Archive for the ‘WTF’ Category

I Cigni Di Balaka

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

I just got back from seeing Bill at Le Poisson Rouge in ‘Destinations’ once again. It was enjoyable once more. I decided to sit further back from the stage so I can take a few photographs and not interfere with anyone’s sightlines. I wasn’t supposed to and Bill didn’t know anything about it.

I know the staff at Le Poisson Rouge didn’t care since they asked me while I was taking photographs if I wanted something to drink. It was an entertaining show and it was a lot tighter than it was when I saw it initially. Of course I saw it on opening night, or rather opening afternoon.

I took several hundred photos, so many that my camera was getting hot. And seeing it a second time, it felt a lot faster. I could easily see it becoming an off Broadway show and perhaps with some fine tuning it could even be a Broadway show, though if a show like Passing Strange which did boffo box office off Broadway and faded too quickly on Broadway, maybe the chances for an original rock and roll show on Broadway isn’t the way to go. Hedwig & the Angry Inch did very well off Broadway too, though I never saw it there.

We had a nice dinner at a restaurant around the corner, Rocco’s. Bill and the cast ate there last night and Bill liked it so much that of course he wanted to take me tonight. Then a walk around part of the West Village. I hung outside of McDonalds while Bill ran in and used the bathroom. It was a long wait and of course Bill had to buy something, so he bought a hamburger to give to a homeless person.

Then another long wait on Eighth Street where Bill got his hat cleaned. I waited for a while then told Bill I was going to Barnes & Noble across the street. I browsed for a while and was followed by the security guard while I scoped out them music books slim selection. I was hoping to get back to Hoboken before the sun went down and at 8:00 I knew it would be dark when we returned to New Jersey. That was alright, just a slight crimp in my plans.

Bill didn’t know that cleaning his hat would take so long. We walked through Hoboken, bars getting crowded, outdoor seating at the restaurants were pretty much full. Good business in Hoboken. We came home, and once inside I set about uploading a ton of photos, over 400 that I took at Destinations. Then I posted them to Facebook which took a while.

Bill and I were just settling in when I got a message on Facebook from Bill’s cousin. She tried to get in touch with Bill on his phone but it was dead and getting charged up in another room. Bill’s mother was rushed by ambulance to the hospital after getting very sick. I told Bill the news and he went into full panic mode and headed out the door to the Path train, back into the city.

I offered to go with him, but he told me I should stay home in case he needs something. So here I sit, phone nearby. Other than the last hour, it’s been a really good day. Perhaps it still is, maybe Bill’s mom will be diagnosed with something that isn’t too bad. All we have is hope.






Gangs of New York











The one that calls itself Shack Master commented again on the previous post. This time he said that if he was a monkey from Kiev, he would take into consideration my poor attitude and lack of ambition and wouldn’t think he could trust me to check ID’s.

Wow, Miss Shack Thing has really gotten bitchy!

I Cheat the Hangman

Monday, August 22nd, 2011

Forgive the language, but today has been a mother fucker. Such a dumb ass day. It started at 6:00 this morning, with Bill kissing me goodbye and making sure I was getting out of bed. I had to get up early since Calvin had scheduled a re-certification class for tobacconists in NYC.

Now last year in June 2010 I had to go to Inwood on Long Island and sit in a room with gas station attendants and learn how to check identification cards. Today was scheduled for the same thing. I got there early enough, on time actually and saw Calvin as well as Ralph the tobacconist certification guy.

Ralph mentioned that it had been three years since the test was taken. I spoke up and said that I had done it last year and Ralph said then there was no need for me to be there. I looked at Calvin, and the supreme dumbass said ‘Well you’re here already anyhow, ha ha ha…’ Oh right then and there I wanted to throttle him.

I had to get up early for something that I didn’t have to. Stupid ass apparently forgot about my test last June. In fact he forgot about it last June, calling me up while I was online at Penn Station wondering where I was, how come I wasn’t at work. I reminded him then that I was headed out to take the test that he and Marcus had set up.

Luckily Thomas was there to diffuse my tension and after 90 minutes of a power point presentation as well as a test where most of the answers were letter ‘D’, both Thomas and I were on the street off to get our shoes shined. Thomas had the day off and they insisted he come in to take this stupid test.

