Tag Archives: Hoboken bibliothèque

Standing Still

I am starting to be convinced that people in Hoboken say at least once a week, ‘I’d know them if I saw them’. It happened at the bibliothèque this afternoon and I know I say it often. It’s a small town, Hoboken and you see the same people over and over again and usually by the time you might be introduced to someone after a few years it gets awkward. And if you’re talking to someone about someone else, that is when the line ‘I’d know them if I see them’ comes into play.

It is a bright and sunny and warm day finally. Been out and about. No sign of Juan but Bill has been around. Didn’t do much except some grocery shopping and a stop at the bibliothèque. Tonight it’s work at Maxwell’s. My old pal, Rand is holding a lecture at the bibliothèque but since I have to work, I can’t go. I think it was scheduled for last year, a lecture about the famed comic book artist Jack Kirby, but was postponed because of the storm. Or maybe it was scheduled for earlier this year and postponed because of a snowstorm. I posted a flyer at Maxwell’s, hoping to get more people to attend.

I am still sending out resumes but not at the frequency that I used to send them out. It’s coming up on a year since I was let go from the cigar shack and being told constantly by employers and agencies that you’re not good enough can wear one’s spirit down. I’m still doing it though, a steadier job would be ideal. Until then I keep puttering along doing what I can.

Now it’s the anxiety of going back to work tonight. I really haven’t had much with regards to working at Maxwell’s but it’s been a few days since I last worked there so here it comes again. I’ve eaten and now I am killing time, enjoying a cigar before heading out. I just checked the website, no bands are playing so that means it will probably be a slow night and instead of working until midnight I will likely be out of there by 11:00.

Rand and Lisa stopped by with a friend and I sat them at a good table. Didn’t get much of a chance to talk to them but Rand’s lecture at the bibliothèque went well with about 40 people attending. I worked with Chloe and Jess and Rob was behind the bar. There were one or two schmucks (being kind here) and I was their first point of contact. One was a young man who was in a hurry and hurriedly said that he was in a hurry. I mentioned that it was obvious he was in a hurry and somehow he took some offense to that. Then he stood next to a speaker playing loud music and talked on his phone.

Towards the end, a squeaky wheel came in with three younger wheels. The squeaky wheel asked if they could sit at a table and drink and I said that they couldn’t. Then the squeaky wheel said they were going to eat and who was I to deny them a seat when the restaurant was nearly empty. Why the squeaky wheel said she had been coming to Maxwell’s for 30 years and never was denied a table. I mentioned that I worked there 30 years ago to which she stated her doubts since she had never seen me before.

She had been coming in with her kids for so long and doubted that I had worked there then. I know I had never seen her before, all nouveau riche with a voice that was the equivalent of nails on chalk board. That voice would have been remembered what with dogs cowering due to the shrillness. The timing couldn’t have been better since the squeaky wheel party came in just minutes before I left for the night.
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Happy Go Lucky Me

I Still Believe- Jeremy Camp

And now it’s Tuesday, slightly better than yesterday. The sun did come out and I walked around Hoboken again. A trip to the bibliothèque to return DVD’s which were unwatched. The Fighter and Everything Must Go. Just wasn’t in the mood. I also returned the soundtrack to Searching for Sugar Man which I did give a listen to since I enjoyed the documentary so much. Now Sandy Denny is asking ‘Who Knows Where the Time Goes’. I just made dinner, but haven’t cooked it yet. I made the ingredients, now I just have to put them all together in a pot and heat it up.

Writing on an empty stomach, (well nearly empty since I did have some salad a little while ago) is not as hazardous as going food shopping on an empty stomach. It could be worse somehow I suppose. Today was filled with more laundry and some more cleaning. Bill hasn’t noticed yet. We spoke earlier and as usual he asked what I was going to do today. Laundry, resume emailing and some more cleaning was my reply. I mentioned that he hadn’t noticed the cleaning and it’s no big deal, since it’s not a noticeable thing. Just getting things done slowly but surely.

I also heard from Rand today. We’ve been chatting via email and text and last week we even spoke face to face as he was returning from an eye doctor appointment. He wears glasses all the time now I think, just one of the perks of getting older. I’ve been picking his brain for some ideas and I think we came up with one that ties into something we’ve been talking about for years. I already have an idea on what to do with it already and need to check with certain people about it. One of them might be a reader of this here blog.

I am listening to a playlist that I made during my cigar shack days, mainly songs from back in the day, my day. Pretenders, Nick Lowe and now Big Audio Dynamite with their words of encouragement which is actually helping. Thanks Mick Jones, you’re a prince. This is going to be entry 2,482. I’ve been writing this since October 2005 and I have got to do something with this since they’re not exactly knocking on my door to find out more about me. That’s where Rand comes in. Him and his ideas.

Now the sun has gone behind some clouds which look laden with snow. There might be more snow tomorrow, at least that is what the weather report is stating. The European weather has been more accurate with regards to the east coast weather here, they’re the ones who accurately forecast last weekend’s snow storm. I just posted a map on Facebook from FEMA regarding Hoboken. 79% of Hoboken is in a flood zone. That includes here where Bill and I live.

And the rogue police officer is reportedly holed up in a cabin in Big Bear, CA. I doubt he will make it out alive and brought to trial.
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The Weight

I Stand Corrected

Yes I am listening to My Bloody Valentine right now. I just had an early supper since I skipped lunch and my spirits were flagging somewhat. They seem revitalized now so hopefully that will last. It’s been a cold and snowy day and a visit to the bibliothèque was in order since there were some things that should have been returned yesterday but weren’t. DVD’s you see and the late fine is not cheap. Not too expensive either but a considerable amount more than the fee charged when a book is overdue. And while there I was chatting with the staff.

They are very excited by the fact that the other supermarket will be opening in a matter of days, but also saying they won’t go the first day since they expected it to be a madhouse. I can’t say I will stay away on day one, there is a matter of curiosity and wanting to see what was done and what has been changed. And of course I heard about the trouble one of the women is having with her 14 year old son, such trouble and being unruly, she is at her wit’s end. She also said she wished I worked there but they aren’t hiring full timers so I am out.

Resumes have gone out once again today which was leaving me with a feeling of something resembling hope. Whether or not there will be a reply is not up to me. Just looking for something behind the scenes, support staff, things like that is what I am after. The day has been edged with the blues a bit, just from looking backwards. It started last night once Bill went to bed and I was alone with my thoughts. And then there is the tumult of thoughts after the lights go out and before I drift off to sleep.

Last night Bill and I watched My Left Foot. Bill and I watched it once before but he thinks he fell asleep before it ended so he didn’t remember the car chase and the shootout with Christy Brown and his family. It certainly wasn’t as bloody as I remembered. But seriously, looking up Christy Brown in Wikipedia, the movie ended with a Hollywood ending. According to what I read, the nurse named Mary was not that nice and may have abused Christy Brown physically after they had gotten married.

After that we started to watch a documentary on Public Television which had Bill’s attention but reality ticked away on his wrist and he needed to go to bed. Of course once he went to bed things got really interesting. They were talking about Latino programming in New York City for WNET and I was smiling quite a bit when they were talking about the Electric Company. The Electric Company was after my time, but I still remembered it and got a kick watching Rita Moreno and Morgan Freeman doing their educational skits in the 1970’s.

Bill is on his way home now and I am looking forward to seeing him once again. I get into so much trouble when he’s not around. Bill did say while watching My Left Foot last night that he didn’t mind watching it again with me and that he enjoys the movies that I pick out that he should see to help him with his thespian ways. Not much else to report on this end. Cold, snow and things like that are what is going on outside, but since I am presently inside I am not paying any attention to it at all.
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Howling dog in the window

Howling dog in the window


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How do you keep that robe so white?

How do you keep that robe so white?


I Should Have Known It

Today is just an ugly day. It started out cold with snow, then cold with damp and now cold with rain. I was outside exactly one time, no need to go out again. IT’s been an antsy day, watching the laundry dry on the racks, not letting it pile up into a mountain, but instead having a little hill instead, which was much easier to manage. And the weather suits my state of mind. All my outdoor activities were a trip to the bibliothèque, to the dry cleaners to drop off hangers and the supermarket where people were generally inconsiderate and vacant. I did run into people I know, which was good.

It was the times when no one was around that I found myself muttering under my breath as I walked the streets. No more texts from Shlomo and his gang of cigar store Zionists. It was nice of Israel to give me that can of kerosene and a box of wooden matches that night at the bridge. The bibliothèque was quite a shelter for those coming in from the rain and snow and cold. From there it was to drop off the coat hangers and then to the supermarket which with each passing day gets more annoyingly mismanaged.

Last night Bill came home after spending the day with his mother. She’s not doing so well and Bill tries to go see her every chance he gets. Since he only drove the bus on Friday, he was free on Saturday and Sunday. Saturday we watched Lincoln and Sunday he watched his mother. I was out and about for a little while yesterday but mainly stayed indoors. Bill came home in time to watch an awards program that he voted in and of course every time someone he voted for won, a cheerful yell was heard in the apartment.

