Last night Juan, Bill and I watched ‘The Stand’ a made for television movie, written by Stephen King. I read the book in 1981 and saw the movie when it was originally broadcast in the nineties. Still pretty good for a TV movie, eventually both Bill and Juan were taken in by the movie. I didn’t notice it when I first saw it, but even Bill and Juan noticed a lot of homoerotic shots throughout the movie. Very interesting and I simply don’t know how I might have missed it before. Bill didn’t make it to the end, he went to bed before the final hour.

It was a wet night, a major storm passing overhead. That continued to the morning, which made it difficult to wake up. It was a real drag, pouring rain outside, total darkness at 6:30 in the morning. Bill wound up sleeping in, deciding to stay home. That was jarring to say the least. I get accustomed to Bill stirring before I even get out of bed, and on a morning like today’s, I surely could’ve used his wake up call. But I persevered, trying to find in the darkness a suit to wear. I didn’t want to turn the lights on and wake Bill up. I found a nice navy pinstriped suit, braces and a tab collared French cuff shirt. I wore one of Bill’s neckties for luck as it was my fifth day at work.

Bill bought me a monthly bus pass the other day since money is a bit tight for me these days. I think he was inspired by Turk getting a monthly bus pass for Carla on Scrubs. I got to use it which is nice and since Bill bought it I was riding the bus for free. The bus filled up quite fast and by the time it left Hoboken it was mad packed. It pulled into the bus terminal and I strolled out into the rain listening to Rufus Wainwright’s Want One.

I got to the office and said good morning to my new coworkers and bosses. The president said hello, her lieutenant grunted. She’s Naomi, he’s Wally. Eventually my other coworkers came in all in various degrees of blue Monday feelings. The rain out a damper on most everyone’s mood. I tried to be as chipper as possible, as my plan to fit in is to kill them with kindness. As far as I’m concerned, John Ozed doesn’t exist in that office, except for the brief checking of email.

There was a report of a gas leak throughout Manhattan and parts of Hudson County NJ. No one had any idea what the gas may have been, but the shut down the Path train for a few hours because of it. I mentioned to Bill later in the day that it sounded uncannily like the beginning to The Stand. We shall see how this mysterious gas turns out. For those in other parts of the world, go to http://nytimes.com . It’s all there, I’m not making it up.

I also decided on a last ditch attempt to get my bonus from the Wolffmen by sending a guilt loaded email to the president of McMann and Tate. And it goes a little something like this:

Hi Lamisil,
I regret not being able to talk to you about my leaving McMann and Tate. I did my best but after almost nine months I was burnt out and terribly depressed, which even my therapist couldn’t help. I really didn’t have anyone to talk to at McMann and Tate regarding that and my scheduled meeting with Table Lamp, scheduled in October never materialized, which could have made a difference in the way things had turned out. It would’ve been nice to talk to SOMEONE about what was going on.

The abuse I had suffered under Felicia was no help either, from my fifth day at McMann and Tate to being told in June by Felicia to consider looking for a different job, I never really knew where I stood or what kind of performance I was doing, and believe me I did my best. At least the clients noticed and appreciated it. Then in December, I found a memo on my computer from January about how two people should have been hired to work the front desk in two shifts because one person (namely me) would get burnt out. So it seems the front desk situation is known of, but not taken care of. Which in my case could’ve made a world of difference.

I tried not to leave McMann and Tate in the lurch and attempted to take care of supplies and whatnot to cover until someone else came in. I’m glad McMann and Tate had a good year and I had hoped to at least get some recognition bonus wise, but I did the right thing and gave notice, which is more that a few former employees did during my time of employment, and in doing the right thing I lost out on any chance for a financial recognition for whatever contribution my work had achieved for the good of the company and the clients. I told Rachel Floor Vacuum and Lydia Penguin that if there are any questions about things in the office to call me. Obviously I am still willing to help out for the good of McMann and Tate I’m glad I left on a relatively good note and I wish you and your wife, as well as the staff at McMann and Tate a happy and healthy New Year.
Regards,
John

Hey, it’s just an attempt. I’ve got nothing to lose. Just trying to guilt trip and rich hippie narcoleptic into giving me what should be mine.

Sunday. Not as warm as yesterday but still warmer than it should be. 50 degrees or so. Last night Juan came over and he watched ‘Defending Your Life’ with Bill and I. I first saw that film a few weeks before my mother passed away and it gave me some sort of comfort when that awful Mother’s Day event happened. It’s still a really good movie, still gets quite a few laughs. It was also one of those situations when I watched it, I was seeing things I either had never seen before or forgot totally. A senior moment perhaps.

Bill went off to bed shortly thereafter and Juan and I watched a little bit of Saturday Night Live. It was a repeat with Alec Baldwin hosting, Christina Aguilera was the musical guest. Both were quite good, very funny. Juan was fading fast and left soon after the music, I headed to bed after that. I lay in bed wondering about the new job. I hate thinking about work on my weekends, but I suppose this would be exceptional since it is a new job. Soon enough I was wrapped in Bills arms headed to slumber land. It was still quite warm and we slept with the window open. In January.

According to Bill I was talking in my sleep and he found it cute, but couldn’t remember what it was that I was talking about. We both got up around 8:30 or so, he in the shower, me making coffee. Soon he was off to church and I went out to get bagels and the papers. Came home, had some eggs and watched some of the morning shows. I had rented from Netflix, ‘World Trade Center’ by Oliver Stone. I had it for a few weeks and kept putting it off to watch. Obviously it’s not a fun movie and whenever I suggested watching it to Juan, he quickly put the kibosh on it, which was quite understandable.

I put it in around 11:00 and was totally engrossed. My brother Frank recommended it a while ago and sure enough, he was right. There were moments where tears were streaming down my face. It’s well done, it has it flaws but they’re easily overlooked. Brought back some of the feelings from 5 years ago, which aren’t too far from the surface for me. I was going to save it so Bill could watch it, but I couldn’t go through watching it again.

I called up Frank afterwards and we talked about WTC, and talked about the Beatles in a totally unrelated conversation and I also told him about the situation with the new job. It was a good talk. Also spoke to Elaine who told me Corinne was in Hollywood, Florida, staying at a classmate’s grandmother’s house. Nice to get out of the area, kudos to her. Frank mentioned that the Annie Leibovitz documentary on PBS was really good and luckily it was on when I got off the phone with him.

I watched the last hour and was inspired enough to walk around Hoboken with my camera, smoking a Padron ala Weegee and taking pictures of anything that struck me as art. I’m going to try to post them in the pages listed on the right column so take a look tomorrow just in case there’s nothing there tonight.

Back to work tomorrow, so wish me luck. The dreaded day five. I just have to figure out my place in the office. At least there aren’t Felicia’s in the air.