Bradley was supposed to be there but he spaced and that was just alright with dumbass Calvin. Oh I’ve been carrying around this bitterness all day, on my sister’s birthday as well as Jerode’s birthday, a nice guy and nearby shop assistant. To offset the bitterness I am playing the Clash’s first album.

Yesterday was Joe Strummer’s birthday and I played Sandinista and Joe Strummer and the Mescalero’s Global A Go Go. Calvin left about an hour ago and Bradley left 30 minutes ago. Yesterday was cool with Thomas and Jerry Vale, today it was Dumb and Dumber. I didn’t care about the sales, I didn’t care about much of anything really.

My day was shot at 8:00 this morning and it was all downhill from there. Things being what they are, surprisingly I did alright on the sales front, maybe it was because I did not give a damn. Of course it was the luck of the draw, or in my case, whomever answred the phone. In this case I answered the phone. Someone from Beverly Hills wanted to buy a humidor and two boxes of cigars to send to New Orleans.

It was done over the phone and I have to admit, initially I did not think the sale would go through. But it did after a few games of phone tag.

Now I am home, and quite happy to be here. I don’t think I will have trouble sleeping tonight, having been up since 6:00AM. Sleep should be no problem, but having written that… Rest in Peace Jerry Leiber and Nick Ashford. Anyway, happy birthday to my sister Annemarie, the richest gal in Northern California!

Hard to believe it was only seven years ago Bill and I flew out to San Francisco to wish her a happy birthday on her fiftieth! Oops, maybe I shouldn’t have written that!




I Can’t Tell You Why

Thursday, August 11th, 2011

New day, new document. It’s amazing how a good night’s sleep can decide the kind of day you will have. Since I slept soundly last night, the day has been going on an alright level. No dark moments of despair while waiting for the bus. No looking for reapers happy or grim or whatnot.

Weather wise I think the day can be described as splendid. An enjoyable lunch hour spent on a bench near the park, reading a book about 1970 by David Browne, in which I found a few errors. It was a decent summer read but ultimately as boring as it sounds.

It was about The Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel breaking up, the disarray that Crosby Stills Nash & Young found themselves in along with a lot of cocaine and the rise of James Taylor who was doing a lot of heroin.

I met and worked with James Taylor in the the 1990’s and he was clean and took it upon himself to lecturing me about my then Gauloises habit. Apparently he had a French tobacco monkey on his back as well at some point.

It was back to the cigar shack for me today and it wasn’t bad at all. It was Calvin & Thomas and me, a good team. Things worked effortlessly. Thomas is the great white shark of course and Calvin plays the role of Black Friday admirably. Me, I’m like Gilligan I suppose. Things happen somewhat awkwardly and a few laughs are had. As long as nobody gets hurt it is alright I suppose.

45 minutes left in the shack and I am ahead in sales which puts me in a good mood. Bradley stopped by the cigar shack, his wall hitting hand no worse for wear. Jerry Vale also made an appearance picking up something that he had delivered to the cigar shack.

I am happy to report that as of now, all systems are go for Monday. Bill, my niece Corinne and I are headed to the beach. Plans are to leave early enough, like maybe on the road at 11:00 in the morning. Bill even texted me telling me that he’s looking forward to some relaxation on the beach.

I myself am looking forward to Bill being relaxed and just spending as much time as possible looking at the horizon. And I am pretty sure that Corinne is feeling the same way. Can’t bring Brady the dog with us though. No dogs allowed where we’re going until after Labor Day.

Two more days after today before I get two days off. A goal to reach and attainable. I just made Thomas blanch with my use of an MLK comment that Juan used on me a number of years ago. 34 minutes to go and I’m felling alright. Bananas help.

I watched Stardust Memories again last night. I saw that on it’s opening weekend at the Century Theater in Paramus. A full house on a Saturday night and I was the only one laughing. That sums up my life in Bergen County. Good to watch again and interesting to see how many jokes have made it into my day to day life.

And the establishment that I wrote about previously, where I interviewed in June with the woman with a European accent, well it was the Hoboken Library. They turned me down. I knew it was a 50/50 chance and I also knew that one needed to have an ‘in’ to actually land the job.

I got a poorly written letter from Pina Lodles, the library director. Now as much as I like the Hoboken Library, I was actually hoping to work there and make it something that is not so badly run. The audio visual room is atrocious. Not that I was gunning for Pina Lodles job, but as a director Pina Lodles has surely dropped the ball.