He went to bed soon after that, around 10:00 and I of course stayed up watching the news before I too went to bed. Slept soundly I think and woke up with anxiousness in my mind. With each passing minute the anxiety made itself known and that is why muttering under my breath when outside seemed to help, and I was able to control it when talking to friends that I saw. It was those moments alone when the butterflies in my stomach made their presence known in my gut and in my mind which I sometimes confuse.

I’m sure everything will be alright, can’t do nothing about the past and tomorrow isn’t here yet and I am sure there are things I can better fill the present with than anxiety. Bill just came home and I can focus on him instead. I have Kindle on my tablet and finished reading Diane Keaton’s memoir, titled Then Again. It’s about Diane Keaton and it’s also about her mother, going through her mother’s papers and writing after she had passed away. It was a good read and if you like Diane Keaton you will probably like it a lot.

I did use Google Analytics again. It’s been awhile and I was able to see that one person from Bayside was online reading stories that seemed to involved a certain friend of mine from the recording studio days. It was addictive as I read what they were reading for a few minutes and tried to figure out what it was they were looking for. I enjoyed it, for a few minutes I watching someone else read what I wrote. Sort of like looking over their shoulder as they read. And when they stopped reading, so did I.
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I Shall Be Released- Jacob Miller

Today’s cold and damp entry is brought to you courtesy of the local bibliothèque. It’s a cold and damp day here in Hoboken and on days like this the bibliothèque is in full swing. Everybody and their brother seems to be here, staying dry and crowding around whatever computer terminals are available.

I am on the second floor in the reference department, on the tablet that I got for Christmas from Bill. No more chairs designed by De Sade in front of computers that were originally rejected by Mattel for Intellivision back in the day. No, a quiet corner is all I need.

‘Why am I here and not home?’ you ask. I was climbing the walls and it had been a while since I had done any volunteering at the bibliothèque. Apparently there’s been a surplus of volunteers so my being here to do such a thing has been redundant. And I am fine with that, it’s good to see so many supporting the library.

So it is in a quiet corner in which I sit. I don’t think it will be quiet much longer since the schools are letting out and quite a number of them will be here for homework, or hook ups with other students.

And there was no text from Shlomo today which is an amazing thing. He’s been so needy lately and I have to admit that he did piss me off yesterday with him making a mess and leaving it behind for someone to clean up. I at least extinguished the candle but I refuse to wash out his cocktail glasses or empty the ashtrays which he and his Zionist hoodlum friends left in the lounge which is currently being used for storage or a sukkah.

Last night was a nice time spent with Bill. He was asleep the other night when I came home so it was good we were both awake. He suggested watching a screener of Argo which he got from the Film Actors Guild. I do want to see it but I wasn’t into it last night. I turned on a Pioneers of Television show on PBS which I knew he would enjoy greatly. And he did, many laughs were had. I love finding things that Bill will like and I like it even more when he is into it.

I suppose we will watch Argo tonight. I hope it will be better than SIlver Linings Playbook. The only thing worth watching in that was Jennifer Lawrence. Judging by the Golden Globes, Argo is a good movie. We have passes to see Lincoln next week, the night before Bill has to submit his ballot for the Film Actors Guild, so I guess we will be cutting it close.

Lincoln is really the only movie we want to see, despite knowing how it ends. Maybe that will be the perfect time to tell Bill of my Fjord’s Theater adventure. An adventure I created but do not remember at all, I just know the story of what happened that day in 1964.

An hour or so later: I was just reading an article online about Dick Gregory. The website had a family filter on it so his name in the headline was spelled D*** Gregory.
It was very similar to what happened a few years ago about track star Tyson Gay. The conservative religious websites had defaults set to change the word gay to homosexual, so the name was posted as Tyson Homosexual.

Off the top of my head

Off the top of my head


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The Madonna singer in chat mode

The Madonna singer in chat mode


and he's off again for another appearance of the Madonna singer

and he’s off again for another appearance of the Madonna singer


I Remember Now

Tuesday afternoon, 2:00. This is not a drill, nor is it a dream. It just is. Temperature has dropped considerably, back to December weather after another warmish day. I am at the bibliotheque once again, not in the Marquis de Sade chair, no this one is more suited for Stephen Hawking. Whatever event they had planned in the bibliotheque today has been cancelled. In the distance I can hear the women at the circulation desk doing their thing with an occasional giggle as the carts full of CD’s and DVD’s wind their way back to the audio visual room.

Bill and I watched In Bruges the other night, a British movie starring Brendan Gleeson, Colin Farrell and Ralph Fiennes. I had watched it once before, not paying much attention and didn’t much care for it. This time with Bill on Sunday night, nothing else was on and we both enjoyed it a lot. It’s definitely dark humor, I won’t give it away and a bit violent. Definitely haunting though as Bill and I both found ourselves thinking of it separately the next day. I would recommend it for certain people, but not for everyone since it does get a little bit bloody throughout the film.

I’ve been making an effort to listen to more music and watch less TV. So far it’s been working out nicely. Last night when Bill came home from a staged reading he is directing I was in the middle of a playlist I made called ‘Lazy Day’ with the Seekers and Spanky and Our Gang. Music that usually gets sneered at but for me it’s all sunshine and lollipops. Basically it was a Top 40 sampler from the 1960’s to the late 1970’s. I know I enjoyed it. And of course there is Port St. Willow.

I can’t stop playing Port St. Willow, especially since it is properly loaded into my iPod, so it goes with me everywhere. I had to contact Bandcamp with regards to a problem I had with the download and in doing so I also had a question to ask. Is it Port Saint Willow, or Port Street Willow. They didn’t know and recommended that I contact Port St. Willow also known as Nick Principe. And so I did. Nick Principe answered my question soon enough with an initial ‘Ha’. I don’t think he anticipated the question but he answered that it is Port SAINT Willow.

I also asked if he was playing Maxwells anytime soon, or did I miss the boat. It turns out that they did have a gig at Maxwells but it was canceled. He could see a show coming up in the early part of next year and that info will be posted on the band’s page on Tumblr. With that, he wished me well and I did the same. I was tickled to get a response so soon and with the answers I was looking for. I will be at the Maxwells show if and when it happens.

Now I am home. Bill swing by the bibliotheque to say hello. He’s now in bed, fast asleep and it’s not even 7:00. He was that tired. ANd I am a bit tired myself since I haven’t slept well the past two nights. I do have to thank Casey Chasm for the vinyl copy of Stop Making Sense. Heart in the right place for the Casey Chasm. I wish he would have asked if I had it, since I now have three copies, two vinyl and the CD, four if you count the DVD.

Now all I need is a turntable.

No I don’t.










Dedicated to the One I Love

I Pity The Poor Immigrant

A Thursday, and it’s been a good day. Yesterday after the adventure on Tuesday, I had the usual blues. A good time was had and for me depression sets in. It was nothing crippling, nothing a banana couldn’t change but still it happens. It’s been happening all of my life. I certainly appreciate the good times, the good days spent with Bill and friends and family. It’s just like the next day I feel like Wile E. Coyote treading air as I stepped off the cliff chasing the Roadrunner. There’s no descent, just a simple about face and all is well.

Last night was cool and mellow, just me and Bill hanging out watching the television. After the Ed Show we watched Modern Family just so we could have something to laugh about and then we watched Suburgatory which was alright, a Thanksgiving episode. And Thanksgiving is a mere week away.

Bill was up and out before the sun rise this morning, leaving a farewell kiss to me. I stayed in bed waiting for the sun to rise but fell asleep once again, only waking until after the fact. No one seemed to mind, let alone me.

I went out and about once again. More debris has been crated off only to be replaced by more debris. The bibliothèque has reopened and the staff was there, grumbling since the person in charge had left already. They’re all full timers so they got paid even though they couldn’t make it in. They all seemed to have been safe while the waters rose and receded. And there was quite a back log of books and other items to be returned and audited before going back on the shelves. I returned Naked Lunch, a movie I had seen with William Charas at the Galaxy Theater 20 years ago.

A movie I only needed to see once. It’s good and I remembered that it got my creative juices flowing back then, nowadays I just saw it as a valiant attempt to film the unfilmable. Peter Weller did do a great job of channeling el hombre invisible, William S. Burroughs. Adaptation is another movie like that. Of course both movies are related to the writing process, as is the Shining when you get down to it. I prefer not to think of myself as a dull, dull boy but ultimately that would be up to you to decide.

On my excursion I swung by the Guitar Bar, and there was Jim Mastro moving amplifiers around and not letting me help him. I did pester him enough that I might be able to help him out on Sunday, that is if his lovely wife Meghan is unable to help. I’m not looking to get paid, I just want to help him out since he helped me and so many others out a couple of weeks ago. After that I walked to the new cigar store and chatted with those guys. Got a freebie which was nice.

I was looking over something I wrote last month regarding Zack and his lack of response to my email. Still no response at this date which I suppose I should have expected. That ‘Caesar’ should be fine with a ‘Brutus’ at his side. No one will tell him the marsupial keeps his shiv in his pouch. Of course those that don’t know history are doomed to repeat it, and I am sure I will hear about whatever happens somehow.

