Tag Archives: The Ludes

I Do It

It’s a dismal day mostly. Rain on and off. On when I want to go outside for lunch, off when I come back in. Oh the gods, they laugh at my foibles today. yesterday was certainly something else. It was a rough day, what with coming back from two days off.

The light at the end of the tunnel was the fact that I would be seeing Bill. That kernel of hope is what got me home. Unfortunately I received an email from what used to be an old friend, now turned into someone that I don’t know anymore and actually don’t care to know.

She was an old friend, we once had a lot of things in common. Or maybe we didn’t. We both made each other laugh and were once inseparable until I listened to some friends who wanted to know who this girl was- always following me. I regretted telling her over the phone that we needed a break from each other and tried to make amends but the damage had been done.

We stayed friends, but not as close as we once were. Time moved on she went her way and I went my way, our paths would cross every now and then. She moved away and then came back. The guy she was seeing before she moved, moved on and settled down with a woman who treated him better than he was treated before with her. That’s what I’ve been told.

And when the friend came back she was a wreck. I remember specifically a phone call with her in hysterics, seemingly unable to get past the fact that this guy moved on. I tried some tough love, telling her that I would get in touch with this guy and tell him to knock it off, to stop ‘leading her on’. She pleaded for me not to do that, I guess not realizing that I wasn’t about to do such a thing.

I only wanted to help my friend get over this and get on with her life. Her roommate couldn’t take it though and kicked her out of the apartment which was a somewhat shitty thing to do. At least that’s how I heard it happened.

Time moved on as it does and we connected a few times, at parties she had, at parties we both attended. She was even seeing a guy that might have been seeing another friend of mine, which put me in quite an awkward position.

A week or so ago, I found a comic book she drew which was quite brilliant, so brilliant that I considered putting it in a frame and hanging it on a wall. I loved this friend dearly. I thought she was one of the brightest and funniest people I knew.

In May 2009 I went to see some friends play a show on Bleecker Street with Bill and after the show we were hanging on the sidewalk talking with other friends. One particular person, a guy with a drinking problem walked up, and asked where my friend was.

Since the roommate who kicked her out was in the band, the friend definitely would not be there. I explained the situation on the fly, about the friend being so hung up on a guy she treated badly and now she was back, she wanted him in her life, but he wised up and moved on. And that the friend who kicked the other friend out of the apartment was playing, she would not be there.

Two and a half years later, the person who asked inquired about that chat on the sidewalk. I could barely remember but this guy with a drinking problem that seems to go on and off at random moments claims that I said that the friend was a stalker.

I didn’t recall and thought the matter had been cleared up, but no, this guy with the drinking problem is now in love with the friend and told her his take on the sidewalk chat, trying to ‘protect’ her from people like me. I may have said it but I do have my doubts, as well as doubts about the guy with the drinking problem and his method of recall.

The friend sent me an email, asking me about the chat from nearly two and a half fucking years ago. I explained once again, and she was willing to toss out 28 years of friendship stating that the guy with the drinking problem does not lie. I did not say that the guy with the drinking problem lied, but could very well be mistaken.

This guy with the drinking problem who calls me up last year telling me to avoid some chick from the Midwest that he met online. The guy with the drinking problem who posted photos of him with the Midwest chick, of the two of them playing with knives, called me up and told me to watch out for the Midwest chick, she was crazy, her ex-husband, her mother all trying to have her committed.

Out of a misguided sense of loyalty, I listened to the guy with the drinking problem and ignored the Midwestern chick. A week later the guy with the drinking problem was back with the Midwest chick. That’s when I started to think the guy with the drinking problem was more fucked up than I had thought.

Still I liked him somewhat. When the Midwest chick hooked up with yet another mutual friend online, the guy with the drinking problem did his best to convince his friends to not have anything to do with her, like he had done so many times before. How many times can a guy with a drinking problem cry ‘wolf’?

No time for a guy with a drinking problem who has the clarity of sobriety from two and a half years, despite falling off the wagon, drunk and getting turned away from detox programs in the meantime, no time for him and his current companion my now former friend.

I’m in good company though, since a lot of the people the now former friend has dropped are my friends as well and are remarkably baggage free. We have meetings at luggage carousels in airports with alcohol provided by bodegas in the heights at special midnight prices.

The guy with the drinking problem says I should apologize to the now former friend as well as himself, the guy with the drinking problem. I have better things to do with my time, things to do with the people I love. People who depend on me as I depend on them.

