Posts Tagged ‘Dreams’

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I Don’t Wanna Go Down To The Basement*

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

A hum drum day off. More hum than drum, or maybe more drum than hum but in any event it was a day off. And it’s been alright thus far. Had crazy dreams last night, one included 2 classmates from 30 years ago, Frank Wester and Ken Mallia who in the dream turned out to be lovers and in the process of adopting a baby.

I don’t think either was gay and though we were all in the same graduating class I don’t think the 2 ever socialized. I hadn’t thought of Ken Mallia since the year 2000 when I attended the 20th year reunion and a mutual friend told me that Ken won’t ever return to New Jersey nor would he visit 2 Pearl Court at the bottom of Trudy Drive.

The last time I saw Frank Wester was at Hitsville in Passaic and that must have been 1982. Frank recognized me and came up to me telling me that my music taste was spot on, New Wave was truly the way to go, despite his mocking me for liking the genre throughout high school.

Frank Wester was not at the reunion either and I decided then and there that it would be my last reunion, I had no desire to see any of these people again, except for Jim Carley or John Nesselt, who both declined to attend the reunion. Those were the 2 friends from high school that I would be interested in seeing once again, but over 30 years later it seems highly unlikely that our paths would cross once more.

The Wester/Mallia dream segued into a dream where I was in an industrial park looking for a place to pee. I found what seemed to be a deserted area and was about to leave my mark, but was soon surrounded by news crews headed by someone wearing a Brian Eno mask. I’m sure I had other dreams but those were the last ones before waking up and starting my day. I’ve read somewhere that a dream lasts only a few seconds then it is supplanted by another dream so that is something to consider.

The day had a lazy start. I showered but had no coffee to make so I took a chance and headed out first to the bibliothèque and then to the supermarket where the cashier took issue with the cover of the Daily News, stating that the Goldman Sachs fat cat was just one of the problems that is going on right now.

Since I did not have any coffee I just nodded my head and walked out after paying. Breakfast and a fresh pot of coffee was had and I read all about the fat cat from Goldman Sachs. Then it was basically watching the TV and checking emails. Heard from the former CEO of an old job who seemed to be fishing about, asking how I was doing, what I was up to.

I replied in kind and he mentioned that he would get back to me, then directed an underling to continue the correspondence setting up a phone call due to happen sometime next week which offered me a little bit of hope, but with a healthy amount of skepticism so as not to be overwhelmed by such a thing.

It’s been a day of steady rain and I hadn’t been out much and now I don’t think I will be out again until tomorrow morning when it’s back to the cigar shack for me.




16 – Rhythm of the Rain

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I Believe In Father Christmas

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

Just had a nap where I was in the southern part of Lodi, waiting to get a Frappuccino at Starbucks. A cover version of What’s My Name by the Clash played as I found myself trying to find where the Starbucks was that I left to escort a young woman from the coffee shop.

It was a rust belt version of Lodi, old machines decomposing in the deserted industrial areas. It should have been easy to find since it was across the street from Immaculate Conception high school. Inside it was dismal, with a few people milling about waiting for their beverages.

My server was actually someone who used to work at a pub in Saddle Brook called Gleason’s. I was doing some leaping and running as well as scaling down some iron walls designed like steppes while trying to get back to the Starbucks.

My knee was no trouble at all in the dream. Lots of running and jumping but still no Frappuccino.

I guess the Frappuccino was in my subconscious after getting an email from the corporation telling me I could get a free download of summer songs if I just go into the Starbucks. Although I wound up in Lodi in the dream I believe the Starbucks was actually in the vicinity of the cigar shack. There is no escaping the cigar shack.

A nap when the weather is close to 100 degrees outside is very nice. A fan blowing on my half dressed body as I lay on top of the bed was quite nice. I didn’t sleep too well last night and that helped with the nap. A Xanax that I took earlier in the day certainly helped quite a bit.