And this bullshit of sending out letters, a waste of money and paper. If you’re going to notify people they did not get the job, then email or a phone call would be more economical. I suppose that isn’t the library director’s concern, then again, neither is writing a letter that is grammatically correct. It’s a shoddy, poorly run operation.

It’s just as well. I suppose that BCCLS doesn’t need a literate person in their employ.

Their loss!



I Can’t Stay

Monday, August 8th, 2011

It’s a Monday. And it’s a two steps back kind of day, without the one step forward part. It’s been a weird couple of days. Saturday after taking the Path Train to Hoboken I walked home in a slight drizzle. Bill was home and working on lines from a play so he wasn’t really available so once again I internalize everything.

I stewed in my juices as he whispered lines to himself. He offered to go into the other room to do his lines but I couldn’t be bothered with watching TV. Around 11:00 I turned on the news and it was the usual bullshit.

Bill went to bed soon after that and I watched a bit of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hollows. It was more intense than I anticipated and wound up watching half of it before going to bed. And that was all it was going to bed.

The things that race through my head before actual sleep astounds me. This time I was thinking about how I played Jacob Marley in A Christmas Carol, and how Sister Carla, my 8th Grade teacher trying to get me to project my voice without yelling. I didn’t go over well and when I was actually on stage very few people could hear me, though I heard Sister Carla behind the curtain saying ‘Louder, louder’.

After an hour of laying in bed I got up and took a few melatonin tablets which didn’t work right away and I don’t think I fell asleep until 4:00, merely three hours after my first attempt. That meant I slept in which was nice but disrupted any plans that I may have had, which weren’t much to begin with.

So a little before noon I got out of bed, made some coffee and stepped into the shower. Not much to eat so that meant I had to go to the supermarket. Bill was off to do something and I came back with groceries and things that we would need.

I watched the rest of Deathly Hallows and enjoyed it a lot. I was tempted to go to the movie theater in Hoboken to watch Part 2 but the only available screening was in 3D and I didn’t want to pay $15.00 for a pair of glasses that I would need to return after the show.

I didn’t do much of anything really. I was pretty much depressed so I took a xanax which made me sleepy, so I slept for a few hours. Then I woke up, had something to eat and went back to bed for another hour. No desire to go out and interact and it looked like it was going to rain anyway. Just a long slow day filled with remorse basically.

I couldn’t even tell you what time Bill came home but he was pretty much out of it. We didn’t have much to say to each other. No reason just not much to say. He went to bed soon after coming home and I once again stayed awake.

Now in the shop it’s been another long day. Calvin, Thomas and myself manning the boards. I started out with a good sale and that was it. After that it was mainly tire kickers for me, people that just look and look and take your time and leave without buying anything. Now there is about an hour left and I just want to go home. The economic climate is worse today than it was last week, so the mantra continues. I can’t believe how badly people treat one another. As bad as I feel I never treat people as badly as I have seen people do.

In June I had an interview with a local Hoboken establishment. The woman I met, Faith seemed nice enough. I noted that she had a slight European accent. The interview went well and she mentioned that she would let me know either way, whether or not I get the job. That was OK by me.

She mentioned that she was going on vacation and would let me know when she returned. I called once when she was on vacation and today I called again. They asked for my name when they answered and I gave it twice since they didn’t hear me the first time.

After being on hold for about 30 seconds, someone picks up. I ask for Faith and they say that they are Faith. No distinct European accent, this was more like someone from Jackson Street in Hoboken. And they were quite surly, not polite like Faith was.

No this fake Faith was quite grouchy and told me that the manager of the establishment was going to be sending out letters probably today. The letters of rejection. I expect to get one soon. It’s just as well. I had supported this establishment in the past, writing letters on their behalf.

But if they’re going to be thinking that I am just as stupid as they are, I don’t plan on supporting them ever again. Another business that won’t be getting my business.


Part 1, Intense.



I Want You With Me

Thursday, April 7th, 2011

And today is Thursday, a day off. A day with an interview scheduled as well. I went to bed a little bit earlier and I slept a little bit better than the night before. The night before, though I was tired I couldn’t sleep and Bill, despite wearing a mouth guard, was snoring. Last night Bill wore the sleep apnea mask so that worked out well, a quiet evening.

