Tag Archives: Guitar playing

I Love Your Smile

It’s a Monday. I hope you all had a good Sunday. Mine was alright, nothing too special. Just another day, yet a day when I went to town on my fingernails. I’ve had a nail biting habit for most of my life and finally got it under control until yesterday. Fingernails in mouth. I didn’t bite my fingernails but I did clip them pretty low. I don’t know why, a nervous habit perhaps. Luckily I still had some Mavala, a nail polish that is designed to stop one from biting their nails. It’s a bad habit and once I got home I was able to apply it to my fingers.

It’s a nasty habit and I’m hopeful it’s behind me once again. Perhaps it was spurred on from playting the guitar and needing to trim my nails. I usually have a nail file or a clipper nearby but still there are moments when it wasn’t enough. I wish I knew why I felt the way I did so I could avoid situations like that. But I don’t and they’re growing back as they should. I always felt there should be a support group for nail biters, a Nail Biters Anonymous perhaps.

A group of people sitting on chairs in a circle or however those anonymous groups do their meetings. “Hello my name is mumble mumble” “What? Speak up. We can’t understand you. Take your fingers from your mouth!” That’s as far as I have gotten in my plan for a support group for nail biters. A good routine maybe for somewhere down the line.

I walked around the waterfront again, strolling the promenade. Dark clouds seemed to follow my every step but I had hope that they would roll on by. I sat under a tree on a bench and read some more from the Love & Rockets collection, The Education of Hopey Glass. It wasn’t all about Hopey and it was once again stories I had read years ago. I read about Ray Dominguez and his regret for splitting up with Maggie Chascarillio, the mechanic. It’s bittersweet, how romances fade all set with a punk rock and comic books backdrop.

As I sat and read I looked out on the Hudson River and saw a rain storm, a wall of rain steadily approaching. It came and since I was under a tree I kept relatively dry. I knew it wasn’t going to last, staying dry, so I got out my umbrella and put my books away and stood there for about 20 minutes waiting for the heavy downpour to let up somewhat. I was hungry and determined to get a slice of pizza so I walked over to the boulevard and stood in a bus shelter for the rain to stop.

It did and I was able to get my slice and bring it home without getting wet. And that was it for yesterday, just watched TV after that and went to bed a little after Bill turned in. This morning was a beautiful morning and I did some grocery shopping. Then I was back on the waterfront, strumming my guitar. I’m having a better time busking lately than I did in previous attempts. Tariq made an appearance, then stepping off saying he’d be back.

He did come back with a sketchy character friend. Tariq didn’t play guitar, seemed to be nodding off before walking with his sketchy friend to find some food. I told him I would be leaving around 4:30 and he said he would be back so we could play together. I left at 4:45 with no Tariq in sight. I did enjoy playing for the toddlers again, who get so excited hearing music and seeing a guitar that they do a little up and down dance while squealing with delight and constantly saying hello.

It really makes my day.

here comes the rain








I love your smile

I’m a Flirt

I love being Chris Frantz Facebook friend. I sent him a message earlier today, saying that I love the Beatles, but Remain in Light is my favorite album of all time.

He replied that he too loves the Beatles and went so far as to say that if there were no Beatles, there would be no Remain in Light. What a nice guy.

I also found out via a mutual friend of Chaz and me, Dave McKenzie, that Chaz encountered the geriatric accountant/sex worker on Friday. Same spiel, same general location.

I am enjoying my day off from work today. Did laundry, ran some errands, bought some groceries. Also played guitar for the first time in 4 weeks and to my surprise I sounded good.

I am thinking of playing by the river today. That didn’t work out since it started to rain a bit. Glad to know I can still play All My Loving and Shame Shame Shame though.

Had a nice phone conversation with Connie, who sounded happy & healthy. Her sister Jennifer is going through some rough times though, so good thoughts and vibes should be sent to her in Oxnard Shores.

Connie is excited about the party in a few weeks. Going to be here before I know it. Pasta, salad and pizza is the menu. Perhaps someone can make some cakes. And by someone I mean a few people. Chocolate is preferred, of course. My sister in law Elaine used to make a nice pistachio cake.

I did visit the bibliothèque today. I do miss going there. They liked my new haircut. I picked up Donnie Darko from the bibliothèque today as well as a CD set of Ella Fitzgerald. Also ran into the Patrick Murphy there. I guess he’s living in Hoboken.