Customers are chatty and my lines of communication with them are still open. Still no new point of sale system from what they tell me, the music sucks there without me and I am sure the employees still aren’t a part of the TransitChek system despite overtures and promises from the inhuman resources director. Don’t worry, Zack is not one to make waves.

It’s a good thing they don’t know about the Bizarro cigar shack blog that was created shortly after my departure. Names, faces and the kitchen sink I tell ya!

goodbye tree









Sign in the now gutted liquor store window.



05 The Great Pretender

I Never Knew You

It’s been a very rainy Friday. As I lay in bed this morning I thought, ‘now this is the day to stay in bed.’ Of course only a little while after that I got out of bed and started my day. There were plenty of mundane tasks to do, ennui waits. I wasn’t planning on doing much of anything today, it was raining quite hard and here on the sixth floor the wind was howling. A day not fit for man nor beast and here I was deciding which of those I was. I opted for being a man and duly stepped into the shower.

I got a few things off my chest with regards to this here blog. It’s noticeable if you know where to look. I mean, look beyond the obvious. Last night as I was going off to the arms of Morpheus, I came up with some lines for a song. I didn’t get out of bed and write them down, nor did I write them in the notebook I kept by the bed. The pen is there but the notebook is missing, or at least it was last night in the darkness. No, I went to sleep hoping to remember the line.

To my surprise I was able to remember the line so that worked out fine. It’s a good line, not to be revealed here, since I am trying to write a song. I was hoping to write a song for the benefit at Maxwells on the October 25, but it’s not as easy as I had hoped. I have songs in my head all the time and figured it would be easy, using the basic verse/chorus/verse, eschewing the middle eight. There’s still time anyhow. A few covers and an original might just be a few covers and nothing else.

Tomorrow there is an open mike in Church Square Park, sponsored by the Bibliothèque and I might just jump in for the sake of getting my chops. If I do that, I would be following a Flamenco act and possibly a rapper who raps in American Sign Language. And that would be after doing some volunteer work at the bibliothèque. Apparently they were all quite happy with me being there last Saturday so helping out again this Saturday would probably be helpful, but then again, no two days are the same. One day is busy, another day perhaps not so much.

Bill is driving to Atlantic City tonight and doing it again tomorrow night. So things will be quiet and quite dull here. Things just aren’t as entertaining and funny when Bill isn’t around. And once again I got all misty just thinking about him this afternoon. It could have been the rain though, but the rain doesn’t necessarily leave one with a warm heart does it?

Today is my brother Frank’s birthday. 11 years between us. He’s a good guy, but we’re so much alike sometimes that we can’t avoid butting heads. The first five minutes of seeing each other can be very combustible. There is a gathering planned on Sunday afternoon and Bill and I said we would attend. It’s in Saddle Brook, not too far away. It would be good to see family once again before we separate and come together again during the end of the year holidays.

So that’s about it for today I reckon. What’s done is done and of course there is always tomorrow and the day after. So much depends on the weather, both inside and out. But overall things should be alright as far as I can tell, and I can tell a lot…



05 Towers Of London

I Never Knew Love Like This Before

Another new page, or perhaps a new chapter. Who knows? Maybe it’s still being written. Time was spent once again volunteering at the bibliothèque. It went well, the staff wish I could get hired full time, I wish I could get hired full time, but not right now I guess. It’s a good gig, I like them, they like me. Only time will tell. They’re good people, some true Hoboken characters. I spent the time today putting away books and CD’s and DV’s, and also helping out people looking for items which I was able to do since I had just put most of those items away.

As I was putting away some of the audio visual items, I started talking to a young man named Esteban. He had taken out Television- Marquee Moon last week and I checked it out for him last week, Today I asked him what he thought and he was it was too much of a guitar record, which he wasn’t looking for but liked it. I guess he didn’t have a Stan Bogdansky in his life enthusing about Tom Verlaine and company like I did back in the day. I still remember Stan singing Prove It as I waited so we could go to a show.

Esteban did ask me for some suggestions and I asked if he was into something rock and roll, or something more on the chill out side of things. He was interested in the chill out side so I suggested Brian Eno, Another Green World. Half instrumental, half with vocals. He recognized Eno as being the producer of U2 and I told him there was so much more. We talked about Talking Heads and he recognized Remain in Light, having taken it out previously. He knew Once In A Lifetime from a movie.

He almost took out Remain in Light again but found Speaking in Tongues which is good but definitely pales in comparison to Remain in Light. I described it as more of a ‘pop’ record and he sort of looked disdainful. I explained there was nothing wrong with pop music, that the Beatles and the Rolling Stones were considered pop when they started, and perhaps they still are pop 50 years later. He also expressed a fondness for Blonde on Blonde having taken it out a while ago, I Want You being his favorite song.

I made a remark about Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands being 17 minutes long, and he corrected me telling me it was actually 12 minutes. He asked how I knew so much about music and I explained I have friends (Harpy & Juan) and family (Frank & Annemarie) that turn me onto music all the time, plus I suggested getting Mojo and Uncut magazines. He never heard of those and was very excited when I told him that each month the latest issues of those magazines come with free CD samplers. Sometimes new stuff sometimes old stuff on the samplers but almost all of it is very good.

I guess I will have to volunteer next Wednesday at the bibliothèque so I can find out what Esteban thought of my suggestions. He seemed like a nice enough chap. There was another patron who is trying to get every record from Rolling Stone’s issue of the best 500 albums. That seemed a bit much, but then again it Rolling Stone which is better read nowadays for Matt Taibbi’s reporting rather than music coverage. Some of the bibliothèque staff saw a flier for the Hoboken Fair Rent Association benefit on October 25 at Maxwells and wanted to know if that was me listed on the flier. It is.

So right now I am walking a tight rope. The future is uncertain as well as unwritten and out of my hands.




07 Prove It

I Never Told You

I just got back from 5 hours of volunteering at the local bibliothèque. I enjoy working with them, the ladies. They enjoy me working there, and being a male they seem to feel safer having a guy around. In this case, I am the guy or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof. And today it was all about doing whatever they wanted me to do. And so that meant putting a lot of items today. Notin the nonfiction department though. That resembles the office set from Being John Malkovich, a very low ceiling with only an inch between my head and the ceiling.

A good part of the time was in the Audio Visual room which is a mess. DVD’s and CD’s are kept in a very loose alphabetical sense. A through Z basically. Breaking it down further is near impossible since it is probably the most popular room and to maintain order someone would have to stay in there the whole time. But there isn’t anyone there the whole time and things fall out of order constantly. Then there are the people who hide DVD’s or CD’s to pick up later. They don’t get very far, at least not on my watch.

It was fairly busy, I worked with two women, Diane and Pat. Diane has seniority over Pat. I like them both very much. Diane was pulling for me to get in good with the library which I am doing with my volunteering. The last part of my time today was placing the items on hold for library patrons on the shrinking shelves. There is simply not enough room for all the books on hold and so some items have to be placed on the shelves an inch or two above the floor. And of course every time I situated myself on the floor, I had to get up since Pat or Diane needed to get by.

Finally at one point I was able to stand up as a patron walked in. She walked up to the counter and asked for an item that was on hold. I just said ‘Yay!’ and Diane and Pat lost it. Really laughing so hard for the next 20 minutes and in so doing the remaining time flew by. Apparently they just don’t have someone like me helping out. I am just glad I was able to help out and add some laughter to their day.

Now I am home, with Bill and waiting for the second debate. I hope it goes well for Obama, none of the narcolepsy that affected him during the last debate while Romney lied, lied and lied some more. And he got away with it since Obama did not point out his lies and backtracking and contradictory statements. Bill has been under the weather the past two days so to have him up and about is a good thing. Once again he worked really hard for about three weeks, driving, the day job and preparing for the reading last week, and also the Yankee game.

He was destined to crash as he usually does when he works for weeks on end. So his day was spent in bed today. I was out and about earlier, made the trip to the really big supermarket where I ran into my dear friend Ro Da. We talked for quite a while, his tales of woe, my tales of woe. Despite that it was great to see him as it always is. I’ve known him for almost 30 years which is a mind blower. He is a sweetheart and I certainly wish him on the very best.



Reminiscing

I Never Said I Was Deep

A rainy Monday. It hasn’t been raining all day, just started a few hours ago when I was off to the bibliothèque to do some volunteering. Just a few hours putting away DVD’s and CD’s and a ton of non-fiction books and also helping out customers who couldn’t find certain items. One guy had an interview tomorrow and was looking for a book on how to ‘ace’ the interview. His thing is at Conde Nast and I wished him well. He kept calling me ‘sir’ which I found unnerving but it is something that I should probably get used to.

Yesterday was also spent volunteering at the bibliothèque. It was a quiet day inside, and I helped in when I could. Saturday was the busy day and I heard several times how grateful they were that I was there to help out. They’re good people and I don’t mind helping them out. The staff there likes me and I like them so it all works out. It would be nice to get a full time job there but we’ll see how that goes. It’s a civil service job and that’s a job one does not walk away from.

