Tag Archives: Gordon Lightfoot

Break Up to Make Up

And here we are on a Thursday. Beats being in Bala Cynwyd I suppose. It certainly hasn’t been too busy a day. Rather low key. Found myself watching some of the Olympics.

I know I know. Me? Watching a sporting event? Wasn’t Scrubs on? Gilmore Girls? Lawn Hors d’œuvre? Apparently not. It was women’s hockey. Who knew women played hockey? Not me, that’s for sure.

I watched The Rocker, starring Rainn Wilson as a former drummer for a hair band called Vesuvius, given the sack like Pete Best. Funnily enough, there is a Pete Best cameo. He’s at the bus stop reading Rolling Stone magazine.

Rainn Wilson’s nephew has a band and needs a drummer and so Rainn Wilson’s character steps in. Of course there are a few twists and story lines, but overall it was a funny movie with some famous comedy names involved.

I also watched Terry Jones of Monty Python. He has a 2 disc DVD of The Barbarians, a fun and fascinating documentary about who the barbarians actually were. Remember, history is written by the victors and usually written in a light to make the victors look like the good guys. Rome basically wasn’t all that.

Not so noble after all, and when the coffers were near depletion, they didn’t think twice about invading a land who they had been trading with, and killing as many inhabitants with an eye on their gold. So far he’s gone over the Celts and the Goths.

Both given a bad rap throughout history, since history is written by the victors. And Terry Jones, being such a personable chap is an entertaining teacher.

I wish I had teachers like Terry Jones. Chances are I would have gone further into education instead of bailing out when I had the first real opportunity.

Bill and I had a short online chat today. He’s infatuated by the BBC and told me of a report that he heard from them, that Gordon Lightfoot died. I almost immediately sent the word to Harpy as that is what we do, when a boldface name passes away.

It’s our way of keeping in touch you see.

A search on Google News came up with a link to the Vancouver Sun, but the link went nowhere. I figured I would wait until more news sources came in, expecting a major tribute at the Olympics since Gordon Lightfoot is Canadian and that’s where the Winter Olympics are underway.

But as things turned out, Gordon Lightfoot is still vertical and singing somewhere. If you could read his mind, he’d probably be both pissed off and relieved, eh?

Also watched Lost the other night, which was all about Locke, or rather Fake Locke. Alternate planes of existence seem to be occurring. One Locke is in a wheelchair, came back from Australia and lives with his fiancee. Fake Locke (F.Locke) is the smoke monster and trying to get Sawyer on his side for some nefarious end.

It was actually a very good episode. Much better than the previous week.

No comedy on TV tonight, at least not the Thursday night lineup that I’ve taken to watching. Could be worse I guess.

JOT 1985

JOT 1985 2

I could be in Bala Cynwyd.

Wishful Beginnings

Well let’s see. Last night had some crazy dreams. Me going to Hawaii and not wanting Annemarie to know about it. I flew there myself it seems, almost landed at Pearl Harbor but decided against that.

Wound up somewhere on some island where a lot of people I knew and some of whom I was trying to avoid were all ensconced in a big house with tiny rooms. It was a dream that seemed to go on forever leaving me to wonder if some dreams go on longer than other dreams.

In any event though it was a deep sleep it wasn’t restful. I got out of bed later than I’ve been the past week and went out for the paper and some bagels. Came home and looked forward to doing nothing when I received a phone call.

It was a response to an advert that I saw on Craigslist for a job. Apparently I sounded professional on the phone and they wanted to schedule and interview as soon as possible. I had hoped Monday would be soon enough but they insisted on today. So I said I could be there at 3:00. It was around 11:30 when they called.

I wasn’t feeling up for it and tried to take a nap but since I had some coffee all I could do was lay in bed. After about 15 minutes of that I decided to get it together and shave. Also wet my hair somewhat so I could at least use some gel and get it into some sort of presentable shape.

Left the apartment around 2:00 and walked over to the Path train where I sat and read the New Yorker from December 14. Almost caught up and grateful for the Patricia Marx article that I totally skipped over (Jump rope $374.95 at Bergdorf Goodman).

Went to the office which is across the street from where I would run into my Rasta friends. Filled out an application while having an out of body experience. Tried to tighten my shoelace which broke causing me to improvise and skipping some eyelets.

I was a bit anxious since I read in an article from the Wall Street Journal about the reasons why some people were passed over on job interviews. The interview was with Chaim. As I sat in reception I couldn’t help but over hear the woman being interviewed before me.

I was eventually allowed to sit in the conference room after the last interview finished. I sat and read the New Yorker, still out of body. Chaim came in and of course it was nothing but eye contact from my end of the table.