I had plans to meet up with Chaz today but he was ankled to his apartment waiting for PSE&G to arrive. As far as I know he’s still waiting there in the dark. And he is. I just got a text from him, saying they’ll be there by 11:00, which is just crazy in my book.

Looking out the window I can see dark clouds on the horizon. It’s supposed to rain tonight. I guess the drops that fell earlier when I was headed to the Pier A area were just a preview.

With my new ever changing schedule at work I easily lose track of whatever day it is. Today is Tuesday. Took me all day to figure that out.

I guess I’ll watch Donnie Darko tonight while uploading Ella Fitzgerald. Nothing else to do. I could watch my clothes dry on the racks and hanging in the bathroom.

I already have my suit ready for tomorrow. It’s supposed to be another scorcher. Not looking forward to the heat. The 9:30 to 7:30 shift tomorrow, with Raymond, Sean and Don Birch, Marcus in for the first half of the day. It should be an interesting day again.

The New York State legislature raised the cigar tax from 46% to 75%, which is better than raising it to 90%. We’ll see what happens next. I have no clue obviously but still I am a bit nervous being the last hire for the shop.

And now the rain falls steadily on Hoboken streets and rooftops.

Peter Gabriel – The Power Of The Heart

It Was a Pleasure Then

Well I just got back from strumming the guitar by Pier A in Hoboken for what may very well be the last time. In the 6 months I’ve been doing that, I think I have gotten somewhat better playing the guitar. I made about $6.00 the whole time I’ve been doing that.

It’s a good thing I wasn’t in it for the money. It does get discouraging though, being ignored. Each time I would strum by the pier, I would post my intentions on Facebook, holding out the hope that someone that I know would stop by.

Rand and Lisa stopped by and Juan Melli. No one else as far as I can remember. And no one stopped by today. Maybe they’re out of town or doing something fun.

Before I headed out this afternoon, I asked Bill to walk by when he headed back to the train since he’s driving a bus again tonight but not even he stopped by. I wasn’t expecting him to sit down, just a passing by, a hello would have been nice. He was somewhat groggy from napping so it more than likely did not register.

It was a beautiful day for playing and I had a good 20 minutes before that bacteria ridden spawn of Satan, Mister Softee pulled up about 15 feet behind me with it’s diesel engine drowning me out. Moving wasn’t an option since I had settled in, so I stood my ground, or rather sat on a bench.

For me, when I am walking around with my iPod on I usually take the ear buds out when I see a busker playing. If not giving them money, some respect should suffice. But that’s me and in the time I’ve been strumming in public, hardly anyone else does it.

Walk by, stay plugged in and do not look at that guy playing guitar. Not very encouraging. I don’t know what I’m looking for and I suppose playing guitar in public is not it. It’s safe to guess that my public performance career is over.

The anxiety I’ve felt with regards to the new job has waned, replaced by the feeling of ‘at least it’s something to do’.

Of course on the way home I see notices for a Tom Waits evening at a local pub. It’s a benefit and people are encouraged to sing Tom Waits songs. That’s something that would be right up my alley but now I have a job and I don’t know what the hours would be so it’s likely that I wouldn’t be able to attend much less perform.

And the performing thing is iffy since I do require a modicum of physical encouragement, and by physical I mean having a friendly face there for reassurance.

Today wasn’t all bad playing by the pier. I did make fleeting friends with a bloke named Dave who was with his toddler daughter. The toddler was transfixed and also terribly shy with my guitar playing.

If a toddler is fascinated by the guitar I usually hold it out for them to give it a strum while I make a chord formation but she was hiding behind her father as I played So It Goes by Nick Lowe which Dave knew.

We talked for a few minutes about vinyl records and Maxwells before he and his daughter were on their way.

Maybe I’m just grouchy from not eating. I just ate and I do feel a bit better. But I am still discouraged with my guitar playing.

Perhaps it will be best that I stay inside and play from now on, like I’ve been doing for the past 25 years. I think I’d rather be alone at home than alone with people around. I can safely say that I’ve gotten over my fear of playing guitar in front of people.

Bill just called to check in. My suggestion that he walk by on the way to the train did not register as I suspected. I didn’t bring it up and neither did he. He did note the melancholy in my voice and asked what was wrong.

I told him my disappointment with playing today and in general. He tried to be supportive but for me it was too late. I explained (like I did above) that I’ve gotten better with my guitar playing and my fear of playing in front of people has largely subsided.

