Routine

I am guessing it’s Monday, the return to work day. I am still haunted by my dismissal. I have no choice but to get over it but it is there, my bitterness and depression usually when I first get out of bed. I had a routine and it’s the loss of routine that weighs heavily on my mind.

Mike came over last night and that was fun. TV, beers and internet shenanigans. It was too late for him to make the train home plus he needed to be at work in the morning. His job is about 20 minutes away on foot, so he crashed over here. It was pleasant enough.

And once he was gone in the morning I was left to my own devices which take a dark turn since it was Monday and I ain’t got no job. Bill was on his way home so for a few hours it was just me being despondent. I didn’t leave the apartment at all so that throws my step count away. I do those things, counting steps and trying to get interesting patterns on the map showing my stepping.

I finished the leftovers from Thanksgiving, they weren’t going to last much longer. Tomorrow I will go outside. It’s been so cold though and I know it will be even worse in just a few weeks. Mike asked me if I would go with him to see the Rockefeller Christmas Tree and I said yes, but it would be between the holidays. Already I am wearing longjohns in my mind’s eye looking at the tree and avoiding tourists.

Bill is napping. I have to wake him up in about 20 minutes. Then the two of us will fall into our routine of Jeopardy and whatever else we had recorded. I recorded some Monty Python and I watched some of Life of Brian on BBC America.

I hadn’t seen it in a while and having read the first diaries from Michael Palin which included the troubles filming and the troubles afterward I was looking at it with slightly fresh eyes. The Python I recorded was Holy Grail, Life of Brian, and Meaning of Life along with some live appearances from whichever Pythons were still alive, as there were 6 of them and now there are 4.

I scanned the online job market today and came up short once again. I’d hate to think I shot my wad the first time up at bat with the only interview so far. I left walking on air but gravity always wins. The job is still posted on their website which of course leads me to believe that no one knows how to use a buffer on marble floors.

No one is up to snuff and it is definitely a top-shelf company. They can afford to be choosy. The former NYPD guy who interviewed me seems satisfied with the interview, but in hindsight he may have been playing the role of ‘Good Cop’.

Still, if they decided to call me back, who am I to deny their request?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I asked Gemini what it thought and it said:
“It sounds like you’re going through a tough time right now. Losing a job can be incredibly stressful, and it’s understandable to feel down and frustrated.

Here are a few things that might help:

Focus on the positives: While it’s okay to feel down, try to focus on the positive aspects of your life, like your friendship with Mike and Bill.
Maintain a routine: Even though you don’t have a job, try to establish a daily routine. This can help you stay organized and productive.
Take care of yourself: Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and exercising regularly. These things can help improve your mood and overall well-being.
Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about how you’re feeling. Sometimes, talking to someone can help you feel less alone.
Stay positive: Keep your spirits up by doing things you enjoy, like watching movies, reading books, or spending time with loved ones.
Remember, this is just a temporary setback. With time and effort, you’ll find a new job and get back on track. Stay strong!”

This is the Gemini version. Half the word count and none of my personality
Monday morning, the start of another workweek. But for me, it’s a stark reminder of my recent dismissal. The bitterness lingers, a persistent cloud that often overshadows my mornings. I miss the routine, the structure, the sense of purpose it provided.
Last night, Mike came over. We relaxed, watched TV, and shared a few laughs. It was a much-needed distraction. He stayed over as it was too late for the train and his job is a short walk away.
Now, as the quiet settles in, the weight of unemployment presses down. Bill is napping, and I’m left to my own thoughts, which tend to spiral into a dark abyss. I haven’t left the apartment all day. The thought of facing the cold and the world beyond my door seems daunting.
I finished the Thanksgiving leftovers yesterday. Tomorrow, I’ll force myself outside. Mike invited me to see the Rockefeller Christmas Tree, a welcome distraction. But even that seems distant, a future event clouded by uncertainty.
I’ve been rewatching Monty Python. Life of Brian, in particular, feels poignant now. The world, it seems, is full of idiots. I wonder if I’m one of them.
I’ve scoured job boards, but to no avail. That one interview, the one that filled me with hope, now feels like a distant memory. Perhaps I wasn’t the right fit, or maybe they simply haven’t made a decision.
For now, I’ll cling to small comforts. A good book, a warm drink, and the company of friends. I’ll keep searching, keep hoping. But in the meantime, I’ll try to find solace in the mundane.

One thought on “Routine

  1. johnozed Post author

    A Monday Blues by Gemini AI

    Monday morning, the start of a new week, and a heavy weight settles on my shoulders. The sting of my recent dismissal still lingers, disrupting my usual routine and casting a shadow over my days.

    Yesterday, Mike’s visit provided a much-needed distraction. We spent the evening relaxing, watching TV, and enjoying each other’s company. His early departure, however, left me alone with my thoughts, which quickly turned somber.

    Today, I’m determined to break the cycle of isolation. Despite the cold weather, I plan to venture outside. I’m looking forward to our upcoming trip to see the Rockefeller Christmas Tree, though the thought of braving the crowds fills me with a certain dread.

    As for the job search, it remains a frustrating endeavor. I’ve scoured countless job postings, only to be met with disappointment. The memory of my recent interview, while promising at first, now seems like a distant dream.

    While I continue to hope for a positive outcome, I’m also learning to accept the uncertainty of the future. For now, I’ll focus on the present, cherishing the simple pleasures and the company of loved ones.

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