Archive for the ‘Shed a tear’ Category

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I Am The Champion

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

Here I am again at the cigar shack. Where yesterday flew by, today was a day of the crawl. Calvin just left which is giving me this opportunity to get some writing started.

Yesterday I took a Xanax before I came in and today should have been the day for that. But I persevered and it all worked out. It was the brain dead Bradley and Calvin and myself today. It has been an edgy day nonetheless.

Calvin had an idea, right before I went to lunch to do something about the non-communication between the brain dead Bradley and myself. That ruined my lunch somewhat, distracting me from enjoying Keith Richards life.

And I am almost done with Keef’s autobiography and it’s been an enjoyable read which I highly recommend.

Lately I’ve been wrestling with myself and coming to terms with the fact that I am an artist. I’ve always been which could explain why I’m usually out of step with most of the human race. I play guitar, I write, I take photographs, I’ve also shot movies, acted and written poetry.

I guess I wear many hats. I am avoiding the jack of all trades line as well as the Renaissance man label.

But like I said, it’s been a long day and now a customer has just walked in, so guess who gets my attention dear reader. Sorry but it isn’t you. I mean you do get my attention in the space of writing (no not really, I just go into writing mode and ignore most everything with the exception of Bill).

The customer is now gone, he was just browsing. At least he wasn’t tire kicking, which is when a customer asks to see something and then they hem and haw and use the line that I myself had given to sales associates all over the place. ‘I’ll be back’.

I reckon 300 words is a nice enough cut off point until I finish this at home.

And now I am home. Had to close the store you see and also finish a damaged cigar that was in the damaged bin. No one wants to buy a cigar that is unraveling at the foot.

I was out of the shop and waiting on the platform. Caught an express train which got me to the bus terminal rather quickly, but not quick enough to catch an earlier bus. I waited for the 126 bus that I usually catch with Hyman Gross.

The bus driver was quite interested in how Hyman was doing, and seemed sincere. Tonight when I got on the bus and asked the bus driver how he was doing, he merely grunted.

I thought I had a connection of sorts with the driver but apparently I didn’t. Tomorrow night, if and when I get the bus I will try to get an earlier bus and will probably continue to do so until Hyman starts riding the bus again.

Monosyllabic drivers are so passé.

Bill is fast asleep in bed, sleeping soundly and quietly thanks to the new sleep apnea mask. All is well.

I thought this guy was a junkie, turns out he was thoroughly engrossed with his iPhone/Blackberry

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I Am a Cliché

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

Back in the shack full of cigars. Been another alright day. Working with the brain dead Bradley is getting easier and easier. Not that he is making an effort, on the contrary, he is getting easier to ignore.

I don’t think I had more than twenty words to say to him all day. And it gives me a nice enough distance to realize that the ‘man’ is a fucking idiot. I harbored suspicions previously but now it’s confirmed. And he’s a dirty little get over perhaps, or maybe it’s his idiocy.

This morning, as I slept, Bill was kissing my face over and over saying goodbye. I foolishly said to stop and let me go back to sleep, I mean, I still had two hours to sleep before I needed to get out of bed.

I regretted it later of course, like so many things that I do or say when it comes to Bill. But Bill knows that I am not a morning person and it’s a bit risky to tease this wolf before it’s had its coffee. I got up and did my thing, showered, cereal and of course coffee.

Reading emails and checking Facebook I was saddened to read that Poly Styrene from X Ray Spex died after a battle with cancer. Then later on I found out that Phoebe Snow died as well. Not a good day for singers with the initials of P.S. today. Patti Smith better beware.

Other than that the day was not at all impressive. Weather wise it was beautiful but here I was, inside, working with the brain dead Bradley. I was able to take a peek outside as well as seeing the red carpet laid out for Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential Doorknobs near the cigar shack.

The sky was blue, the temperature was close to, if not actually 80 degrees and the paparazzi was all lined up, waiting for those influential doorknobs.

The cigar shack’s cleaning woman just found a portfolio, containing legal documents that some customer left behind after they left the man cave. I looked into the portfolio to see if there was a recognizable name but there wasn’t. Some gruesome photographs though of what might have been a botched robbery attempt.