To Bill that wasn’t enough, not enough of a reason to play in the first place and how I hoped for a friendly face to stop by and say hi did not make sense to him at all. My feeling of loneliness escapes him as he drives down to Atlantic City, leaving me alone once again.

I think the lack of encouragement for playing guitar throughout my life was a major factor in my hesitance to play outside my apartment. The feeling of not being good enough, from showing someone a song I had learned and playing it for them and then hearing, ‘That’s not how it goes’ even though it sounded just fine to me. And my exclusion from some friends projects was also a contribution.

That’s how I feel right now. Maybe in an hour I’ll feel better. Maybe tomorrow. In any event I wouldn’t mind this weekend being over.

Crazy Baldheads

I am convinced the local supermarket, the A&P is truly the supermarket of the damned. I go there frequently since it’s basically around the block, but just about every time I go there I get frustrated.

It’s been like this for years. The cashiers are usually empty headed or quite surly. There are certain ones that I avoid just because dealing with them is so unpleasant.

An acquaintance that I ran into there a few months ago suggested I get a job there but I think I have too many enemies in the store already.

I’ve had cashiers request my credit card when paying for groceries when they decided to pull rank, but were so blinded by their anger, didn’t notice that I had given them a different card.

I’ve even gone online and complained about them at the A&P website as well as local listings. And they’re not cheap either. The Shop Rite which is a few blocks away is larger and cheaper, but since the A&P is closer I go there.

I think that is going to change.

Today I did some grocery shopping and went to buy some Land O Lakes eggs. I have a coupon and the eggs, 50¢ off. I walk to where the eggs are usually located and couldn’t find them.

A few other eggs for sale, but not Land O Lakes. They used to have Disney Eggs on sale but even if I was going to buy those, they weren’t around either.

I ask one of the store employees where the Land O Lakes eggs are and he tells me they’ve been discontinued. That made me wonder if the chickens stopped laying eggs. Then he asks his supervisor whats up with the Land O Lakes eggs and he says they’ve been discontinued, then says they stopped carrying them.

Odd.

I finish my shopping and head to the register and then head to the courtesy counter and ask the girl behind the counter, ‘What’s up with the eggs?’ She says that she and her husband are trying to have a baby but nothing’s happening yet. She picks up the phone and asks Joe Schmo to call the courtesy counter.

Joe Schmo is the guy I was just talking to. Joe Schmo calls her back and tells her they’re not carrying them anymore.

I walk home groceries in the bag that I bring with me to go grocery shopping and climb the 4 flights. Also had a big container of distilled water for Bill’s apnea mask. I come home put everything away and call up Shop Rite which does sell Land O Lakes Eggs.

I get my bag and head out once again. A totally different shopping experience. Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John was playing on the PA system. Plenty of eggs available. I leave a happy consumer.

Come home and an old Hoboken friend, now on Facebook sent me an email, a secret Facebook group she wants to tell me about. I click the link and find it’s a trap.

It asks if I want to invite friends and I don’t and it goes ahead anyhow. I immediately post on Facebook that if you get a Facebook invite from me, delete it immediately. I hope I got to everyone in time.

On my Facebook pages it says Harpy and the other friend ‘like’ the secret group. Which to me, seems bogus.

Headed out to Pier A to strum the guitar but despite of being in a better mood than previous days, I couldn’t really connect today with the guitar. Plus it was a bit cooler out today than it’s been and I was in shorts.

So basically it’s been that kind of day.

I do have three DVD’s from the Hoboken Bibliothèque. Smoke by Wayne Wang, Where the Wild Things Are by Spike Jonez and what I’ve been trying to get for the longest time, Black Dynamite. So I guess that’s what I’ll be watching tonight.

I also have a book on No Wave written by Thurston Moore and Byron Coley and that’s a lot of fun.

Tomorrow Bill and I are being included in Pride Magazine’s article on interracial same sex couples. I’m sure I’ll tell you all about that tomorrow. Bill was also interviewed by BBC Sussex last night. He listens to it at work when he’s working late.

Every time I see that Michael Kay commercial for Kidde CO detectors, I always root for CO.
Photo-0166

Keep the Streets Empty For Me

It’s a Thursday. Pretty nice day out. Not too hot, a nice breeze. Can’t really complain. The blues I had earlier this week have fallen by the wayside.

Perhaps that is from talking to some friends on the phone. Unfortunately they seem to not be having a good time. Relationships on shaky ground for some. It’s a position I am glad to not find myself in.