We walked through the resume and I wasn’t as relaxed as I was during the last interview in December. I explained why I left Wanker Banker and McMann and Tate and told him what happened to BIOIB.

I’m getting better at spinning these yarns as well as plucking the heart strings when I tell them how I needed to drop out of college to care for my parents, mom had Alzheimer’s and dad, well dad was dad. I left the interview, still partially in my body.

No Rastas across the street and I walked back to the Path train. Believe it or not, I think the fact that I wasn’t fully there could have helped in my favor. But I’m not getting my hopes up. Now there is nothing to do but wait and see. And send more resumes out.

For now, it’s laundry time. And the clothes should be dry by Sunday if I’m lucky.

Happy Birthday David Bowie!

I am now friends with all the members of Gang of Four. In fact Hugo Burnham, drummer extraordinaire commented on a David Bowie video of Five Years that I posted for the Dame’s birthday, ‘As fabulous now as it was to see it then. Chills down my spine…then and now…’

That was awfully nice of Hugo!

Most of The Time

Last night was melancholy. It was a slow descent into melancholia. In the back of my mind was the anxiety of the job interview this morning. Well maybe it was more like a full occupation of my mind, the melancholia.

I had a fun phone call with Annemarie and a good time with Bill but I couldn’t enjoy things like Curb Your Enthusiasm. There were aspects that I did laugh at but most everything was clouded by the anxiety. And it wasn’t so much the interview, it’s the whole idea of being unemployed.

It’s really a drag and that is really an understatement. I’ve been unemployed before and knew it was only a matter of time before I would land another gig. But it really is scary out there. I didn’t know how scary it was until I became part of it.

I had an appointment for 11:00 this morning for an interview and felt that the tutorials I did a few weeks ago would help me out. I set the alarm clock for 7:00. Bill was up and out around 6:00, giving me a kiss goodbye and wishing me well.

He’s so great. Drives me crazy sometimes, but any relationship usually involves one party driving the other party crazy. The toothpaste cap. The dishes in the sink. Neither one of those issues concern us, just using it for an example.

He’s so incredibly supportive of me, believing in me when I don’t. And that’s a lot of the time.

Yesterday when I was at Tariq’s studio, the two of us were on the fire escape having a smoke. He had some good advice having been through a lot in his own life. It was advice that I had given to people from time to time and I had forgotten it.

There’s always someone who has it worse than you. As he was saying this I saw two people in electric wheelchairs in the distance headed to the light rail. How’s that for reality? I told Tariq I know I have it good. I have a roof over my head and I have someone who loves me. And some people don’t have either. So I’m grateful.

And if I am asked on Thursday to state what I am thankful for I can just point at Bill and say ‘Him’.

I reset the alarm clock to 9:00 and finally got some real good sleep. Woke up to the music of War singing Low Rider. I even said an affirmation. ‘Good day, good day, it’s gonna be a good day’ I kept repeating that to myself and I got myself ready.

Had to print out three references, got a nice suit & tie on. Braces, socks, sock garters (hate droopy socks), lightly polished my shoes and had my passport for government ID, my resume and I was out the door.

The light rail was at 10:38 and I thought I had enough time but by the time I was about 150 yards from the light rail I looked at my watch and it was 10:35. I ran through the terminal, jammed my credit card in the ticket machine, had it validated, time stamped at 10:38 and saw the light rail pulling away.

I called up the agency, getting the number through Google411 and dialed the number. No answer. I called Bill and asked him to go into my email and get the info from the email that the counselor Rainier sent me.

Bill was great and asked if I was going to call the counselor. Steam leaked a little bit from my ears but I kept it cool. He got the info and told me and I called, telling Rainier that I was going to be 10 minutes late.

He was fine with it, but I hate being late. Generally I’m early. Good day good day, it’s gonna be a good day. Got off the light rail in the middle of the Harborside complex which consists of a few post modern buildings.

Which one? I called Bill once again and once again Bill came through.

Got to the office, filled out paperwork. Took an Excel, Word and Outlook test. Oddly enough I did better on the Excel than I did on the Word. Outlook was a walk in the park.

I was in a tiny room with four other guys, all of us intensely focused on the computer screens in front of us. I was gassy. Not releasing gas mind you, but it was moving it’s way through my body and was a little bit noisy. At least noisy to me.

Don’t know if the others heard it. It was like an interview I had tears ago for a production company called Geronimo. Same thing happened but that was during the interview. No gas, just internal noise.

Finally met Rainier who was a crazy cute guy. We went over the tests and he remarked that I did better than most which was a pleasant surprise. I have a good feeling about this agency. Perhaps they’ll place me somewhere.