Bill and I reviewed my paperwork and everything seemed to be in order. He left this morning, with an encouraging kiss and words of support, leaving a nice note on my computer screen this morning, ‘Knock It Out the Box Bubee!’ He calls me Bubee, I call him Ubee. Yes I know, Bubee usually means Grandmother in Yiddish, but since neither of us is Jewish we use it for our own use.

Plus my mother called me Bubala a few times when I was growing up and according to the Urban Dictionary, it’s a Yiddish terms used by Grandmothers to call children. The modern usage of the word can be extended to any person that is considered darling and close to one’s heart. Neither Bubee or Ubee made the Urban Dictionary cut.

I slept a bit and was awoken by my cellphone ringing at 7:30. I missed the call, it was from a former co-worker from my Wanker Banker days, Christina. We spoke the other day and I was supposed to call her back at 7PM that night, but I totally forgot about it.

I hadn’t seen here since maybe 2008, 2009. She was between jobs then and I guess she has something now. She might be looking to me to help her out. I wish I could. I headed out this morning earlier than usual and Bill gave me a heads up, saying that there may be tunnel traffic or overcrowded buses since there was a problem with the trains and more people than usual could be riding.

I was just happy the power did not go out again like it did with the previous interview a week or so ago. I rode the bus, reading the New Yorker since I had to return the Keith Richards autobiography yesterday. I have no idea how it ends, and I hope it turns out well.

When I was getting off the bus I ran into 2 Hoboken friends, Alice and Carol. I hadn’t seen any of them in a while and it was good to see them. Carol hopped in a cab and Alice told me of her adventures with Genesis P. Orridge and Psychic TV.

We parted ways at 6th Avenue and 41 Street and I walked through Bryant Park on the way to the Chrysler Building. At 42nd & Fifth I thought I could beat the light and gingerly stepped off the curb. That is when my left knee acted up. I almost wrote gave out, but I was able to hobble across the street, my pace greatly diminished and every step I took, produced a grimace on my face.

Still I had to get it together and I had a few minutes to collect myself. I decided to sit in the Grand Hyatt and review my paperwork and also to get off my feet for a few minutes. Ironically, the Grand Hyatt is where Der Fred used to work, where he would always yap in my ear about how he could get me a job there, that is until Der Fred was let go from his position.

I sat in the lobby in a comfortable yet awkwardly deep chair and reviewed my papers. After a trip to the loo and deciding not to pay $4.00 for a cup of coffee, I headed out again, limping across Lexington Avenue.

I made it up to the 26th floor where I was supposed to meet with Wendy. Instead, Jamal came out and interviewed me for a half hour. Even though there wasn’t nearly enough coffee in my body, I think I aced the interview and answered the questions properly and also asked a few questions which seems to be the way to go. Asking questions shows an interest you see.

It was over in about a half hour and I did my best to conceal my limp and my discomfort. Once on the street I called up Bill who asked me to stop by on my way back to the bus terminal. I told him it might be a while since I jacked up my knee.

Sure enough it took a lot longer than my usual pace and I sometimes found myself following someone else with a leg problem and also cursing out tourists who would step in my path. I caught up with Bill who got me into his building and let me use his loo. And I really needed to at that point, body clock all out of whack you see.

After that, a slow walk to the bus terminal, and I felt like Hyman Gross, looking for an escalator. Luckily the escalator to the gate was working and I rode it up. Missed the previous bus by 7 minutes so I stood and read the New Yorker.

Standing isn’t a problem, it’s getting up after sitting down which is the problem. Oh and walking too. Right now living on the top floor of a 5 story walk up is not as easy as it was yesterday. I took some Advil, laid on my bed with my legs stretched out on the wall and tried to sleep but sleep was not forthcoming.

I did make an appointment to see my doctor at 4PM today and it’s almost 3:00 now so I might want to get moving soon. So I made it down 4 flights of stairs and was early for the doctor’s appointment. That worked out fine since he saw me 15 minutes earlier than scheduled.

I stood in his office since sitting down then getting up is the problem, the getting up part. He had me sit on the table and roll up my jeans above my knee. I offered to drop the trousers but he said there was no need. He had me stand up and then realized that yes it would be better if I dropped my pants.