Things with Bill and I are OK. He was driving me crazy and I harbored some resentment but then I realized that you really shouldn’t hang onto that for too long. Communicate early and often as Bobby Risotto was fond of saying.

Interesting things happening within the ranks of the rank, the anti-gay movement, specifically the Focus on the Family ‘tards. It seems the Florida attorney general paid $87000 to an expert witness to speak against same sex couples adopting children.

The ‘swipe is named George Rekers. The news was brought to my attention by Joe Jervis of Joe.My.God. It’s now an international story, as this was from the BBC: George Rekers was photographed at Miami international airport last month with a young man whom he allegedly met through a gay website called Rentboy.com.

Rekers claims that due to surgery he’s unable to lift his luggage when traveling. So instead of hiring an assistant he decided to go to Rentboy and hire a young man to travel with him to Europe for 10 days, all expenses paid.

When confronted about this Rekers stated that he is just like Jesus, hanging out with prostitutes and showing them the error of their sinful ways. The hustler stated that they had sex and Rekers seems to be a bottom.

From the BBC: Mr Rekers sits on the board of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH, an organization dedicated to changing the sexuality of gay people). I guess Rekers was unable to change his sexuality.

I am amused by the whole situation. Stories about anti-gay people being caught in gay situations, like Larry Craig and his toe tapping routine, Roy Ashburn being arrested for DUI after leaving a gay bar and now Rekers after being the expert witness in a case against same sex couples adopting children.

In case you were wondering, the profile on RentBoy.com describes the hustler as “sensual” and “up for anything”. Of course he also offers a graphic description of his genitals. I should have known that I needed to revamp my resume and forget about Monster or Career Builders.

Rentboy would have been the way to go. Live and learn I suppose. Versatility apparently has it’s place.

I spent about 2 hours by Pier A strumming the guitar. I think I am getting better with it. I should be, an hour a day is what is recommended and here I am strumming for more than that. Be Bop A Lula and C’mon Everybody are being added to the repertoire.

I usually strum by Pier A, across the street from Club H Fitness. On nice days sometimes a personal trainer will take their trainee outside and do whatever it is they’re suppose to do. Just as I started playing Hercules by Elton John, out comes a trainer with his client stretching and lunging and doing reverse crunches right next to me.

Most odd, but very easy to ignore.

Anti Gay Larry Craig, arrested for soliciting an undercover cop in a MPLS restroom

Anti Gay Larry Craig, arrested for soliciting an undercover cop in a MPLS restroom


Anti Gay Roy Ashburn, busted for DUI after leaving a gay bar where he had been drinking all night

Anti Gay Roy Ashburn, busted for DUI after leaving a gay bar where he had been drinking all night


Anti Gay George Rekers who received 87k for fighting against same sex couples adopting children. Hired male prostitute for 10 day all exp paid trip to Europe, saying prostitute was there to carry his luggage.

Anti Gay George Rekers who received 87k for fighting against same sex couples adopting children. Hired male prostitute for 10 day all exp paid trip to Europe, saying prostitute was there to carry his luggage.

Keep A Knockin’

Just woke up from a nap. I know, I know, you don’t have a chance to nap and here I am writing about taking a nap. Life just isn’t fair. But you’re probably working (at least when I write this) and I’m not. And taking a nap is an excellent way to not spend money.

Lately I’ve had the blues. It happens from time to time. This time for me it’s a two pronged blues, or perhaps a two chord blues. Partly because from the approach of Mother’s Day. You’d think 19 years would give some relief and maybe it has, but there’s a pang of remorse involved.

Emails and commercials telling me to honor Mom this weekend. Each year around this time my life is tinged with blue.

I took the guitar out and played by the river. At a different spot than usual. Closer to 4th Street then 1st Street and Pier A where I usually play. It was quieter up to a point. Then they started doing some construction on the new pier that is being built and I wound up walking down towards Pier A.

I haven’t seen Tariq lately. Don’t know if he’s in NY or if his girlfriend kicked him out. Last time I saw him he mentioned that he and Francine had been arguing.

I was going to take a walk over by the Hoboken/Jersey City border to see if I could see the baby seal that’s been spotted but opted not to.

I did play Ohio by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young since today is the 40th anniversary of when the Ohio State National Guard opened fire on students at Kent State who were protesting Nixon’s incursion into Cambodia. 4 students killed, 9 wounded, one paralyzed.