The Xanax came in handy when I made a phone call to someone. It was a day off and I tried calling them twice in the past week, left voice mails both time. This person usually calls me up and is generally upset that I never call.

Of course I never take into consideration that they have a phone that cannot dial out, they can only receive calls for some reason.

A few weeks previous this person contacted me about going to see a benefit show at Maxwells on June 29. I explained that it’s Bill’s birthday that day and depending on my work schedule I wasn’t sure at the time whether or not I would be able to make it.

It turns out that I was able to request that day and the next day off, not actually days off but when Calvin does the schedule I would like to be able to be off and make up those days off later in that week or around that time.

Well the person on the phone seemed harried as I walked around outside in the record high temperatures answering his questions concisely. He asked if I was upset about something, remarking that it sounded like I was angry with him. I explained that I wasn’t angry or upset, far from it, thanks to the Xanax.

Well it turns out that I wasn’t able to buy the tickets locally in Hoboken, that I would have to make the purchase online when I got home. That was no problem.

But what actually did upset me was the fact that me and the guy at the other end of the phone were once quite close and I do make an effort to rebuild what past we may have had, but sometimes it gets so hard to do so.

It’s not always like this but on occasion there is such a chemical reaction between the two of us that it almost always ends badly. And today was just like that.





Farewell to Harbor House, the Hoboken rehab center. Must've been some party...

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I Hear a Rhapsody

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

And it was back to work for me today. And I went reluctantly. I took 2 melatonin tablets last night and had a really restful sleep, including a dream where I was planning on traveling to Africa, and was worried about Somali pirates even though I wasn’t going anywhere near Somalia.

I got up this morning, made some coffee and went back to sleep for a few more minutes. It was pouring rain and sleeting outside with ice covering sidewalks making walking somewhat difficult and slow. I took my time, getting ready before I headed out into all that mess. Coffee and cereal after a shower and a shave. Soon I was out in the slosh, walking carefully up to Washington Street.

I walked by Mr. L’s. They took Tony off of Tuesdays so now he only cuts hair on Monday and Saturday. According to Tony it was all orchestrated by his son Nick, but I think Nick is trying to ease Tony out ever since he fell a few months ago and hasn’t completely recovered. In any event, the day where I have to find a different barber will be somewhere down the line.

I waited in the rain for the bus, carrying Bill’s boots in a plastic bag. For some reason he’d forgotten the boots and was going to need them tonight. I didn’t mind bringing them in for Bill. He’s been so great, so supportive for me, how could I not help him out? It’s love baby. Nothing but love love love.

As I waited for Bill to come down from his office I got a phone call. It was a 330 area code and it was in response to a resume I had sent out earlier. The office was in Colorado but the job was downtown for a position I feel I am uniquely suited for.

The phone call was brief but it went well and I told the caller that I would be available on Thursday for an interview if that would be possible. I am off on Thursday and I hope I can set something up tomorrow.

I got to the cigar shop a little late but not caring about it. I was bound to be late what with the weather and all. Marcus was out sick and so it was me and the Bradley. Calvin was out today since he and his wife were going to see Prince, deciding to do so after my glowing review last month.

It was a weird day. Yesterday the back room man cave was shut down due to a ventilation problem and it hadn’t been corrected yet. The HVAC people were supposed to be in around 8:30 this morning, they didn’t arrive until 12:30. And the second cash register was broken down due to a power strip problem.

Not much money was made today. The regulars stayed away in droves, the ones who did show up were quite upset with the fact that they couldn’t smoke their cigars in the man cave, walking out dejected. It made for a long day. I wound up working with Sean and the Bradley and we all got along fine.

I forgot to write about the bus ride in this morning. I was sitting behind Linda Weinstein who was using the bus as her office, making arrangements and planning Ray’s memorial service, scheduled for the first weekend in February. “Ray’s a bigger pain in the ass now that he’s dead than he was when he was alive!”

I thought about offering her my resume but thought again and decided not to.



