. Jimmy was hammering something and from what I heard he had swung the hammer above his head and the nail remover part became embedded in his skull. Of course he started screaming and crying and the only adults in the neighborhood were Jimmy Foglio and my mother who took him to the hospital. Every time I use a hammer I think of Jimmy Grant.

So I went out and bought nails at a hardware store in the neighborhood of Wanker Banker. I was tempted to see if anyone was around but decided against it. I went back to my office and started hammering. I bent about a dozen nails before I gave up. Some plaster fell to the floor too. I went back to the hardware store and bought more nails, and spackle for the wall. Eventually I found a large nail and decide to forgo the thing that is used to actually hang the picture and hung it on the nail itself. That large nail went through the cinder block easily. I hope it stays hung over the weekend. Interpret at will.