There was the chance to work part time but that salary would pay considerably less than the unemployment insurance I get. If I was collecting from NJ then NJ would make up the difference between the part time pay and the unemployment benefit. But since I am collecting from New York State, where I worked, it’s not that easy. For each day you work, it is a 25% deduction from your already low benefit. So if you work 4 or more days, you are screwed. In NJ they’re willing to do the math, in New York State they really don’t want to.

Today I had an interview finally. It was with a staffing agency in midtown, an agency I signed up for years ago, perhaps when I was still living in Weehawken. They sent me out on one gig, I showed up in a suit and tie, working for a publisher that puts out legal newsletters and books. They had me in the mail room and I was dressed more like the executives than the mail room personnel. That made everyone uncomfortable and the job ended only an hour or two later, not the full day I was told I would be working.

It was unnerving, the agency visit. I showed up early, suit & tie, looking fly. The appointment was at 1:00, I was there at 12:45. I brought the attachments they sent in an email, all filled out, plus proper identification and the resume with references attached. An hour later I hadn’t seen anyone. I mentioned that I had somewhere to go downtown at 2:30 and the receptionist said something that I didn’t quite hear since they play Pandora quite loudly in the reception area. Not relaxing stuff, not music, but ‘what the kids are listening to nowadays’.

That meant One Republic, Maroon 5, Gusttavo Lima, Muse and Spoon (whom I do like) all at a really loud volume. People are stressed to begin with looking for work and while they stress out sitting for their counselor, they get to listen to alternative Top 40 radio with songs picked by an algorithm in Kansas. I was certainly stressed when they set me up with some tests and I did not do well at all. I did better than I expected but overall, I was just above a passing grade.

My counselor did come out and we talked. He told me he would send me the test again to do at home and practice to that I could get a higher score. At the elevator he told me to stay in touch, maybe email him twice a week to let him know if I am still looking. It seemed like a brush off but I remain hopeful. So far there is nothing from the counselor in my mail box. I just found it, it wasn’t from the counselor it was from a third party and therefore wound up in the Spam folder. Now I have something to do tomorrow.

Last night Bill did not come home from driving until late. I watched Rent on HBO and it was good, not as good as when I saw it with Bill. A little too earnest and watching the opening 15 minutes I was reminded of the scene from Team America, Everyone’s Got AIDS, because of the first four characters in the movie Rent, 3 of them have AIDS. Still it was good to see Jesse L. Martin singing and it made me wonder whatever happened to the Marvin Gaye bio that he filmed a few years ago. Never released, not even straight to DVD.

last of the sunflowers?





I Never Play Basketball Now

Well it finally feels like autumn. Temperatures drop down to the 30 degree range at night and the afternoon, when sunny is cool and crisp. Leaves and twigs crunch underfoot when walking on sidewalks. I don’t mind it, though I do prefer the summer. When I was a suit & tie wearing guy it was somewhat reversed. I preferred the autumn since the suits were just fine, no need for an overcoat- I could just go in the suit and tie. Now that that isn’t happening much these days I find myself comfortable in whatever it is I seem to be wearing.

I spent time at the bibliothèque today, volunteering. I told them that I was going to be doing that and they were extremely grateful that I was there. They were swamped with returns and requests and having me there enabled them to get whatever needed to be done, completed. They told me they appreciated me being there and I certainly appreciate them so it was a win win situation. I’ll put in some more time tomorrow as well as a few days this week. Good guy Mike Cecchini does the same thing so I will at least have good company.

It turned out Bill was not at the Yankee game last night, he was at work watching the game there. He knows I’m not a sports fan, definitely not a Yankee fan and spared me the overpriced testosterone showboating. Normally I don’t mind looking at the slabs of beef in tight fitting uniforms but my disdain for the Yankees prevents me from seeing anything remotely sexual from those Bronx bombers. As long as Bill is happy, I am happy. Tonight he is going to the game with a friend since it is game one of a pennant race or something like that.

No plans here for me tonight, just laying low once again. Practice the guitar a bit, watch some TV, some DVD’s. I have True Grit with Jeff Bridges, Carnage, Drive and We Bought A Zoo. The last one is the latest Cameron Crowe movie and I am hoping for the best. And I still have the New Yorker, Mojo and Uncut as well as a few books to read so my input is good at least. And then there is the beast which is the internet forever demanding of my time. Something clever needs to be posted!

Well Bill has a bit of an upset stomach, he is waiting for a friend to join him before heading up to the Bronx. Then he has to get back at a reasonable hour since he is driving a charter somewhere tomorrow. I wouldn’t have a problem if Bill wanted to watch the game here at home, he watches just about everything I put on so one good turn deserves another. But then again there is nothing quite like going to a baseball game and watching it in the stands, or even the bleachers.

Even if it is the dreaded Yankees.



Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard

I Need You Tonight- Junior M.A.F.I.A feat. Aaliyah & Lil’ Kim

Well it’s been an interesting week, a Monday through Friday gig. And now I am off for the next 3 days, with work meetings scheduled next Tuesday and Wednesday at 9:00 in the morning. Not complaining, no I am not. The new gig is about 5 minutes from my door which is nice. I save quite a bit of money on the commute. Working at the cigar shack was approximately $200.00 a month to commute back and forth, now it’s down to zero. My world has shrunk considerably as well. Since it’s just a walk down the block, walking to Washington Street has become an excursion.

Of course that will change eventually I guess. I mainly work with women now so I suppose I will have to get my menstrual cycle in line with the women, though half of them are post-menopausal. It’s been a learning experience this week, getting everything together and trying to understand what’s what. I found out today, one of the women I work with is the daughter of a woman I worked with at Maxwells back in the day. She remembered me somewhat but wasn’t sure and I confirmed it when I told her about Maxwells.

I don’t think the daughter is on good terms with her mother. To tell you the truth the mother was starting to lose it back then and through the years she may have gotten worse. I am not sure if innocent is the proper word to describe the times back then, but after all these years in the cold light of today things are a lot more real. Most of the people back then have moved on, a select few are still around and connections are reestablished via Facebook. The other day the women announced they were going out for drinks after work today.

I immediately started thinking of excuses not to. Nothing against them, it’s just that it would be an expense I couldn’t afford, plus drinking takes more than a physical toll on me, it takes time, time to recover from the drinks. Even that one glass of wine last week did my head in for a few hours afterward. A few margarita’s with then girls would render tomorrow inactive. Then again I did hear from Pedro who said he might be coming to town tomorrow and that might entail drinks with him and Connie.

Of course Pedro could talk me into it though I have to keep in mind that last time I was properly rocked and it took a lot of will power to keep myself together. Of course when you look at me in that condition you never can tell. It’s what’s inside that you don’t see and that inside is usually a mess. I handle myself well but usually I would rather be in bed sleeping it off. Tomorrow with Pedro depends on the weather. If it’s raining then he and Connie will probably stay upstate. If it’s nice then they will be down here, perhaps in a dark pub.

It’s been interesting with Pedro the past couple of days. He’s leaning right politically and setting me up with Facebook messages that are pro-Willard. I fall for it and as I write with pure emotion, he feeds the fire somewhat then takes a step back letting me know he is merely busting my balls and that he loves me, calling me his big brother. And that makes it alright. I certainly hope he does not bring up politics tomorrow, I know I won’t. Until then I will occupy my time one way or another. It has been a good week.

And hello Casey Chasm en familie!

New layout! What do you think?



She’s a Lady

I Need You Tonight- Backstreet Boys

Hump day? Yes, hump day and for me another day, the third day at the new gig. It’s been interesting so far, I just have to remember to breathe and relax and not get flummoxed as I am still in training. Of course I am swinging for the fences and should really concentrate on my batting stance. What’s with the baseball metaphors? I don’t know, they seemed appropriate. I do enjoy writing earlier in the day rather than later like I have been doing for so long. Can you tell the difference? I don’t know if I can so I will just keep on keepin’ on.

Another morning where I get up and start the routine, shower, coffee, cereal. Then I find I am still tired so I set the alarm and go back to bed, falling into a deep sleep that seems like hours when it is actually less than 30 minutes. It happened yesterday and it happened again this morning. I was woken up by Bill who had the day off to take care of his mother, a trip to the beauty parlor then a doctor’s visit. He was moving things around looking for some of his mother’s documents.

He found most of the documents and headed out and after two cups of coffee I went back to bed. Perhaps the coffee prevents me from getting more than a few minutes, but then again after the nap I do feel refreshed and more than able to get in line with the order of the day. And I still have a few hours to go before heading into the job. It’s how I fill those hours that can be tricky. I am sure I can find some things, some activity to do before I head in. Something besides sleep.