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I Don’t Want To Know

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

Well it’s been a day off and it’s been alright. I bought myself a new Timex watch and some new Airwalk sneakers. The last watch lost it’s crown, which is the piece that allows you to adjust the time when you pull it out.

What was left of the crown kept getting snagged on clothes and other things. And the Airwalk sneakers, well after over a year, they’ve been looking ratty. A trip to the mall was in order. The watches were on sale at Kohl’s so I saved about $20.00 on the basic Timex watch.

The co-workers at the cigar shop all have watch fetishes, preferring to spend hundreds of dollars on a watch that does the same thing as my $30.00 Timex. Only it’s not as flashy as a watch that cost several hundred dollars (or more).

On my way home I switched from the old sneakers to the new ones, figuring I was just going to throw them out anyhow. I must have looked a sight sitting on a bench by the Hudson River, in my purple socks, lacing up the new kicks and tossing out the old ones.

I did say good bye to the old sneakers, thanking them for the services they’ve provided. The new pair is basically the same style as the old pair, tan Airwalk kicks. I certainly don’t wear them as much as I used to, mainly on weekends as I truck to and from the bus terminal to the cigar shop.

It was a nice day out too. A little overcast and a little muggy at that. More resumes went out this morning and also communicated with the groups that Don from work had suggested. One of the groups, an LGBT start up had no use for me, but did offer some volunteering work if I’d like.

I thanked them for the volunteering offer, but turned it down. With my schedule I don’t think I would have anytime to do any of that for them. Still no word from the other group Don recommended. And there were other resumes sent out.

Last year the thing from some job listings was a front for continuing education websites like University of Phoenix. You see a job that you feel you are qualified for and send them your resume then you get a response, asking for you to take an IQ test, or a free credit check.

It’s all rather demoralizing and degrading. Demoralizing since you think it’s a good fit and it seems like a scam. Still I continue sending out resumes left and right. No legitimate responses, no words from the cousins.

The mantra is a bit frayed, I’m afraid. If I could have picked up a new mantra with the new watch or sneakers I certainly would have. But no, it wasn’t to be.

Last night or rather this morning I had a very strange dream. I was in an apartment with Brian Eno & David Byrne and a woman. Eno picked up a starter’s pistol and put it to his temple. We told him not to pull the trigger but he did and collapsed.

Blood and water spilled from his head as he lay there. Byrne, the woman and I all tried calling 911 on our cellphones but couldn’t get through. At some point I cradled Eno in my arms and took him outside. When we were out in the daylight, his skin looked like the skin of an avocado, but rather quickly his skin was normal once again and he came to life.

So while it had a happy ending it was disturbing enough that I couldn’t get to sleep again.


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Rejeição

Saturday, March 13th, 2010

Yes it’s been a steady rain today and quite windy. It was that way last night. I only went out once today to get some groceries that I neglected to get yesterday. And of course when I got home I realized that I forgot to get Stevia.

The weather has been affecting my sinuses but it’s manageable as long as I don’t have to physically interact with people. Phone is fine, online chatting is fine, Facebook is fine. But face to face? Forget about it. It’s best for all concerned I believe.

I was invited to see my nephew Brian in a play at his school, somewhere upstate. But with the weather and my sinuses I begged off. The same with Pedro. It’s his birthday today and he invited me up to Otisville but once again I said no thanks.

Otisville could even be close to my nephew’s school and perhaps I could have done both but here I am in front of a computer in Hoboken. Like I said, it’s best for all concerned.

Last night I found myself close to the blues. The mood, not the music. Watched Bill Maher and realized that I really can’t stand Bill Maher. I don’t know if I will watch it again. I guess it would depend on who his guests are.

I would prefer it if Maher wasn’t on his own show, just having the guests on with a different host, a host who didn’t think they were the most clever person in the hemisphere.

After that, the Simpsons and Craig Ferguson. I wound up going to bed not because I was tired but because I was bored. Maybe closed my eyes for about five minutes before I tossed and turned beset with anxiety.