Kent_State_massacre

And of course those National Guardsmen are probably muffin tops, having a beer with their families. Who knows what they’re thinking, if they’re thinking at all. I’m not sure anyone recognized the chords I was playing and I probably would have sung ‘Ohio’ if there was some accompaniment.

I haven’t heard anything about it being the 40th anniversary on the TV today. I was 7 years old at the time so I really don’t remember anything about it except for Walter Cronkite reporting it on the 7:00 News.

It wasn’t all sturm und drang since I also played ‘Hi Hi Hi’ by Paul McCartney. I played guitar for about 90 minutes before I gave up and came home.

It’s a good thing I don’t depend on people throwing change into my guitar case since I’d be in big trouble. I don’t mind since I’m not in it for the money, though it would be nice. I still have the three dollar bills that someone threw into my case a month or so ago in my song bag.

Symbolism mixed in between song sheets.

Then I came home and didn’t do much at all. My timing was good since it started to rain a bit, a little while after I came home. And that is when I decided to take a nap.

Now I’m here, looking at the rooftops of Hoboken. Looking forward to Lost tonight. Three episodes left, which is really two episodes since the last episode is going to be a two hour extravaganza.

Still sending out resumes, still not hearing anything in return. Sent a thank you email to the people who met with me last Wednesday, but no response from them either.

Keep Quiet

It’s a Saturday and that’s alright. For fighting I guess but for relaxing as well.

Bill made it to Atlantic City and back safely. We spoke last night, he asked if I was feeling better. I’m sure he said better and not bitter. I said I was fine. He was headed to catch a couple of hours of sleep before he headed back to North Jersey.

Last night it seemed like time was crawling. A quarter of an hour took forever to pass. I don’t know why it was. I wasn’t going anywhere, wasn’t rushing. Nothing really caught my eye or held my attention for long.

Watched Mr Smarmy, Bill Maher on HBO and as usual he was meh. I mainly stayed up to watch the Simpsons at midnight before I turned in. Melatonin to the rescue, slept well and found it difficult to wake up.

Bill came home with bagels and the paper saving me a trip outside.

It was a beautiful day, 80° range. Before Bill went to sleep he asked me if I was going cycling. I hadn’t even considered that but no, no cycling. He asked if I was busking and I was more than likely going to do that.

I don’t make money from it so I don’t call it busking. I call it ‘strumming my guitar’ nowadays.

Wrote down the chords for Life on Mars before heading out.

Stopped by the bibliothèque where I returned the CD’s from yesterday as well as returning The Rutles 2: Can’t Buy Me Lunch. That was a stinker. I can’t believe how bad it was.

Was Eric Idle that strapped for cash? Was there such a demand for it? Just clips and outtakes from All You Need is Cash, no participation from anyone else from the original. I didn’t even watch the whole thing. Stopped midway through and dropped it off.

I did pick up a collection of Bowie covers by Seu Jorge. I had a few of the tracks from a few years ago and was glad to have them all in one collection. Also picked up the CD of the Original Broadway Cast of In The Heights, which Bill and I saw last year.

I walked over to Pier A and strummed my guitar. Instead of using my guitar case like I usually do, I used a guitar bag, the kind you carry on your back. I was wary since I figured it would go out of tune easier than it would in the case and I can’t tune a guitar without an electronic tuner to save my life.

A pitch pipe is useless to me. I remember when I received my first guitar years and years and years ago I also received a Mel Bay how to play guitar book and a pitch pipe. That basically ended any interest in guitar playing for about 30 years. That was it.

No one showed me how to play a guitar until years later. And the guitar I originally got just collected dust.

I did buy an Epiphone guitar from some former friend and bought a Fender Super Bullet 3 electric guitar from Sam Ash and a Fender Acoustic 210 from We Buy Guitars on 48th Street, from the one & only Jim Mastro himself. I wound up selling the Epiphone to my ex-roommate, Jimmy Lee.

Eventually I got some guitar lessons from Mike Carlucci who was in a local band, Winter Hours/Ward 8 years ago. He had the right approach, teaching me songs I wanted to learn, Velvets and Television instead of Old Brown Jug (which I still don’t know how to play). Mike is one of the better guitar players out there and genuinely nice guy.

And as I thought, when I got to Pier A my guitar’s tuning was a bit off. Nothing terrible but I noticed. I was there about 15 minutes doing my best when the Mister Softee truck pulled up about 50 feet away. That was irritating.