I had a good phone call last night with former co-worker Brenda. She had received a call from the director at the new job and I am pretty sure that is what got me the job. She was so effusive in her description of me, that I would have hired me if I had gotten the call. Of course there is still no word from Zack/Calvin/HotSauce/Whatever and I certainly don’t expect one now. I suppose whatever his name is, is still sore or at least his lack of ego is still somewhat bruised. In the meantime I look at what I wrote and didn’t post and still enjoy a chuckle.

Brenda was great though, a lot of catching up. Who is getting divorced, who moved out to Short Hills and who is having or had a baby. She is working for a great guy, someone I enjoyed supporting when Brenda and I worked together all those years ago. And I am glad that Brenda is happy. She’s in midtown and next time I am in midtown we have plans to have a coffee together. It was a positive phone call and negative comments were kept to a minimum.

I just found an appointment from a few years ago, meeting Amy Holgerson at Thomson Reuters at 195 Broadway. If I recall that meeting went alright but still I did not get the job and therefore still serving my karmic sentence at the cigar shack. I had a laugh last night talking with Brenda about a position at Matlin Paterson, across from the east side cigar shack and in a building where Brenda once worked after Wanker Banker went under. Another position I was qualified for but did not get. At least I thought I was qualified, but Jennifer Muscarello obviously did not feel the same.

Funny thing happened today. I ran onto Ira Kaplan. I ran into him last week and here we are again meeting on the street. A few laughs and chuckles. Then I go to the new gig and what comes up, a few Yo La Tengo CD’s and the book written about Yo La Tengo. Was today Ira Kaplan day? It was a good day for it.






11 Map Ref. 41ºn 93ºw

I Need You Tonight- ZZ Top

It’s a rainy Tuesday. I can’t really say what kind of day it is since I haven’t really done anything. I slept really well last night, I did not remember Bill kissing me goodbye this morning even though he said I was very chatty. I woke up with the alarm clock, actually after hitting the snooze button a few times. I did eventually get out of bed and started the routine once again. Made coffee, poured cereal, jumped into the shower. About an hour after that, after cereal and 2 cups of coffee I found I was quite tired.

So I went back to bed. Normally the coffee would have prevented that, but it didn’t this time. I didn’t have to be at the new job until 3:00 so I set the online alarm clock for 1:30 figuring that would be enough. Apparently all I needed was a half hor. I did sleep a deep sleep, awoken by students at the nearby school applauding something. Then I heard it start to rain so I got out of bed to make sure the windows were closed. All the time I left the TV on as a way of not drifting off too far to sleep.

I did get back into bed once again intending to get some more sleep but it seemed I had enough. I walked through the apartment, and watched the rain fall steadily upon Hoboken. And the rain still falls an hour later. The new job is a good job. It’s similar to the first job I ever had in some ways, at least elementally. I do hope the schedule is set soon though. I would like to see Bill in the staged reading of 8, a play by Dustin Lance Black about the Proposition 8 trial (same sex marriage in California) on October 11.

I don’t know what’s what with regard to that and Bill is somewhat resigned to the fact that I might not be there. I think it would be the first time (or the first time in a long time) that I won’t be able to see Bill onstage. I will definitely have to put in a request to have December 7 off since that is the date that Bill and I are going to see Sinbad at the Apollo Theater. It’s what I got Bill for his birthday. But I am still in a probationary period so who knows?

Despite my efforts to not look backwards, I do have to say that if it weren’t for this here blog being found out by Michael Herklots, who in turn informed Zack/Calvin/Hot Sauce/Whatever who got his feeling hurt, I would likely still be toiling away at the cigar shack having to put up with a marsupial and his snortish ways. Sure I was prepared to jump, just waiting for the right time. But too much time was spent on the plank and so instead of jumping off, I was pushed. And I don’t regret it, since if I was still there I would likely be filled with regret and despair.

The cloud did have a silver lining. I still have some anxiety about the new gig, but that should be expected since I am about to start my second day. And the second day went well. Trying my best to do things correctly, to show I have a handle on things and perhaps I am trying to hard. Then again there are the inner demons and doubts that occur from time to time, more often than not, when I am alone. At home with Bill I am fine, at work I am fine. It’s the in between moments that do my head in. I guess this happens to everyone at some point, doesn’t it?




John Riley

I Need You Tonight- Professor Green

It’s a Monday. I know this to be true since I just started a new job today. I’m happy about it and just got home a little while ago. Gone are the days of having to deal with the passive aggressive tendencies, the meetings at 8:00 in the morning, the meetings after work. Those days are gone and I do not miss them at all. I do have to admit, over the weekend I realized that they probably should not have stopped doing their inventory since someone did tell me of the things they had stolen from the cigar shack.

But that is no longer my problem. The new job allows me to move on and not look ass backwards at the way things turned out. True there are some people I will miss but things are better for me now and I can always meet up with some of these people at a later date, perhaps a later hour. But that is not going to happen anytime soon since I still have to get settled into the task at hand. I am happy where I am now and apparently on Day One, I had done a very good job. Impressive, even.

Yesterday was Sunday since today is Monday. It was the Hoboken Art & Music Festival and the weather was a bit sketchy. Each time I intended to go out, the skies seemed threatening. I did want to see Lenny Kaye playing alongside Jim Mastro who were backing up a singer but it started raining so I opted to stay inside and prepare dinner. Once the food prep was over I decided to go against the odds and head out to see what was what on Washington Street. The festival runs from Observer Highway up to 7th Street.

I walked up 7th Street and hoped I would see some cigar sellers like there were at previous festivals but they were nowhere to be seen or smelled (which is the tip off they were around). The Hoboken Motorcycle Club was in the former cigar maker spot. No worries. I had heard that Rand and Lisa were around somewhere, as was Chaz. So I walked down the middle of Washington Street, dodging baby strollers and dogs, of which there were more than enough. Too much for my liking. There were some interesting crafts for sale but me being rich in spirit yet poor in wallet, I kept walking.

I made it down to the main stage at Observer Highway, some nondescript guys on stage doing something that did not hold my attention in the slightest. I scanned the crowd but did not see anyone I knew so after a couple of songs headed back, this time walking on the sidewalk instead of the middle of the street. I did buy three Harry Potter DVD’s which were 3 for $5.00. All widescreen, not full screen and I got the first, third and fifth movies which were all that was available in widescreen.

I also stopped by the Hoboken Fair Rent Association and talked to a few of the workers there about the upcoming election. Hoboken residents should vote NO on the public question #2. Then it started to drizzle a bit and I headed home. And when I got home I got a text from Rand, saying that he and Lisa were about to head out to the festival. I texted that I had just got back home. I watched some things on the TV, tried to take a nap to no avail. Bill came home a little after that, he had come home earlier then went out to rehearse for a reading coming up in a week or two.

Bill took a nap and at around 8:00 I tried to wake him up but he was unmovable. At 9:00 I tried and again and he stirred, getting up to watch Boardwalk Empire before going back to bed. I watched one of the Harry Potter movies and a little after midnight I could hear Bill making a racket. I stopped watching and walked into the bedroom. Bill was quite distraught. Apparently he had a dream that his mother passed away and he was freaking out.

All I could do was hold him and tell him it was probably a dream. He got out of bed and I got him some water while he called his cousin. His mother was alive and Bill calmed down considerably and went to bed. I soon joined him, a bit anxious since I was about to start a new job, the next day, meaning today.




Need You Tonight

I Need You Now- Olly Murs

Finally there are blue skies and the sun has been seen. It’s been grey and rainy all day, quite stormy and windy since last night. Now all is calm. I did go out a few times, ran into Mike Cecchini on the street. He was leaving the bibliothèque and I was headed to it. Nice talk about Beatle books, movies and what not. Good to see him. Then a trip to the supermarket nearby and a brief traipse up to Washington Street and before I knew it I was home again, right before another downpour. It is all in the timing.

I found it hard to believe that a single glass of white wine at an art opening did my head in. But it seems to be true. By the time Bill and I came home after holding hands walking down Washington Street I was quite tired and could easy figure out it was the wine. Bill was fine and he drank his glass quickly. I sipped mine and after leaving the gallery, I felt more light headed than usual. It wasn’t half bad but then again it was something that I hadn’t felt in a while, even after four pints with Rand on Monday evening.

It certainly helped with sleeping last night though, awoken by Bill leaving for the day and then awoken again by the storm raging outside. I won’t be seeing Bill until tomorrow since he is once again behind the wheel driving to Atlantic City. Another reason to be happy that it is not raining now. Still not used to it getting dark out so early but there is nothing I can do about that. Nothing planned of course for the evening, just some television I suppose.

This weekend is the Hoboken Art & Music Festival and there are no bold face names playing this time. It was probably getting to be too expensive to have name acts playing and the local talent could be culled at a less expensive rate. I don’t know what the weather will be like and I think it might rain so that will definitely suck, especially if you’re a vendor. I just checked the weather report and it’s a 50/50 chance that it might rain. Or it might not. It must be a nice gig being a weatherman. Especially if no one is asking about which way the wind is blowing.

