Monthly Archives: March 2006

Poses

Last night was a blur. Apparently Bill came home around 2AM and saw Julio and I just chatting away. Total time displacemnet. A good time. Bill went to sleep around 2:30 and I guess Julio left at around 3AM. Talked about writing a script. Just need an idea to write about. I do remember saying that I would write the dialogue and he could write the direction. It could be cool, but we did try this once before and it ended badly. So once more into the breach I suppose. But then again it was drunk talk.

I slept the sleep of the drunken dead. Arising to rehydrate and take a gel cap. Had to get out of bed due to the wonderful bright sunny day. Bill got the bagels and the papers so I staved off the outside world, full of people. I didn’t want the beautiful day go to waste, mind you. I mustered enough energy to take a walk with Bill who was going off to drive his bus.

On the way I spotted a face from my past from McSwells. Midday. Nice guy partied quite a bit with him back in the day. He asked me if I was still working it, and I didn’t know what that meant. ‘You know, people, places and things’ I said sure. Then he was off to get a six pack for he was doing work on someone’s apartment. Midday really didn’t acknowledge Bill, who found Midday to be dismissive. Then again, I was someone he never expected to see at 3:00 in the afternoon.

Here I was on Washington Street, 12 hours after I drunkenly crashed into sleep and still a bit buzzed form the Absolut. I maintained composure, or at least I’d like to think it did. At least I didn’t mention Midday wearing spandex back in the day and sporting what could have been a grapefruit and banana combination. But of course, Midday is as straight as six o’clock.

I picked up dry cleaning for Bill and myself, almost crumbling underneath the sheer weight of clothes. Then I made it home and slept for about two hours. That was quite necessary and paid off.

Now Juan is here. We just watched ’24 Hour Party People’. It was my umpteenth time, and Juan’s first. He loved it. Most all of my friends do. I remember when it was in the theatres, I went on a winter afternoon with Pedro and Bill. Neither one knew of the story of Factory Records. I sure did. They both really loved it. It appeals to music geeks like myself and people that just want to be entertained by a good flick. It’s certainly a left of center film. I recommend it.

Now Juan and I are watching the Rufus Wainwright DVD. He is also into Rufus despite his earlier misgivings. Rufus is another subject where most of my friends that hear him, usually start to really dig him. He really grows on you.

So just a mellow night, a little hair of the dog. Cheers.

Damaged Goods

Ok. Somehow I made it to work. Found a substitute for Gauloises which are officially over and me being so stressed lately I’m not ready and I’m not in any mood to throw away any crutches I might have. So don’t ask. Man oh man oh man. I walked to work after getting off the bus into the city not really caring if I was going to be late. For me to not care if I’m going to be late is a big deal. I hate being late (which shows a difference between me and brother Frank), and for me not to care woo hoo! A big deal indeed.

Found a reasonable substitute for my dearly departed Gauloises, a Danish tobacco with a cartoon of the Prophet whosawhatchamacallit on it. No, not really, but its Danish and from Virginia, Mac Baren. Almost as dark as Gauloises, better than Bali Shag and way better than Drum or American Spirit. With this frame of mind, under stress, under attack I really don’t care. Mac Baren they call it in Copenhagen.

I never asked for your crutch so don’t ask for mine. Dylan Fourth Time Around. I felt so beaten up by the day that I could only find solace in the Beatles and it was so far gone it was the first three Beatle records. Primitive and happy and looking so cool in their suits. In times like this I turn to the Fabs for comfort.

And today was like that. I actually left work at lunch and had a cigar and listened to Please Please Me, their first record. I needed the innocence of that first record. Happier time for me, good memories. A security blanket if you will. I was leaning hard on the Fabs, that’s how my day was.

Today being Friday, for most a good day, for me not so good. I tried I really tried but at lunchtime which was a refuge from the reality of the hell I was in, I had an epiphany. I realized, why should I be fighting to stay at a firm that treats me like shit? Very dysfunctional.

Much like an abused wife who puts up with the bullshit because she has nowhere else to go. I have been looking for somewhere else to go unsuccessfully. Fellow blogger Ron has been somewhat helpful, suggesting that I get an attorney. He’s been through harassment claims before. Though I don’t really know him ZI take his suggestions under consideration.

Now I am drunk. Julio has been here egging me on. Discussing ideas stories, he has some very good ideas about certain things going in inside and outside my mind right now and a few things I will take under consideration. It’s all good as Julio comments on how things will turn out throughout the night. El Diablo he is.

“How you like me now” he says and I just add and try to correct him. It’s a mess yet a happy mess.