Usually people complain about the Mister Softee theme that plays ad infinitum, but that was silent. What drove me crazy was the sound of the diesel engine keeping the ice cream cold and the bacteria fresh.

I tried tuning my guitar to the standard tuning but I was overpowered by the sound of the engine, which happened to be in the key of B.

It’s a good thing I don’t depend on money when I play. Lot’s of people out on Pier A, sunbathers and dog walkers and babies in strollers. All ignoring me. I couldn’t say they could even hear me over the sound of the diesel engine anyhow.

No one to play against so after an hour I conceded victory to the bacteria machine on wheels. I just sat and read the New Yorker and smoked a cigar until 3:45.

I asked Bill what time he wanted to get up from his sleep and he said 4:00PM. I made my way home and found Bill wide awake, getting ready to drive to Atlantic City again.

Yet another entry that I had great reservations about writing.

Tomorrow is the Hoboken Fart & Mucus Festival. Fountains of Wayne are headlining. I don’t know if I’ll go. I usually go with Rand but he’s in Lucerne, Switzerland on some Jack Kirby type business.

May Day.

Found this pic last nite online. Never saw it before. I think it's a beauty.

Found this pic last nite online. Never saw it before. I think it's a beauty.

Photo-0174

Hold On Hold On

Well it’s a Friday today and it’s a gorgeous day. Last night wasn’t so bad either. When I was home alone I meant. It was all good, watching TV, comedies on NBC Community, Parks and Recreation, The Office and 30 Rock.

And actually I think Community was the funniest last night. Parks and Recreation was so so as usual. The Office would be in second place I think and 30 Rock in third place. Sometimes they just try too hard.

Not enough Jack Donaghy and way too much Tracy Jordan. I think the opening photo during the credits of Tracy Morgan is too much. He is truly the weak link on the show. Then again he is the luckiest guy in show business since he generally sucks. I sometimes wonder if Tracy Morgan has something on Tina Fey hence his being on the show, because it certainly can’t be talent.

After all that I wound up watching some clips of director Kevin Smith talking about spending a week out in Paisley Park with Prince. Got the link from Harpy and watched all four installments. I thought it was hilarious.

The news came on after that and as usual I watch until the weather report is finished then I change the channel generally if I am home alone and I was up to a point.

Bill came home from wherever it was he was at. He was in a pretty good mood, happy to be home. He loves the fact that I’ve shaved the goatee. I hate not having a goatee. I think I look like a lesbian without it.

I mentioned to Bill that I was planning to grow the goatee back but wary that it might come back with white hair. Bill was quite exuberant when he came through the door and his exuberance carried over in the manner of him chanting ‘White hair white hair’.

It was all fun and games then. I faux protested and threatened to drop the H bomb on him, ‘H’ meaning hair. He’s thinning on top and the sides are speckled with gray hairs. It went on like this for a few minutes, Bill would say something and then I would refute whatever it was that he said.

Apparently he was hurt by each successful refutation, so much so that he snapped at me saying that he was trying to work on his laptop, when only a minute before he was joining in on the fun.

It’s similar to some words we had a few months ago, where were were having a heated discussion about something and Bill lost it, saying that he can’t argue with me since I am always right. Or words to that effect.

I just happen to use reason when I argue something. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be much use for reason on the other side sometimes. So whatever boisterousness that was happening quickly deflated leaving me with hurt feelings and resentment.

Sometimes one vibe is better than two vibes and I was having a much better time when Bill wasn’t home last night.

Yes he drives me crazy and last night he drove me crazy again. I spent time and energy avoiding him whenever possible. He went to sleep as usual and I couldn’t have cared less.

I’m still resentful and maintained no contact with him today. He did apologize this morning as he was leaving for work but to half asleep me it made no difference. Even if I was fully awake this morning it would have made no difference.

The time for the apology would have been last night. And last night, or rather yesterday, the reason for my ambivalence about most things was because I took a Xanax in the afternoon, so I was definitely in quite a mellow mood last night.

He’s driving to Atlantic City tonight and I am relieved.

I think I had some good guitar playing going on today by the river. Ran into a Facebook friend, Juan Melli with whom I share mutual friends. Never met him before in the flesh.

Nice guy, took the picture below. He’s also a bicycling enthusiast so perhaps a ride will be underway this summer. Juan asked for a song so I played All My Loving which is committed to memory and Instant Karma.

He rode off after a little while and I played Sweet Little Sixteen and Maybe I’m Amazed among others.