I saw Julio last night which was good. He’s off to Denmark on Friday. I got my new shoes from him after having them delivered this place of work. He and Stine may be moving soon, maybe staying in town.

It was a matter of time. They couldn’t keep the baby in a pen much longer, he will need room to grow and who knows if they have another baby on the way? It will be strange when they move out, but I already made my excuses not to help him move.

And Juan stopped by last night. Turned me onto yet some more good tunes which I will have to get somehow if someone will show me how to get torrents. It was good to see him again, he was up from South Jersey since his step grandfather died last week and it was wake last night, funeral this morning.

That’s it for now. Have to call Hyman when I get home and will have to see him tomorrow.

And I called Hyman, now that I am home. He is scheduled to have surgery on his foot or leg tomorrow and doesn’t want me to show up when he is in surgery. This is what he worries about the night before surgery.

And a touch of OCD visited upon me tonight. I always think that I didn’t lock the door when I leave the cigar shack and tonight it was the same thing. I almost got off the train to get on another train to go back to the shack to find out. But I always lock it and I always check.

I used to think the same thing about Farfetched. I would think I left a cigarette burning even though there was no smoking in the store. I tell you, if Bill had a car I would ask him to drive me to the cigar shack to check.






new shoes

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I Was Born About Ten Thousand Years Ago

Saturday, April 9th, 2011

The day starts, sleeping as much as I could since Bill was not snoring last night. My knee seemed a bit better tonight, not so much a pronounced limp, more like a slight limp as I was getting around the apartment.

Bill was up and active already, he was headed into his office to catch up on work that he hadn’t done, or wasn’t able to do during the week. He told me I was beautiful and he kissed me goodbye as I was heading into the shower. Tears welled in his eyes. I told him he was crazy and saw him out the door. I love him so.

I got myself together and headed to the bus stop about an hour later. Descending down the four flights of stairs didn’t mess up my knee that much but it didn’t help matters either. I walked to Washington Street a half hour early since the Saturday schedule is not reliable at all, plus the extra time meant I wouldn’t have to hustle.

Chatted with Bill who by this time was in his office. I boarded the bus, uneventful ride into the city while reading the latest Mojo with the End of The Century Ramones on the cover. Taking the escalators, elevators and handicapped ramps in an effort to avoid stair cases. I made it up to the cigar shack area and called Bill once again.

The ace bandage I wrapped around my knee had come undone and was trailing behind me. I cursed it while talking to Bill on the phone and Bill tried to be positive whereas I was all negativity. I think he was fed up at this point and made a hurry to get off the phone.

He seemed busier at work with no one around than he is with everyone around like during the work week. I went to Duane Reade and got a new Ace bandage, self-adhesive since the old school method was no good. Those clips fall off at the most inopportune moments.

Made it to the cigar shack after picking up a coffee and dealt with my first customers, a young Japanese couple who spoke little English. While completing the transaction the phone started ringing.

I’m working with the Bradley today and he was unavailable. I answered the phone while helping the Japanese couple. The caller asked “Am I the one in charge of the Fancy Schmancy pens”. The cigar shack sells some fancy schmancy pens which I am loathe to advertise. I ask the caller, who he meant by in charge.

He replied, “I live on West 88th Street and we obviously speak a different form of English up here.” I say that I was just trying to clarify what he said, it could have meant whether or not I was in charge of ordering the fancy schmancy bullshit.

He mentions that he will be coming by the store after he swings by the United Nations to pick up a translator for me. He wants a gold fancy schmancy pen, which I see we don’t have. I give the phone to the now visible Bradley and let him handle the call. The Bradley tells the caller that I was actually helping out other customers and also eventually tells him that we do not have what he is looking for. I do expect the idiot scumbag customer to come in and make some more trouble for me.

Last night while I was counting money, Calvin suggested that I start coming earlier than my shift so I could relax and have a cigar in the man cave before my shift starts. I almost told him that I value my time away from the cigar shack than I do while in the cigar shack.

But I held my tongue, realizing that that is something he might prefer to do but it is definitely not for me.

Now I am at home. That’s it for me. Been a very long day and it’s over. Have to get up crazy early to be at the cigar shack at 7:00AM.