New chapter in my life will start on Monday. If you’re on Facebook, you know all about it. It’s been in the works for years actually and I guess persistence finally paid off, and getting on with people certainly helped. I am quite a lucky guy though. My dear friend Brenda came through, I guess she was the one who got the call and from what she probably said, more than likely put me over the top. So the cigar shack saga is finally over. And to think, I owe the resolution to the old Mike Herklots. Why if it weren’t for him having Zack’s back I’d probably still be miserable.



Be-Bop-A-Lula

I Need Love

And so today, I find myself on September 10. Not a bad day, it’s been alright thanks. Yesterday wasn’t so bad either. No busking but I did sit by the river and enjoyed a cigar as I read. After the maelstrom on Saturday it was good to be out and about. And there were a lot of people out and about. There was also the last day of the Italian feast on River Road which accounted for the marching band and the testing of fireworks in the afternoon. That was why a quarter of Pier A being inaccessible to the out and about crowd.

I was home at an all too decent hour and once again, once home I am in for the evening. That meant no going to see any acquaintance play. I did intend to go but the four flights of stairs defeated me and I wanted to spend time with Bill who had spent the day with his cousin and her family since his cousin lost her mother earlier in the week. I didn’t know what type of mood Bill would be in so I waited with tea and sympathy, or rather a Klondike bar and a hug.

He was OK and we just hung out watching TV, nothing in particular just the news. Then he went to bed and I stayed up watching more of nothing in particular. Slept well last night and woke up easy as well. I was up and out rather quickly, a trip to the bibliothèque and then a walk to the really big supermarket. It was the right time, apparently if you go before noon there are significantly less people which makes for a pleasant shopping experience as I walked up and down the aisles humming along to She’d Rather be With Me by the Turtles.

Though it’s unofficial, today felt like summer was over with the air feeling quite autumnal. I decided to go out and do some busking. I practiced Maggie May by Rod Stewart at home and did alright, but once I was on the promenade it did not go over well. It was too windy to pull out the sheets of songs and chords so whatever I had memorized would have to do. Well that and whatever I had on Google Drive which is also on my smartphone, just much smaller. And since it was September 10, the song of the day was One After 909.

The other night for a lark I decided to see if I could download the movie, Let It Be and I did. Not exactly the feel good Fabs movie as they’re falling apart and Paul’s trying to keep it all together. But it’s the rooftop concert which is the best part and what inspired me to figure out One After 909. Easy enough to play and I had the Google Drive to back me up should I falter. Mike Cecchini walked by and we had a good talk before I started playing.

I reckon that I will have to dress a little more appropriately for the weather which means I would have to wear pants. Since May I’ve only worn pants once and that was for an interview a week or so ago. From what I heard I might have a good foot in the running. It was getting too cold to continue busking plus nature was calling so that meant I had to pack everything up and go and answer the call which I did. Then I came home and opened a box that Annemarie, Rex and Earl sent for my birthday and once the box was opened cookies and brownies were enjoyed.




I Need A Dollar

Another wishy washy day. And it’s a Wednesday and even for me it feels like a Tuesday. The holiday on Monday once again throws everything out of whack. I’ve been out and about, sometimes in the rain today. Not going far, just within Hoboken city limits and not even near the borders. A trip to the really big supermarket not just because it’s cheaper but because the workers at the other supermarket are just a bit on the snotty side of things. I wander around the really big supermarket with a basket singing along to the songs that are played on the store’s PA.

Another bibliothèque visit was in order. They did correct the problem with regards to the DVD return, it was finally taken off my card. As I suspected, the dear old lady who I talked to about it yesterday did not do anything about it. I brought it up again and by the time I got home it was taken care of. And I took out a new DVD, Infamous, the ‘other’ Truman Capote movie, this one starring Toby Jones and Sandra Bullock with Daniel Craig as the Beaver. I’d seen it before and figured why not again?

I also have The Decendants and The Apartment. I watched The Apartment a week or so ago on Turner Classic Movies and I didn’t think Bill had seen it before. It’s a great movie and I am sure he would love it. That’s two things I like to do with Bill, turn him onto new music as well as classic movies. And so far I am doing good. Last night we watched the Democratic National Convention on C-Span. It made so much sense to watch it on C-Span. No advertising. I tried watching the Repugnant Convention last week on PBS and even they had adverts. Adverts for themselves, but still…

Finally there is a blue sky after it being rainy and cloudy all day. Of course since the weather was most uncooperative there was no busking today. Despite that I practiced a bit and I think it went well. No complaints, no blood, just callouses. Oh and Harpy was right, both the new Bob Dylan and the new Cat Power records are very good. I would also add the new Tom Tom Club EP to the list. I heard it first via Chris Frantz posting via East Village Radio the streaming of Downtown Rockers. It’s light, it’s fun and it’s the Tom Tom Club.

I saw online that the National Guard is looking for a Human Resources Specialist and thought about applying for it, but upon further reading of “Job training requires nine weeks of Basic Training, where you’ll learn basic Soldiering skills, and seven to nine weeks of Advanced Individual Training and on-the-job instruction, where you will learn basic typing skills, how to prepare Army correspondence and forms, how to manage personnel records, and computer update and retrieval procedures.” I thought better of it.

I don’t need to learn basic typing skills, at least I don’t think I do. After all, I have posted 2,357 entries so far and I think I have the hang of it. It did seem promising (the job posting that is. This here blog seems promising every so often, but more often than not it seems somewhat needy). While it does occur to me on occasion that it is truly ‘De Profundis’ in the most banal way, I still find it worthwhile to continue on whatever path it may lead.

Bill and I had a talk about it over the weekend, with me bringing up Jimmy Seltzer’s name and the scheme to collaborate on something. But that was earlier this year and since I have not seen dear Jimmy since May, I can only guess that that collaboration has been shelved indefinitely. C’est la vie!







07 – Red Leaves

I Live With You

The penultimate day before summer, which is occurring on Thursday. It’s been a very good day. I did receive word from the company I interviewed with last week, the standard ‘Thanks but no thanks. Oh and by the way- Good Luck’ message. It was alright, I did not expect to get the job but still there was a sliver of hope in the back of my mind. I have a cavernous mind and it was all the way in the back next to my Duncan butterfly yoyo and my copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, under my autographed Brian Eno records.

I slept fairly well last night. I also stayed up later than usual which probably contributed to the fact that I had a good night’s sleep. I’ve been setting the alarm clock lately, trying to hang onto something resembling a routine. It’s sort of been working but what actually woke me up this morning (after Bill’s farewell kiss to me) was the sound of construction and destruction. Next door they’re doing something to a garage and that’s been noisy but what was even noisier was the water department chopping up the street down the block. Luckily I got out of bed at that time.

I made some coffee and jumped in the shower and then about an hour later, the water was cut off. It was a drag but manageable since I had done the ‘important’ stuff beforehand. That still left some dirty dishes in the sink but I knew the water would be back on eventually. I decided not to wait for the water to come back and headed out to do somethings. A trip to the bibliothèque was in order since I needed to return a CD that I took out yesterday, the Bongos- Numbers With Wings/Beat Hotel.

I used to be a big Bongos fan. Bog enough that I was taller than the guys in the band and most of the audience. Unfortunately the CD was only half good and that was the Numbers With Wings part. The Beat Hotel part is best forgotten and not mentioned. Their first album, Drums Along The Hudson was great and still is fun to listen to. Then they signed to RCA, and it all went pear shaped. It was the eighties and no one knew any better but it was a major misstep for all concerned. Still I am friends with 3 out of 4 Bongos, which is why I am holding back here.

I did see a former Bongo today, Jim Mastro, Mr. Wonderful. Always good to see him. One daughter home from college, another daughter has one more day of being a high school sophomore, and then there is Meghan off for a few weeks before doing something with kids during the summer. I had my bicycle out and decided to go for a ride. I aimed to head up the river rather than down to Liberty State Park. I had heard the Hudson River Walkway was sort of completed and I wanted to see where it would take me.

I got as far as North Bergen before the walkway ended. It was enjoyable though it would have been more fun if there was someone to ride with. I enjoyed the solitude and the weather was perfect for it. I returned back to Hoboken, the same way I left it and stopped to look at some geese with their goslings, none of them named Ryan. Finally by Sybil’s Cave I sat in the shade and enjoyed a cigar while finishing last week’s New Yorker. Then I rode my bike home. .

The water was back on when I came home but there really wasn’t anything to eat. So after putting the bicycle away and climbing the four flights of stairs, I was back on the street heading to the nearby supermarket. It was a gamble and I was hungry and you don’t go food shopping when you are hungry. But I was good and only bought a few things I needed. OK, I also bought some Belsen Dark Chocolate biscuits since they were on sale and I wanted something chocolate. So now after riding about 20 miles today I don’t think I will have any problem sleeping tonight.

Jinx!






Geese & goslings


Ryan Gosling


NOT Ryan Gosling


08 Because

I Just Threw Out The Love Of My Dreams

This has been an out of the ordinary day. Yesterday was fairly ordinary though. It was a day working alongside Jerry Vale and Thomas. Thomas was doing his best to get on my good side after a week or two of estrangement and it worked. I had forgotten that carrying a grudge could be a burden. SO there was a thawing out of the frosty relations between the two of us. Jerry Vale and I get along just fine.