Picked up Hot Chip- One Life Stand and MGMT Congratulations from the bibliothèque today as well as The Rutles DVD- Can’t Buy Me Lunch, the sequel to All You Need is Cash.

An evening alone is what I am looking forward to.

photo by Juan Melli

photo by Juan Melli

Rip It Up

Yet another day where I find myself not wanting to write, but compelled to do so. I have a few threads that I could possibly make something out of. It could be a stretch, it could be patchwork. It could be a rhyme and it could be without reason.

Last night had dinner with Julio & Stine for Alexander’s birthday. Some kind of bratwurst, potatoes salad, chicken salad, homemade rye bread and salad with some wine and home made birthday cake.

We sang Happy Birthday to Alexander who shouted ‘No! No!’ throughout. I brought my guitar and strummed a bit, but Alexander didn’t care, not when there were crayons and Thomas the Tank Engine and friends to draw all of his attention. Julio and Stine appreciated it though.

I thought the wine buzz would be enough to make for a restful sleep but that was not to be. I didn’t take a melatonin before sleep and therefore didn’t sleep all that well.

For some reason I decided not to go into the kitchen and take one, so stubborn I was with myself. Lot’s of tossing and turning and in the midst of that I jacked up my knee a bit. Just made for some difficulty when I walked.

The whole ‘something’s not right with that knee’ feeling.

I did go out and play guitar today, played some Specials songs, naturally. Do Nothing and Gangsters. As expected no one paid much attention, but some drunkards settled in at the next bench. They really enjoyed my playing and would applaud after each song.

Then they would bicker and one would walk away. Then he would come back and sit. Eventually the two of them walked away for a while then came back and sat further away. When I was done playing I walked past them and they both commented that I was a good guitar player.

Then they bickered again.

I went to the supermarket, I was out of Stevia which I got as well as some Ramen noodles for the homeless shelter that was doing a collection outside the supermarket. Bought them some lentils too.

Came home to wake Bill up so he could get ready to drive down to Atlantic City again and found him awake and getting his act together.

Played some more guitar and watched Bewitched which is really a terrible show, or rather was a terrible show. Canned laughter! I’ll have a double, better make that a triple! Haw haw! Everybody drink and drive!

I couldn’t help but remember something from National Lampoon, a comic where Samantha and her mother are having sex with demons. Edna Kravitz, the nosy neighbor has her eyes burned out while spying on Samantha and her coven.

The comic ended with Samantha and Endora being burned at the stake, Endora spewing forth profanity at everyone involved.

Now that was funny.

No plans to do anything tonight. I did think about seeing A Hard Day’s Night at the Loews in Journal Square with Chaz and Andy but opting to stay home once again. Perhaps a walk later on.

Anything but writing.
Please.

one half of my audience

one half of my audience


Touch Too Much

Today I don’t feel like writing. Mainly it’s from not sleeping well again last night. Cut down on coffee drinking considerably. I should have it together by Wednesday night, when I will go see the Specials.

Played guitar by the river for about 45 minutes. Hardly anyone around and once again it was cool and breezy which is sort of how I feel. You would think it would be a good fit, but no, not really.

Just couldn’t connect with the guitar which happens sometimes. Perhaps a day away from each other should do us both some good. I did relearn two Specials songs, Gangsters and Rat Race. Just the right amount of Norwegians involved.

Of course no one in Hoboken will understand or know the songs but they often don’t understand my covers or recognize them.

Gave up on More Tales of the City and returned it to the bibliothèque along with Gosford Park which I wanted Bill to see but it didn’t seem like it was going to happen anytime soon. Last night I watched the Pacific which left me laying in bed as I tried to sleep, thinking about grenades.

Not exactly the most relaxing thing to think of when you are trying to fall asleep. Also watched Treme, the new series about New Orleans post-Katrina. Also not the funny, relaxing type of entertainment that might help.

Right now I’m watching ‘In the Loop’ a British satire on the events leading up to the Iraq invasion. It’s pretty funny oddly enough.

An hour later I am back here in front of the computer.

Had a nap. No, the naps are not the reason why I can’t sleep at night. The naps are needed since I haven’t been sleeping correctly.

The volcano seem to be getting worse. Stine’s parents were supposed to fly in from Copenhagen this week but it now seems unlikely. According to the NY Daily News, NYC has lost $250 million from the canceled flights and minimal European tourists. And airports on both ends are filled with travelers trying to get home.