Maybe it was butterflies in my stomach from talking with Rainier, maybe it was gas. It went well and I wished him and the receptionist and Happy Thanksgiving which is the thing to say this week.

Even though it was cold and windy I decided to walk back to Hoboken through the Jersey City waterfront. I enjoyed a cigar on the way and listened to the iPod. Overall I think it went well. A positive way to spend a few hours.

I feel a lot better tonight and shook a rosebush when I got home.

Here’s some pics from the walk home.

9/11 Memorial @ Harborside

9/11 Memorial @ Harborside

11.23.09 Jersey City area 002

11.23.09 Jersey City area 003

11.23.09 Jersey City area 004

11.23.09 Jersey City area 005

Tiny terracotta warrior @ a Cooperative school

Tiny terracotta warrior @ a Cooperative school

Elephants by an ice rink

Elephants by an ice rink

11.23.09 Jersey City area 008

11.23.09 Jersey City area 009

11.23.09 Jersey City area 010

11.23.09 Jersey City area 011

11.23.09 Jersey City area 012

Just keeping it Gully.

Just keeping it Gully.

Pinball Wizard

It’s Tuesday. So far so good. Spent part of the day job searching. Online of course. New York State Department of Labor, the New York Times and Craigslist. More of the same, cover letters, resumes and waiting with hope.

The online job search has included some phishing lately. If you don’t click a box for continuing your education via online ‘colleges’ your search ends. If you do click the box you get phone calls telling you why you should sign up with them.

Today I heard from Tiffany at AIU and Sharon from the University of Phoenix. Both tried the hard sell telling me that continuing my education (which I marked as interested in a post doctorate degree in criminal justice) would be the way to go.

One of them even went so far as to ask, ‘Don’t you think you didn’t get that job because of your education status?’ I answered no. I think I didn’t get the job because someone will work for less money than I would.

And that’s basically the reason. Money. Someone will be hired because they are willing to work cheap. I am willing to take a $10,000 cut in salary but any more than that would be crazy.

I also used a link that Janelle, a friend and former co-worker from my Wanker Banker days gave me. I sent an email a little after 5:00 not expecting anything until tomorrow.

About 5 minutes later I get a call from the woman I sent a resume to. I remarked that I was surprised at how fast she called back. She said timing was everything.

Turns out just as she got my resume, she received a job posting. She thinks I will be good as an office assistant and would I like to see her tomorrow. She offered a 9:30 or 11:30 interview. I said 9:30 since it’s all about the timing and if it works out, it will work out earlier.

I already have my suit picked out, my shoes, socks shirt & tie. I’m trying not to get anxious about it, thinking that the job is mine. I do that a lot and wind up having my spirit crushed, but I do have a good feeling about it.

Also smartly decided not to post anything about it on Facebook. It was nice getting all the good wishes and thoughts regarding the last interview, but it was a drag to keep repeating the outcome. So if you have good wishes, post them here.

Easier to maintain and you’ll read about what happened tomorrow night. Last night, Heroes was pretty good. Perhaps for the first time this season. After that I watched Futurama which is always fun to watch.

Helped Bill with his sleep apnea mask which works best when he wears an eye mask. Unfortunately Bill can’t see what he’s doing while wearing the eye mask so that’s where I came in. If we plugged his ears too he’d probably play a mean pinball.

It worked and I had the best sleep I’ve had in days. And so did Bill. So that’s that for today. I’ll fill you in tomorrow with regards to the interview. Until then, keep it under your hat.

8:32PM Phishing. Nathan calls with an offer for online education with the pre-approved GE Home Safety Alarm attached.

Mr. Lee

Well today was the day of the interview. Not much to report on. Just met with a staffer at an agency. They check you out before sending you to the actual company. Then the company interviews you and then makes their decision.

The only drawback I can see if the fact that they are asking for a college diploma, ideally a bachelor’s degree and I did not go to college due to my loathing of education.

If you think I’m smart, it isn’t because of schooling. It’s more from the people I’ve met and things that I’ve read on my own. Obviously I don’t recommend this for everyone. I don’t regret not going to college, but I wonder what those college graduates who are presently jobless might be thinking.

The interview went well I think though. Met with Peter Lee since the original person I was supposed to meet was out today. We clicked I think and he mentioned that if this doesn’t happen, then he would keep me in mind for other positions that might come up.

I think they’re connected through the New York State Department of Labor so they might get a kick back if they can place someone in a job somewhere. The job was originally posted through their Paramus NJ offices and when Peter mentioned that I was ready to say I can’t work in Paramus.