Still I did get a bit upset with the two of them. On weekends it usually falls to me to clean up the man cave once it is closed to the public. It takes about a half hour generally and for that half hour I am off the floor, not taking sales. The front of the cigar shack needs a cleaning as well and yesterday since the two of them were just staring out the window ogling women walking by, I put the vacuum cleaner between the two of them, saying it was up for grabs.

Twenty minutes later, the vacuum cleaner was still there and I got upset with the two for them. I told Jerry Vale why I was upset and he said he didn’t vacuum since Thomas NEVER vacuums, so why should he? As if that was a viable excuse. So it was left to me to vacuum after I told Jerry Vale off, Thomas in the bathroom dealing with his irritable bowel syndrome.

After that I took the trash to the loading dock and figured that I would give myself a nice break and sat outside the cigar shack on the street watching life go by on a beautiful spring evening. I suppose it was similar to how my mother would ask my brother Brian and me to do something and neither of us would, at least not in the time frame that she had hoped it would get done. Instead Brian and I would fight about it, with Brian usually winning since he was bigger than me.

I came back to the cigar shack, and a little while after that Thomas left early with his IBS, leaving Jerry Vale and myself to close the cigar shack. Jerry Vale and I walked downtown a bit, I was headed to the bus terminal and he was off to who knows where.

I came home to a note on my computer from Bill, asking me to wake him up at 9:30, which I did. I watched Bob’s Burgers, then Nurse Jackie and the Big C followed by Mad Men. Bill was awake for a little while, telling me right in the middle of Mad Men what his past two days were like. He was at an acting seminar and it went well I suppose.

Then he went to bed and luckily I paused the DVR as Bill told his tale, and I was able to watch what was on hold while he talked. I watched the news up to the weather, me not caring much about the sports news that followed. Some more TV before I too went to bed. I had to have some blood work done this morning so I didn’t eat for about nine hours.

I woke up this morning, took a shower and without coffee went out into the world. I ran into my barber Tony, who told me more of his nerve problems, this time not in his left arm but from his neck to between his shoulder blades. It was a brief chat and then I was off to the bibliothèque where I chatted with Diane the librarian about her problems with her apartment.

I picked up Retromania by Simon Reynolds and Live Rust by Neil Young & Crazy Horse. I had a brief chat with Bill on the phone before I went into the local lab where I had four or five vials of blood drawn from my arm. That took about 10 minutes, paperwork included.

Then I left and ran into Jason Stasium who was with his adorable daughter Sophia. I worked with Jason in the last century at Right Track Recording. I didn’t recognize him at first when he started talking to me, thinking he was possibly a cigar shack customer. These things happen without coffee and interacting with humanity. He’s doing well, still an audio engineer and ready to work on whatever projects come his way. He and Sophia walked with me for a while then I was in the supermarket.

As I gathered my provisions I saw Clara, yet another person I worked within the last century. She just got her hair done a few days ago and looked great. She was most appreciative of my earnest compliment. We were both on the line for Isis and the three of us had a few chuckles, as Isis rang up our items. I was surprised at how civil I could be without my coffee, just a few beats behind everything.

I was only gone an hour but obviously a lot had happened in that hour. Finally I was home and able to have breakfast and some coffee that Bill had brewed for me before he left for work. I put away my clothes after breakfast and chatted online with friends. I texted Rand to see if he was around and he responded that he was up for a bike ride. But it was getting close to 90 degrees and I decided to head to the river with a cigar. No bike ride for me today. We may go on Thursday if the weather permits.

I sat by the water and read an interview with Jack White in Uncut Magazine Then I turned the page to an article on the late Alex Chilton, with a photograph taken quite near to where I was sitting by the river, from twenty years ago. It wasn’t exactly a happy article, it was more about Alex Chilton’s downward spiral in the 1970’s.

I walked around a bit after that. There have been advertisements around Hoboken for the Windmill, a Jersey shore fast food place. They were opening a store in Hoboken and I decided to check it out for lunch. I found it, near the Path station and it was still under construction. That was disappointing. Earlier I had gone to Ben & Jerry’s and wanted to treat myself to a Chocolate Therapy milkshake and just like two weeks ago, they were out of Chocolate Therapy.

I walked home, down Washington Street and as I walked past a hardware store I remembered I needed a light bulb. Not just any light bulb, a certain kind of light bulb. And since I didn’t know exactly what kind of light bulb I needed I kept on walking. And as I walked past another hardware store (there are two hardware stores in Hoboken) I overheard a woman telling her son that they needed to get a light bulb.

I came home and took a nap, set the alarm for an hour and woke up after twenty minutes. It’s been an odd day, for me at least. And I didn’t even mention the fact that I helped a few elderly and infirm people in the past 24 hours. Dinnertime!

It’s back to the cigar shack for me tomorrow. Who knows what fresh hell awaits me?



yesterday's sun


10 Kid About It

I Can’t Stay

It’s a Monday. And it’s a two steps back kind of day, without the one step forward part. It’s been a weird couple of days. Saturday after taking the Path Train to Hoboken I walked home in a slight drizzle. Bill was home and working on lines from a play so he wasn’t really available so once again I internalize everything.

I stewed in my juices as he whispered lines to himself. He offered to go into the other room to do his lines but I couldn’t be bothered with watching TV. Around 11:00 I turned on the news and it was the usual bullshit.

Bill went to bed soon after that and I watched a bit of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hollows. It was more intense than I anticipated and wound up watching half of it before going to bed. And that was all it was going to bed.

The things that race through my head before actual sleep astounds me. This time I was thinking about how I played Jacob Marley in A Christmas Carol, and how Sister Carla, my 8th Grade teacher trying to get me to project my voice without yelling. I didn’t go over well and when I was actually on stage very few people could hear me, though I heard Sister Carla behind the curtain saying ‘Louder, louder’.

After an hour of laying in bed I got up and took a few melatonin tablets which didn’t work right away and I don’t think I fell asleep until 4:00, merely three hours after my first attempt. That meant I slept in which was nice but disrupted any plans that I may have had, which weren’t much to begin with.

So a little before noon I got out of bed, made some coffee and stepped into the shower. Not much to eat so that meant I had to go to the supermarket. Bill was off to do something and I came back with groceries and things that we would need.

I watched the rest of Deathly Hallows and enjoyed it a lot. I was tempted to go to the movie theater in Hoboken to watch Part 2 but the only available screening was in 3D and I didn’t want to pay $15.00 for a pair of glasses that I would need to return after the show.

I didn’t do much of anything really. I was pretty much depressed so I took a xanax which made me sleepy, so I slept for a few hours. Then I woke up, had something to eat and went back to bed for another hour. No desire to go out and interact and it looked like it was going to rain anyway. Just a long slow day filled with remorse basically.

I couldn’t even tell you what time Bill came home but he was pretty much out of it. We didn’t have much to say to each other. No reason just not much to say. He went to bed soon after coming home and I once again stayed awake.

Now in the shop it’s been another long day. Calvin, Thomas and myself manning the boards. I started out with a good sale and that was it. After that it was mainly tire kickers for me, people that just look and look and take your time and leave without buying anything. Now there is about an hour left and I just want to go home. The economic climate is worse today than it was last week, so the mantra continues. I can’t believe how badly people treat one another. As bad as I feel I never treat people as badly as I have seen people do.

In June I had an interview with a local Hoboken establishment. The woman I met, Faith seemed nice enough. I noted that she had a slight European accent. The interview went well and she mentioned that she would let me know either way, whether or not I get the job. That was OK by me.

She mentioned that she was going on vacation and would let me know when she returned. I called once when she was on vacation and today I called again. They asked for my name when they answered and I gave it twice since they didn’t hear me the first time.

After being on hold for about 30 seconds, someone picks up. I ask for Faith and they say that they are Faith. No distinct European accent, this was more like someone from Jackson Street in Hoboken. And they were quite surly, not polite like Faith was.

No this fake Faith was quite grouchy and told me that the manager of the establishment was going to be sending out letters probably today. The letters of rejection. I expect to get one soon. It’s just as well. I had supported this establishment in the past, writing letters on their behalf.

But if they’re going to be thinking that I am just as stupid as they are, I don’t plan on supporting them ever again. Another business that won’t be getting my business.


Part 1, Intense.


I Can’t Make You Love Me

Well I am writing earlier than usual, at least earlier than yesterday. Yesterday was so pleasant, a day at the beach with my Corinne and Meghan & Rob. Today was bound to disappoint. And it wasn’t really disappointing, just a letdown, a 180 degree turn from being out of Hoboken to being stuck in Hoboken with the Seaside Park blues again.

I slept really really well last night and woke to Bill kissing me goodbye once again and telling me how much he loved me. I do the same then on the rare occasion when I am leaving and Bill is still in bed. I am lucky in that I don’t have to remove a sleep apnea mask to kiss him good bye.