Stine was understandably disappointed but what can you do? She told me when we talked on the phone this morning. On the news just now they said the volcanic activity is getting worse and stronger than previously expected.

Which goes to show, no one really knows anything about anything.

Today is Bicycle Day which is named in honor of Albert Hoffman who discovered LSD and felt it’s effects from quite an eventful bicycle ride. I should have gotten the bicycle out and gone for a spin.

Perhaps I’ll do that tomorrow. It’s supposed to be a warmer day and I’ll simply take a day off from guitar playing. Perhaps even from writing.

This is the 1,616 post and I think I’ve earned a day off from writing. Of course I say that now. It’s so ingrained into my daily routine that I will probably find something missing in my life around 6:00.
You’ve been forewarned.
pier a
CompactCassetteLogo

Pictures of You

Well today has been a good day for me, internet wise. Been in front of the computer, looking at pictures that Rand scanned last night. Oldies of Rand and me in San Francisco, playing as the Art Hams with Mike Weinert at Maxwells for the Martha-thon back in 1986 or so, playing the River City Fair was the Art Hams with John Hamilton of Tiny Lights, who advised us not to drink beforehand and we didn’t follow his advice and performed a sloppy and silly set.

Last night I had a really good time, drinking pints with Rand at his apartment. One of the things Rand did was set me up so my blog postings will feed directly into Twitter as well as Facebook. Nothing about YouFace yet though.

Rand also turned me onto Pandora which we used for music last night. My sister uses it as well and I actually signed up for it a few years ago and set up about 20 stations before forgetting about it. So I’ve been playing that most of the day.

Bill just left for his bus driving gig once again, off to Atlantic City. Pictures of You by The Cure just played on Pandora which made me miss him even more than I usually do. Curse you Robert Smith and your melancholy airs!

It’s a rainy gray day which seems perfect for The Cure. They came up through the Cocteau Twins station that I just created.

Facebook has been busy, at least me and my friends. Thanks to Rand’s photos lot’s of people are showing up and commenting and others are compelled to post pictures of their own.

Great day like I said, reading about my niece Cassie doing work for the homeless this morning for her confirmation duties.

There are plans in the works for an Art Hams reunion in May, perhaps in upstate New York. More remains to be seen on that front but if it goes through it promises to be a lot of fun. But that’s way down the line.

I’m certainly glad I went over to Rand’s last night and I also think it was rather smart of me to write and post yesterday’s entry before I started drinking. I certainly wasn’t in the state of mind to do so when I came back.

Not that I was out of control or anything like that. On the contrary, I felt relatively OK after about 5 pints of Guinness. I don’t think I would pass a sobriety test if I had to despite all the studying I had done before.

Now on Pandora is Julee Cruise singing Falling which was produced by David Lynch and Angelo Badalamenti and used in Twin Peaks, at least the instrumental version was.

Also trying to track Bill on Google Latitude. It was track him through his phone from my location here in Hoboken. That should be fun. I do worry about these trips to Atlantic City. And I double worry when it’s cold and rainy.

Currently listening to Brian Eno station on Pandora while downloading a Brian Eno podcast from 1988.

Last night or rather this morning I had 2 cannabis free dreams. One involved me fighting with the guy from Across the Universe in various bistros and bars in the West Village and Soho/Tribeca. I think I had some sort of superpowers, either able to fly or shrink down my size.

Then I sort of woke up when Bill came home this morning and I said when I saw Bill, ‘Mom?’

Back to sleep after that and had a dream where all the women in the world were killing all the men, except for boys and old men and gay men. I suppose I had dreams like this when I was smoking the weed all the time, just never remembered them.

Too clouded a mind for them to really sink in. Sometimes the dreams are troubling and not ensuring a good night’s sleep. Nothing much else planned for today.

Going to make some dinner in a few minutes.

That’s my first entry to go out onto the web via Twitter and Facebook

♫ Take it or leave it, we’ll carry on regardless/If you don’t like it, you don’t have to dance. ♪

Art Hams- 1st incarnation, Mike Weinert, Rand Hoppe, Me

Art Hams- 1st incarnation, Mike Weinert, Rand Hoppe, Me


Art Hams 2nd incarnation Rand Hoppe, Me, John Hamilton

Art Hams 2nd incarnation Rand Hoppe, Me, John Hamilton

1981 JOT photo by Derry Pedovitch

1981 JOT photo by Derry Pedovitch

2010 JOZ

2010 JOZ

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