“Yes, your knee is swollen,” and he gave me a prescription for Naproxen to reduce the inflammation and so far it’s worked somewhat. Still a pain to negotiate stairways and curbs. I’ve been using a Shelaleigh that my father used to have, which I also leant Bill years ago when he jacked up his knee. So I’m learning how to use that.

It’s been one of those days.

I Just Can’t Help Believing

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

It’s Saint Patrick’s Day! And it has been one of the worst days ever, at least for me working at the cigar shack. And it was a day of listening to jazz. Dissonant discordant jazz played at such a volume it would have produced a headache if it weren’t for the Xanax that I felt obligated to myself to take before I left this morning.

And considering the day that I had it was the right choice to make. “Look ma, No blood!”

Last night I was so bitter, so twisted that I swore I wasn’t going to wear green on the day of the wearing of the green. Bill was up and out when I got out of bed. He did kiss me goodbye as I slept and I asked him what time it was and he replied that it was 6:30. That gave me 2 hours to try to get back to the sleep that I had been in.

Actually an hour and a half since my alarm clock kept going off and I of course kept hitting that snooze button. I did get out eventually, the morning show was on, made coffee, poured cereal and stepped into the shower.

Oh how my ass dragged. I did not want to go in today. I knew it would be the return of Calvin and that was something I did not want to deal with. Bill called me from Stacks, after he had gone to an audition and was back from it and enjoying some pancakes while I had my cold cereal. Thems the breaks I suppose.

He came out and waited with me for the bus, trying to bolster my nonexistent spirits. Of course I was obstinate which I regretted once we parted ways, a kiss at the bus stop. And the bus was filled within a stop or two, young people heading to the parade, along with firemen in their dress blues.

It was a nice morning so I decided to forgo the subway and walked up to the cigar shack. That is something I think I will do more and more weather permitting. Made it into the cigar shack with a minute to spare instead of the five minutes early I used to come in on. And it was jazz hell.

It usually is when Calvin is in, but it turns out Thomas is quite the jazz queer (thanks Ann Boyles for that term) and so it was jazz jazz jazz all day and I figured out, I really loathe jazz. Never has any music slowed down the day for than jazz.

After Calvin left, after saying ‘exactly’ and nervously laughing after almost every inane comment that spills from his shark like mouth, I thought I would be able to put the jazz away and play something else, something that would speed things up.

I thought about some Stax, I thought about the Beatles and opted for Scritti Politti. Not too heavy, quite melodic and witty lyrics. The new guy, Thomas immediately made a comment about the music being ‘New Age’.

What a polished prank engine he is turning out to be. No matter how much you polish a prank engine, no matter how you might dress up the prank engine in bespoke shoes and clothes, it is still a prank engine. I gave up and let him continue. Thomas the prank engine made a concession and played the Beatles, which I suppose was supposed to be a favor. Hey Jude, Let It Be, Yesterday. You know, the songs that never ever get played, never get thought of when playing the Beatles.

And those were the only Beatle songs he had. I went and turned it off and put on Scritti Politti again and once it got past the 30 second intro, I think dumb ass Thomas realized it wasn’t New Age after all, considering that in the final chorus Green from Scritti Politti sings the titles of the songs on the first Run DMC album. Yeah, that’s New Age.

Dumb Ass Thomas split and I set about closing up the shop. I counted the money and counted over and over, making sure everything was sure as shit and also killing time. All the presidents on the bills are facing the same way and if I needed to kill some more time I probably would have put the bills in sequential order.

I waited 20 minutes until it was 9:30 and clocked out. I saw Sean who is putting in a good word for me at the shop where he is working and gave him a cigar that a customer gave me. I plugged in my iPod and played a reggae mix that I made almost 20 years ago that the neck bone known as Kevin McBean used to enjoy.

It was deep heavy reggae, almost dub wise as I negotiated the drunks on the avenue congregating outside various pubs and bars. No Guinness for me, no St. Patrick’s Day fun.

I hustled and surprisingly I was able to make the bus and was the last person on before it pulled out. No drunks as far as I could tell. Now I am home, happy to be here and would rather never ever set foot in that dog forsaken cigar shack.

Exactly.

Bill headed in my direction


I wore green after all as well as my late cousin Jackie's Chesterfield


Angela, the woman who cleans everything after I cleaned it for 6 hours previously


A St. Patrick's Day concession


A St. Pats cake Bill bought for us. It remains uneaten.