I got out of bed an hour or so later. A shower has been thrilling lately since the drain actually works and I don’t have to stand there in 2 or 3 inches of dirty water. Then some coffee and checking emails before I headed out to the supermarket for some foodstuffs.

The kitchen window has been closed most of the time due to the squirrel invasion but the squirrel has not been around much lately. It could also be from the black pepper I poured on the window ledge. I looked up online and found that squirrels are not fans of pepper. Specifically cayenne pepper but the entry said black pepper does the trick and so far it’s been working just fine.

I saw my latest favorite cashier, Isis who had injured her leg riding on a motorcycle with her boyfriend/husband. I came home to a nice breakfast and after some surfing and TV, it was laundry time. Not too much laundry but enough for 2 loads.

I decided to visit the bibliothèque after finishing The Harvard Psychedelic Club which was a fun fast read, so much so that I felt like I was partaking of the lysergic at times which I hadn’t done in quite some time. I finished the book on Pier A and on the way to the bibliothèque I stopped by the Guitar Bar where I saw Mr. Wonderful. He and the funniest girl alive, along with daughter Ruby are going upstate on Saturday to see daughter Lily off to college.

Tears will undoubtedly be shed. I am excited and nervous for Lily as is Jim and Meghan. Jim mentioned that Ruby is the one to be worried about since she and Lily have been so tight ever since they were babies and toddlers.

Some more walking around Hoboken, staying on the shady side of street including a walk past where Julio works. I hoped he would have the time to come out and chat but after a pic of his building’s door sent to Julio’s cellphone was sent and no reply seemed forthcoming I continued strolling and eventually wound up back home.

It’s been a slow day, I miss being at the beach and staring at the horizon and enjoying a nice cigar. I did speak with Bill and we are planning on another beach excursion, perhaps on the 15th of August. I did make plans to go to the NY Aquarium with Corinne, but I think a better time might be had at Sandy Hook and with Bill driving, she wouldn’t even have to drive for a change.

I think it has the possibility to actually happen. I hope it does.







I Can Feel A Hot One

A day off and it’s been somewhat busy. After shaking off the strange dream of me trying to kill Rosemary’s Baby I got out of bed and started my day. I woke up with I Can See For Miles by the Who in my head.

A shower, a shave, some breakfast and coffee and soon I was off to the bibliothèque to find out what the hell is going on with my library card. I dropped off some CD’s last week and they were still on my card and in danger of being late. Bob Dylan’s Witmark Demos (Volume 9 of the Bootleg Series), The Scissor Sisters Night Work, the Jimi Hendrix Experience- Are You Experienced and the motion picture soundtrack of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The quite helpful librarian took a look and saw they were back in stock and dutifully removed them from my online library card. I love my bibliothèque.

From there it was off to the supermarket to buy groceries. Then it was home for a spell, did some cooking for tonight as well as for the week and also made some tuna salad for lunch for when I go back to work tomorrow and the days following.

Right now it looks like a major storm is approaching from the west. Yesterday, one of the bright spots in the day of staring into the abyss was seeing a hawk flying above the border of Hoboken and Weehawken, above the area called the Shades, in the shadow of Troy Tower. It took a few seconds to recognize it as a hawk and not merely a sea gull and yes it was majestic to watch. It was the high point of my day. I neglected to write about it and wish I had a taken a photograph of it.

And now it is raining.

I was also thinking about my education today and why I didn’t continue onto college. Would things have turned out differently? Probably. I had 13 years from kindergarten to senior year of high school which was mainly spent trying not to fail and get a passing grade.

I remember in junior year of high school, Sister Reginald telling the class that we were there because we had to be, but when we continued onto college there would be no one forcing us to go to class. Me being the type of person to not do something that he doesn’t want to do, had an epiphany and realized that it would be a waste of money since I loathed education and more than likely would be skipping classes.

For some reason I also remember a classmate, Don Francis being made to stand out in the hallway for something that he had done and slowly unzipping his zipper with a smile on his face while staring at me in class as he looked through the door. Don Francis left my school that year and I never saw him again though perhaps if he told me to go to college with him I might have, even though I believe he was straight.

So from Mrs. Burson to Mrs. Talamini to Sister Carla to Sister Reginald I did not enjoy school, going through it with much difficulty and when I graduated high school it made more sense to go from part time to full time working for Harcourt Brace Jovanovich where I worked in the college department and read a lot of the books on my own time that my classmates were paying hundreds of dollars to own.

Who knows, perhaps they bought the books I had already read. In any event, I don’t have any regrets about not continuing my education and with the employment situation today and knowing a few college and university graduates who are currently out of work it doesn’t seem to make much of a difference anyway.

And still I delete hundred, perhaps thousands of spam subscribers to this here blog. It’s an ongoing process and if I don’t stay on top of it, it turns into several pages of names and email addresses to be deleted. I don’t know what will happen if I do not delete, but I am more comfortable with the three subscribers that I have.

So thank you Rand, HarbCard and Denali Kid for subscribing. And I guess some recognition should also go to lazy teat Greg who reads this blog every day. Well scratch Denali Kid off the list. Just sent an email and it came back as undeliverable.








I Blew a Little Blast on My Whistle

Well I just finished having a nice dinner of Penne, Pesto and chicken. I used to eat it frequently but with my schedule of getting home too late for a home cooked meal it simply hasn’t happened in the past few months. I made a bunch yesterday and reheated it today. It was better tonight than it was yesterday. It’s all about the Goya Adobe seasoning I guess. I didn’t have any yesterday but on one of my visits to the supermarket I made sure to pick some up.

Last night I sent an email to Joe Monaco. The useless recruiter who calls once a year with a job offer and when I express interest he says he will go through with it. Then I never hear from him again for another year. I’ve been sending him emails, a few a week, just checking in and saying hello and asking if there was any word regarding the last position he mentioned, a job in Hoboken with an occasional day in Manhattan. Sounded good to me yet all the emails I send are never responded to. So last night I wrote asking him to please reply to said email. Almost 24 hours later there is still no response.

I also touched base with my cousin, saying hello and reminding them of my ongoing job search. Not looking for anything big, something in the bowels of the company, away from people, just doing my job, Monday through Friday. That’s basically it, I want a straight Monday through Friday job, 9 to 5 or thereabouts. Not looking for big bucks just something to help pay the bills that don’t entail standing in dress shoes on a cement floor for 9 hours a day. Last I heard they were in London last month and would get back to me when they returned. That was in May. Tomorrow is the middle of June. I am holding back, not wanting to be pushy.

Today was a busy day again, just not as busy as yesterday. Not much shredding, just laundry, more cleaning the apartment and picking up dry cleaning. Bill came home after having a headache all day. It was diminished by the time he got home and his plan to go right to bed was somewhat fulfilled, meaning he slept for a couple of hours. He asked me to wake him up at 9:00 which I did after dropping off some CD’s at the bibliothèque. Yesterday I took out Led Zeppelin III and a collection of the Chemical Brothers called Brotherhood, as well as a DVD of Dinner at Eight, which was reviewed on YouTube by the Tired Old Queen At The Movies.

Today I went back and took out the Jimi Hendrix Experience, Are You Experienced, Bob Dylan’s Bootleg Series Volume 9, the Witmark Demos, the latest Scissor Sisters’ cd, Night Work and the movie soundtrack to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Now the pots and pans are cleaned as well as the dishes. Clothes are hanging on hangers and clothing racks in the kitchen and the bathroom. Bill took off from the day job to drive to Atlantic City to attend a bus safety seminar. There have been several bus accidents since the beginning of the year and just the other day, a bus hit a motorcyclist which ended in the motorcyclist being killed at the Lincoln Tunnel helix.

I also responded to James Dolan, the archbishop of the NY diocese who came out against NY State’s upcoming vote on same sex marriage, saying it was for procreation (tough shit sterile couples and older folks) and the right for children to grow up with a mom and dad. Yeah that’s going really well since so many opposite sex couples get divorced or have their marriages annulled by that stupid ass holy roman catholic church. My comments are awaiting moderation and I have my doubts that they will be published, so here they are.

If you want to read Dolan’s missive, you’ll have to search it out for yourself since I will not provide a link from the protector of child molesters.

It’s a civil rights issue, certainly not a religious issue. What about the right for a child to be raised by a mom and dad? Clearly this ignores annulments and divorce. How come you do not speak up about that? What will this ‘intrusion’ do to your ‘common good’? Perhaps it will help you recognize that same sex couples deserve the equal protections under the law, that are afforded to opposite sex couples. But I expect too much.
The NY State same sex marriage bill has a provision that religious groups will NOT be forced to perform or bless same sex marriages.

It’s time to get a fresher horse, since the dead horse you have been beating with that lie is decomposing quite rapidly.

And what is true & correct- is the fact that your stance defies logic and common sense. Opposite sex couples who cannot procreate should not be able to get married with your logic. It’s a civil rights issue, certainly not a religious issue.
Who’s side would your savior be on? The side denying fairness and basic civil rights or the side that accepts and supports the same?