Bill’s not home yet, still at work. I will stay up and wait for him as long as I can. Took the recommended dosage of Naproxen, so a little out of it. Not writing tomorrow, a day off, but with inventory I might have something to write about. But I hope not.

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I Really Don’t Want To Know

Tuesday, March 29th, 2011

Today is Tuesday which means yesterday was Monday and tomorrow is Wednesday. And it was another day off for me. The next day off will be Sunday and the following Sunday I will be expected at the cigar shack to work inventory at the unholy hour of 7:00AM. But that’s then and not now so I am trying not to think about that.

Lately I have been getting messages from former customers at the cigar shack, asking me how I’m doing. They’re not coming to the cigar shack anymore, instead going to different cigar shops in Manhattan that have lounges. When I had that slurred meeting with Marcus & Calvin, I mentioned the name of one of the cigar shops, calling them our competition.

Marcus was adamant in saying that such and such a place was not our competition. No of course it wouldn’t be if you consider yourself the tobacco equivalent of Hermes or Louis Vuitton. Of course those are actual stores not a boutique that is shoe horned in between a pricey store to buy boots and belts and an eyeglass shop.

Today was a decent day, I did some laundry, ran some errands. A trip to the bibliothèque was in order, returning DVD’s. Last night I watched Annie Hall. I saw that in the cinema, at the Century Theater with my sister.

We made it a point back then to see Woody Allen movies together, starting with Sleeper, Love and Death, Annie Hall, Interiors and Manhattan. Manhattan we saw at the dollar theaters, possibly in Ridgefield Park or Leonia.

We’d travel for a cheap movie. I remember getting weepy at the end of Manhattan when Mariel Hemingway was telling Woody Allen to remember she was only going away for 6 months.

Annie Hall was great to watch last night and I was glad they included the subtitles, showing what Annie and Alvy were thinking when they were having wine on the terrace of Annie’s overpriced ($400.00!) apartment in midtown. With a terrace.

Harpy called in the last 20 minutes so the Los Angeles scenes were not seen, no Alvy crashing his car in the parking lot, no driving through plutonium and no play based on Annie and Alvy’s relationship. Still it was good to hear from Harpy, he calls so infrequently these days.

Bill came home from his writer’s workshop and he helped me out with my leg which had been causing me some discomfort the past couple of days. He helped me stretch it out somewhat as I lay on the floor, Bill holding my foot as my leg was fully extended and helped pull it back to me. It helped quite a bit, and so did the ibuprofen.

I slept really well last night and woke up early enough this morning to catch the Today show which I turned on before stepping into the shower. I need a shave, haven’t shaved since last week and the hair that is popping up is white. If I don’t do something I run the risk of looking like that idiot John Bolton.

The resumes continue going out and I received a call back an hour or so ago while I was in the supermarket. I completed the call once outside with the sounds of buses and other traffic going by. It seemed to have gone well and a meeting is scheduled on Friday morning.

I should be attending that before heading into the cigar shop that day. I also spoke with Casey Chasm who commented last night, mentioning that his phone was destroyed in training. It was a nice brief chat, Mrs. Chasm is due to deliver another child in May and then Casey is off to Afghanistan. I’m sure he’ll be alright.



New Order – Fine Time

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I See Your Face Before Me

Tuesday, February 1st, 2011

It’s now Tuesday. I did not get fired from work. Instead Sean who can now be called Ryan Ramos got the axe. Ryan was a good guy, but 20 years old and full of piss and vinegar and shit and testosterone and puppy dogs tails.

They caught him on camera being off the floor for almost two hours in the past week. He was getting paid of course and that is what upset Calvin and Marcus.

Calvin took me aside and asked how I was doing. I answered truthfully that I was burned out, retail is a drag. He was surprised to hear that and I also told him that most days I come to work I can’t help but feel that it was going to be my last day.

Apparently I was not the only who felt this way, a general malaise had settled on the staff at the shop. I felt better getting that off my chest and the day did not seem so bad after that. I knew Ryan was getting the ax and when Ryan called before he came in, asking me if I knew what was going on, I had to lie.