Bill wasn’t home yet and I found myself worried. That sound on the street, was it a fight? Was someone attacking Bill? Was I going have to go down in the rain in my boxer briefs and crack some skulls? I got out of bed and checked Google Latitude which said he was a block away from the Path train.

I took a Xanax and went back to bed. Before I fell asleep Bill came home and told me of the fight he had out on the street, how he yelled my name and wondered where I was.
No, That didn’t happen.

For some reason Google Latitude said he was by the Path train and he was actually taking the bus. He was safe and sound on the couch and I soon fell fast asleep, anxiety free.

Slept the best I had in days actually. Had an interesting dream where a classmate from grammar school, Joyce- had opened a day spa in Hoboken in what looked like the basement apartment I lived in in the 1980′s.

In the dream, Joyce hadn’t grown since 1976 and to kiss her hello I had to bend down on my knees.

What? It last dream before I woke up.

I watched Gosford Park this afternoon and was overwhelmed by how good it was. If only for the phenomenal cast. Great story (sort of figured it out midway through), great performances.

I was blown away. I only regret not watching it sooner. Great direction by Robert Altman naturally. I might even watch it again with Altman’s commentary.

Bill should watch it, so I will probably hang onto it so he can.

I also watched the extras disc from Near Dark which I enjoyed more than the actual movie last night. Interviews with Bill Paxton, Lance Henriksen , Jeanette Goldstein and Katheryn Bigelow.

Happy birthday Pedro!

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Hi Ho Silver Lining

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Getting an early start today since I have something scheduled for later tonight which I will write about later. Something out of the ordinary which you may or may not get a kick out of. I don’t even know how it will turn out but it’s something that has been suggested to me once or twice before.

It’s a free thing whereas other times it was something you had to pay for. It could all turn out to be a plea to give money to this thing, or it can actually be useful. Or at least, interesting.

And tonight is part one actually. I suppose I’m leaving you anxiously waiting for whatever is going to happen. It does involve heading into Manhattan and at night too. So I’m leaving a little after 5PM and taking the Path train in and that’s all I’m going to say about it.

What else is there?

Well I did have some more strange dreams, cannabis free of course. New Jersey legislature approved the use of marijuana for medicinal reasons but that’s besides the point and that happened in real life not in my dreams.

One dream involved being down the shore, around Sandy Hook it seemed where I came across a horseshoe crab that was shaped like a box. Quite strange.

The other dream was involved with a church which may have been Saint Philip’s Church in Saddle Brook. It may have also included some kids I hung out with, Billy and Kenny Hayes,. One of them was diagnosed as psychotic and the other was a fireman, which is what their father was.

In the dream I was attending a service and holding the sacraments which when I looked closely at it, contained fruit flies. I tried to dissuade people from taking the sacraments but all they did was chuckle as they were passed around. It was pretty gross.

I’ve already eaten dinner, and now it’s 4:30. Seems I’ve been eating earlier and earlier. Is it my slide into senior citizen status? No more than likely it’s because the food is ready then. Plus since I’m going out and won’t be back until later (my cut off eating time is 7:00) now seemed to be the best time.

Some pasta and chicken. Fortifying and good for going out into the cold cold night. I’m also wearing my father’s silk long johns, for the first time in 10 years. I got them when we cleaned out the house in the last century but never had the nerve, or guts to wear them.

Very comfortable and they do keep my legs quite warm, though the true test will be when I am out on the street in the city.

And from what I read on the New York Times, Conan O’Brien is leaving NBC since they’re moving the unfunny Jay Leno back into late night scheduling. Conan seemed a bit pissed, after all he and his staff picked up and moved to Los Angeles from New York.

It’s a shame NBC didn’t give him a chance but he will have his millions to keep him warm and dry his eyes with. And here I go heading out into the night, or rather, twilight.

Hopefully you both have good nights and I will tell you all about tonight’s excursion tomorrow.

ozedBanner

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