And I also have the love of my life, my spouse, my husband- Bill.

All We Ask

Let’s see, just got home and I turned on the news. One of the items was about a statue for Ronald Reagan that was unveiled in the Capitol building. A brilliant idea. That the fact that the current economic situation is directly because of his policies of deregulation should be of no consequence.

All the Republicants gathered around weepy Nancy, all sporting wood from the illusion that those glory days of the 1980’s will return. It ain’t gonna happen wankers.

Today the nation is too busy trying to fix things that were caused by his dislike of the Keynesian methods that got this country on it’s feet after the banking collapse that caused the great depression.

But then again a bronze statue the color of shit is a perfect match. I wonder if it gives off the smell of bull shit. I certainly do not miss that Gipper.

It’s Wednesday which means work wise it’s Thursday. For me at least.

I’m a bit excited that it’s now official that Paul McCartney will be playing CitiField and tickets will be on sale Monday, June 15. Hopefully they won’t be too expensive. I plan on taking Bill for his birthday.

Not that Bill is a big McCartney fan, or even a big fan of the Beatles. I just think it would be a very fun thing to do. I think he would like it. He’s never been to a big rock show and Macca always delivers.

Plus since it’s near where the Fabs played Shea Stadium it has an extra emotional resonance. It would be cool if my siblings and their spouses could make it and I really hope they can get it together.

I wasn’t able to make it to what could be the Ludes final performance at the Grain and the Grape in the East Village last night.

I was too busy being surrounded by good looking men in suits who also thought I was a good looking man in a suit. I think it worked out nicely.

I would have liked to have done both but that was out of the question. Gone are the days of me trekking across town from one event to another. For me it takes considerable effort just to make it to one event.

If it’s in the city and I am at home in Hoboken then it’s akin to moving mountains.

I’m sure the show went well. When I saw the Ludes at Kenny’s Castaways they had a good crowd and their performance was sincere and heartfelt. I wouldn’t expect anything different last night.

I did get a nice email from Tim Stout who organized what could be the last Suit Night at G Lounge. Tim thanked me for showing up and said I looked sharp. For me I was a Four in Hand knot surrounded by a room consisting almost entirely of Full Windsors.

But to get a compliment from such a sharp gentleman as Tim was high praise enough for me. And to meet some fellows that I had chatted with a few years ago online was a surprising touch. I’m certainly glad I wasn’t rude to them then. I asked and they said I wasn’t.

No rude boy me.

I was glad to have made it home last night to catch the season finale of Lawn Hors d’oeuvre SUV with Bill. Very good episode even though I figured it out midway through.

And one last bit of good news from the New York Times:
New Hampshire’s governor, John Lynch, has signed legislation
that makes the state the sixth to allow same-sex marriage.

The law will take effect in January. New Hampshire joins
Massachusetts, Connecticut, Maine, Vermont and Iowa in
recognizing same-sex marriages.

Live Free or Die!

Close To Me

Yes, it’s Thursday again. Last night was a fun time with Bill. We went over to the city to see Pre, De, Quay & Inter aka The Ludes. We got there in the middle of the first Carpenters cover, Close to You.

It sounded great, Donna singing and playing drums, Lois on back up vocals and tambourine, Dave on Bass and John on guitar.

John and Donna’s sons were there, Jasper and Henry. Apparently there is one more show scheduled in June at an East Village venue. I couldn’t recall the last time at Kenny’s Castaway’s but I do know that it was probably in the 1980’s.

A slew of Carpenters songs came by, Superstar, Rainy Days & Mondays, Top of the World among them.

I grew up on these songs. I love them dearly. They finished the set with Sing which everyone sang along to. Then for an encore they did some King Crimson song which I didn’t know since there is only one King Crimson records I liked, Discipline.

That’s the one where they sounded like Talking Heads. The last song was a dodgy cover of Rock & Me by the Steve Miller Band, another song I grew up with.

AM radio! Whatever happened to it?

It was good to see Scott Harbison and Sheilah Scully. We all chatted on the sidewalk outside of Kenny’s while Bill and I made sure no one ripped off the car with the band’s equipment in it.

There were also a few of John’s students lingering about, seemingly surprised that their language professor was an ace guitarist. Bill and I walked over to 9th Street and caught the Path train home, in a car with no air conditioning.

It was surprising that the Village was so dead, except for tourists on Bleecker Street. 8th Street was totally deserted, most of the stores shuttered for the night, except for the head shops and Gray’s Papaya.