I knew and could not say a thing. A life lesson had to be learned and I was no student teacher like Karen Valentine in Room 222. The rest of the day went at a steady and strange pace, strange since someone had just gotten fired.

Marcus is a sommelier and had scheduled a class in the back room, after the man cave had been cleared out and the regulars sent elsewhere. Marcus had also taken me aside, asking me what I was doing after work on Thursday night.

I told him I had no plans and he mentioned he wanted me to stay and have a cigar and some scotch with him and Calvin and talk. He expressed concern since he felt he was responsible for my working at the cigar shop.

Apparently he remembered that I had sent him my resume in February of last year and he had finally offered me a job in May. I didn’t apply for the job, but he made the offer. It was nice to know and I agreed to stay for a cigar and some scotch on Thursday night which was fine since I am off on Friday, as well as being off tomorrow.

And tonight a major storm approaches from the west, what is being touted as an ice storm, six inches have been predicted. That will be my day off, and I guess it will be mainly spent indoors.

Another thing that I told Calvin was the fact that the days off here and there are getting to me, to have two days off in a row is so much desirable. A schedule like most of the working stiffs would be ideal.

I can’t expect to get Saturday and Sunday off but perhaps something can be done like a Tuesday and Wednesday off, at least that’s the impression that I got from Calvin.

Strange days indeed. Most peculiar mama, whoa!

I accidentally deleted Kat Charas’ subscription to this blog and was surprised that after all these years, her email doesn’t exist anymore. Come in Kat Charas, your time is up.

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I Got It Bad (And That Ain’t Good)

Thursday, January 6th, 2011

Man, after being off yesterday, it’s tough to go back to work. And it wasn’t anything major, just one day off, but still, if I had a job I liked, a Monday through Friday job, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be feeling the way I am feeling.

Of course, my mind goes back to Wanker Banker, which was a pretty good job. It doesn’t exist anymore and the company has changed so much that it’s probably unrecognizable. For some reason I always flash back to that job.

Last night Bill and I worked on the resume and this morning I sent it out to a few recruiters and positions I found online. Anything could happen. I sent it to the two women who were instrumental in getting the position that I was offered and rejected from last month. They said when I get my resume together, an honest resume at that, they would help me out.

Whether or not they were talking through their hats is not my concern. They responded they will do what they can, if something pops up. I’m sure it’s in their email trash bin. I certainly can’t blame them, since I did burn them. Shorted them of any commission they might have gotten from the sure thing I was in November.
It’s only the beginning of the month, the beginning of the year and I may have a long way to go, but I’ve taken the first steps.

I didn’t sleep to well last night, woke up a few times. And tried sleeping later than usual but Neil Diamond woke me up when Cherry Cherry was played on the oldies station. Not a bad song overall but alarming enough to make me get out of bed.

I shuffled about, dragging ass, not wanting to go to work. Let’s face it. I don’t like work. I’d rather be financially independent, able to support myself as well as Bill and still have money to help out family and friends should they need it.

I did not win the 300 million dollar jackpot in the Mega Millions lottery the other night. 2 people did and are splitting the pot. Now the amount is down to 12 million dollars, which I will gladly receive once I get those lucky numbers.

I made it to work, unwillingly. And I was early, which I could not help. Marcus was hidden in his office, Calvin sniffling in the humidor and the brain dead Bradley was late. Calvin & Bradley are both sick and think that taking a whole bunch of supplements like Echinacea after they have the virus will help.

I don’t think it will help. Once you got the bug all you can do is let it run its course. I was wary about working with either of them, though Calvin was in better shape, not groaning all day long. I probably groan too when I’m sick, but to hear brain dead Bradley do it, is most annoying.

I made it through the day though, brain dead Bradley left early. My register was off by $0.30 and I had to go through the day’s transactions to figure out what went wrong. It turned out I over charged a customer $0.30 and had to void the transaction and refund the money to the customer’s credit card.

I thought I would be late and have to miss my bus. It’s been so cold and slushy out that I’ve been taking the train to the bus terminal. As luck would have it, there was an express train at the station and the doors closed as soon as I entered. Karma at work, I’d like to think.


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