But no, the job is at 38th Street and Fifth Avenue. I do have to take a skill test which Peter sent to my email. That’s a bit nerve wracking even without the pressure. Of course it all boils down to confidence and that is something I generally lack.

I’m going to wait until Bill comes home so he can bolster my spirits and perhaps give me a nudge in the right direction while I do the test. He’s been so good lately with his belief in me (though he always believes in me, a lot more than I believe in myself) and I can say that without him I’d more than likely be lost.

I have given advice to various people in the past advising them to stop beating themselves up, the world is always more than willing to do that to them. And of course I have difficulty in following my own advice leaving me with the wringing of my hands, the scratching of my head and an overall sense of uselessness.

With all that on my mind it’s no surprise that I didn’t sleep to well last night. I was tired enough but couldn’t really sleep too well due to the fact that Bill’s sleep apnea mask was making some noise which kept waking me up.

At some point I did ask him to take the mask off. He heard me ask him that but still slept with the mask on.

I did eventually get a couple of hours of sleep once Bill went to work. And then’s when I had a dream about my father. And it wasn’t a bad dream.

I never dream of him as far as I can remember but it started out with my brother Brian cleaning the front of 13 Riverview, where we used to have bushes. I went into the house where I saw my father and gave him a hug.

He was talking to someone about me, saying that I used to be called Idaho John since that’s where I was conceived (?) but now that I go out with men of color (that would be Bill) I’m now called Black John.

Yes it was a weird dream and I quite sure I wasn’t conceived in Idaho in any event.

Just got a phone call from the previous job. My replacement was asking me about the dimensions of a glass table piece that was broken last year. As if I carry that info around. I never had the info to begin with and suggested she get a tape measure and measure it herself.

Such knuckleheads they be.

It's me

It's me


Well yesterday was a day of despair. Didn’t want to write about it lest some people get overly alarmed. So I wisely skirted the issue. Nothing bad happened just an overall bottoming out and spending too much time in my head, in my apartment, in Hoboken.

I knew I could get through it and that today would be a different day. All I had to do was to get to it. And I did. Last night was no great shakes. After watching Olbermann, I watched Arrested Development but even that didn’t help.

Bill came home in time to watch a really funny show following Arrested Development on IFC, the Jon Dore Show. He’s a funny Canadian guy and we stumbled on his show a few weeks ago. Bill offered to listen to me about whatever it was that was bothering me, but by then it was too late.

I had gone through the worst of it and did not want to revisit. All I needed was to make it to today. He was tired and went to bed around 10:30. I stayed up watching a show from BBC Manchester called Ideal which was OK, but the Mancunian accents were a bit too thick even for my ear.

Stayed up for the Simpsons and then some of Craig Ferguson who is really funny and worth catching if you’re up at 12:35AM. I went to sleep after that. Not a deep sleep. Felt like I was sleeping on the installment plan.

I have been getting about 8 hours of sleep each night so that meant I woke up around 10:00. I know, some of you are up at 6:00 or even earlier and it sounds like laziness on my part. But it isn’t. Just can’t find a reason to get up earlier and in any event, I don’t want to get up earlier.

I discovered that my computer updated itself last night and since I had a few USB cables hooked up, it didn’t restart. So I had to restart it after disconnecting those cables and hopped in the shower.

Wednesday is the day I usually get my unemployment benefit and since today was Veterans Day, a Federal holiday, my direct deposit didn’t go through even though it was set up on Monday. That was upsetting somewhat.

Apparently robots and automated services had the day off as well. There was nothing I could do about it. I did check the New York State Department of Labor’s website and logged in the ‘Looking for a Job’ section. I expected it to be bottom feeders but it wasn’t that bad.

Almost immediately I got an email from an agency inquiring about my inquiry. I tool the bait, made a phone call and set up an interview for tomorrow at 2:00PM. Posted that on Facebook and a nice group of people wished me well and good luck.

Once again the routine is to go to the agency and have them check me out before they send me anywhere. The position they want to see me for is for a midtown position. I set about getting a suit and shirt and tie all together.

I haven’t had a hair cut since July so my hair is a bit unkempt. That was another factor yesterday. A bad hair day. This morning before I knew anything, I decided to gel the hair again like I used to when I was employed and it’s manageable but still I will need to see my barber Tony on Saturday.

He’s been forlorn as he sees me walking by all shaggy. So as I thought, today would be a better day than yesterday and so far it has been.

It’s off to Wall Street tomorrow afternoon and I’m looking forward to getting dressed up again with fingers crossed, which can make for difficult buttoning but I don’t care.

Over and out.