I was telling Bill how much I’m enjoying the Brian Eno biography. We share a similar touchstone in John Cage, specifically Cage’s book, Silence.

My former roommate Jimmy Lee gave me a copy years ago and I have to say it changed my life somewhat, or at least made me realize that I wasn’t crazy, you can see ‘art’ everywhere.

Of course, back then a lot of hashish helped, but still to this day I can look at the world around me and if I’m in the right frame of mind I see art.

It’s also a way of thinking from Marcel Duchamp. I explained to Bill John Cage’s most famous composition, 4’33. The one that either people enjoy or are totally infuriated by.

The pianist opens the lid over the keys and for 4 minutes and 33 seconds, the piece comes alive. The environment is the composition. Someone coughs and it’s part of the piece.

Someone yells, ‘This is a crock of shit’ and that too is part of the composition. I love it.

Work was weird again. I think I make progress and then something happens and I feel it turns into 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. I just have to hang in there.

Since my payroll hasn’t been set up yet there’s also a chance that I won’t get paid tomorrow, which is payday. I can only hope that Vivek will cut me a ‘live’ check until my direct deposit comes through.

On a side note, I had a feeling that 2 married people that work in my office were being a bit flirty with each other. Today, both of them were out.

I can only wonder if the ‘hotel no tell’ they checked into had a movie box like the ones I’m going to be working on.

And here’s a picture of some band hired to play outside the Seagram’s Building. The Ludes had a better turn out, but then again it wasn’t drizzly inside of Kenny’s Castaways.


And The Ludes didn’t play ‘Frankenstein’.

Forgetful Heart

So here I am again, this time it’s Tuesday. Oh, I neglected to mention that I wrote yesterday’s entry using Google Docs. As I am today. I usually use Open Office but it was annoying me. This is quite user friendly which is why I using again today. I’m still at work.

Going to a wake tonight in Manhasset, Long Island. A former co-worker’s father passed away and since the co-worker was a nice person I thought I would show my face. I’m meeting up with 2 other former co-workers, Robert and Gazi.

I’m meeting Gazi in front of the library then heading into the subway to meet Robert where we will ride to Gazi’s house in Queens and then drive to Manhasset. So that is all out of the ordinary.

Last night was nothing special again. Wound up alternating between listening to music and watching TV.

Today is the dreaded May 12. A foul day for me and my siblings. In 1991 May 12 was Mother’s Day which turned into the worst day of my life. Or one of them at least. Since I wrote about it previously on May 12, 2006 there’s no need to go and write about that sadness again, at least not today.

Work has been weird today, but what else is new? Vivek was in this morning and asked me if I was going to be able to work with him on his latest project. Of course I said yes. I mentioned that despite a few stumbling blocks once they’re out of the way I could only see clear sailing.

I think I have the gift of telling people what they want to hear. He was somewhat subdued but seemed to appreciate what I was saying. But there is always this anxiety that invades my consciousness throughout the day. It usually happens when I’m out of the office running an errand or something.

Today I had to deposit some dosh for Vivek and as I walked to the bank it struck me. Just the uncertainty in my employment. My sister Annemarie nailed it before I even recognized it. Working in what used to be a financial firm that is teetering on the brink of disaster is freaking me out in moments where my mind is unoccupied.

On the way to the bank there was a Salsa band playing and that certainly took my mind off my woes. I’m a sucker for a trombone.

I’ve done all I can do for the day here in the office and now it seems I’m merely killing time until 5:15 when I will leave, light up a cigar and wander over to the Public Library on Fifth Avenue and meet up with Gazi. I haven’t seen him in a few years so that should be a hoot, if only the circumstances where more entertaining than going to a wake.

I’m just glad to be writing this now rather than trying to write it later. I hope to get home at a decent hour.

Tomorrow I’m going to see the Ludes at Kenny’s Castaways on Bleecker Street. The Ludes are John and Donna Hamilton and Dave from Tiny Lights with Lois DiLivio performing a tribute to the Carpenters. It’s a free show so if you find yourself on Bleecker Street around 9:00PM, stop by.

It’s also a farewell for John Hamilton who is leaving NYU to teach at Harvard. I suppose I’ll be writing early tomorrow as well since it makes sense to stay in the city, rather than head home and then back into the city again.

Plus they do want me to stay late here at work so if I stay until 8:00 that should make them somewhat happy.

Now here’s some Salsa!