Well today was a turn around of sorts. Went to bed early because I was tired from working at Farfetched and having part of two bottles of Ponseca with Harpy and Lois. Didn’t drink after that and ate dinner but around 10:45 I was exhausted. So I slept, Bill once again kissing me good bye as he headed off to work, me just laying there, drifting in and out of sleep until about 8:30. But of course the drawback is, no one is around. Juan was scheduled to come back tomorrow, Julio flies off to Denmark and Bill is wherever Bill wants to be.

I showered, had some coffee and went out for the papers and a bagel. Not many people out on the street, the rush hour had just about ended. I walked along Washington Street and found a text message from Renee back at McMann and Tate saying how she missed me. When I got home and checked my email there were a few other emails from Linda, and Lizzie Borden telling me basically the same thing. I knew I picked a good time to leave since today and tomorrow were promising to be hectic days and I didn’t want to have anything to do with it.

Amiable Alan also phoned but he was returning a phone call I made to him. Obviously Renee or Alan couldn’t talk in the office, but could outside on their cell phones. It’s nice to be missed. I also sent out a bunch of Christmas cards for family and friends, including Kay Benkovitch who lived across the street from my family when I was growing up. The holidays are fast approaching and I do have some last minute shopping for various persons in my life. That’s going to entail going into the city tomorrow so that should be fun.

Juan is back in town a day earlier and we’re going to hang out tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it. He isn’t as disappointed as he used to be when we first started hanging out and I suppose it’s a good thing. Bill has been asking about him lately, he’s become such a fixture in the apartment. I certainly enjoy his company and Bill does as well. On the music side of things, I played a remix cd of holiday songs by Bing Crosby and Dean Martin and Andy Williams reconfigured by contemporary DJ’s like Dan the Automator.

Harpy made it for me from the Farfetched holiday collection. I played Scritti Politti ‘White Bread Black Beer’ which is long but way worth the payout. That is definitely my favorite release of 2006, as well as best show. That is unless Brazilian Girls kick ass next week at Irving Plaza. Going with Juan. I’m taking him to the show for his Christmas present. He’d better be surprised.

I do know that I’m doing the right thing by taking these two weeks off between jobs to clear my head from McMann and Tate and start anew in the New Year.

Ahh Monday. Sleeping in, is a nice way to wake up. Bill leaned over and kissed me as he was off to work all dapper with his fedora. I didn’t have anything to do really. I’m off for the next two weeks until I start the new job on January 2. Julio’s working until Wednesday, Juan’s at school until Wednesday, and Bill is doing whatever it is that Bill does probably way past Wednesday until the end of my life which could be and should be a long time. Actually all I have to do is work at Farfetched on Saturday. I worked today and it was slow going but didn’t pick up until the sparkling wine hit the liver.

It was ok but I wish I had something to do. Over the weekend I was able to check my email at McMann and Tate and I thanked most everyone, no, actually I thanked EVERYONE for the party via the external mail website that I was excluded from today. So it’s official I am out. Which is a mixed bag. On one hand I’m happy but on the other I am just weirded out by the whole situation. You know the self doubt. Did I do the right thing? What am I moving into?

I seem to be feeling it more than I did when I left Wanker Banker. But this is life and you leave, you move on and chances are you will never see any of these people again. I sort of got the picture after leaving the holiday party and not being invited to any of the after parties. That happened in September during their idiotic ‘Back to School’ party. These people are so insular that I should have known better. But still I held out hope. I figured Will Heath would’ve invited me to his flat for after hour drinks since we seemed to be friends, but a good host wouldn’t invite someone that makes people uncomfortable.

I make people uncomfortable, at least in that’s in the office. It may be a fair trade off since they made me uncomfortable for about nine months, a most uneasy gestation. I did send some pictures that I had taken at the party and only one person that I sent them to responded, telling me how they loved me. Oh that Renee. Everyone else seemed to have fallen by the wayside, including Linda who despite her telling me that if I was unhappy I should go since she would do the same if only she didn’t have those pesky Visa problems.

I think she was talking about traveling papers and not her credit card but who knows? Scatterbrained is as scatterbrained does. But she is still sweet and I would always say hello and buy her a drink at the pub should our paths ever cross again.

Farfetched was fine, just Lois, Harry and myself. I asked for a reprieve from the holiday music and was able to play Black Bread, White Beer by Scritti Politti which seems to fit almost any occasion that it is played during. Two bottles of Ponseca and I was looped. We should’ve started drinking earlier. Like around 12:30PM.