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I Hate Men

Saturday, February 25th, 2012

Another day at the cigar shack. The three days on, three days off shift continues. Tomorrow is Sunday then I am off on Monday. Zack returns from wherever he has been tomorrow. It should be alright, the numbers have been very good, the cigar shack is clean, the humidor has been worked on.

It has been a very windy day outside, so much so that I found myself being pushed along by strong winds and I weigh close to 200 pounds. Well maybe a hair under 200.

Last night I apparently talked Bill in off the ledge. He was understandably stressed with the borderline diabetes diagnosis. All I did was reason with him and let him know that he was getting stressed about things that he didn’t know about and had no control over. The doctor will talk to him on Monday and that’s when we now.

He was worried about his cousin’s sons, a 14 year old and an 11 year old. I told him that more than likely if he was in the room they would be concerned about him, but being a pre-teen and a teenager it’s out of sight, out of mind. Anyway, Bill thanked me for talking him in off the ledge. I didn’t know that was what I was doing, I was just talking to him the way Julio used to talk to me.

Also telling him to get out of his work clothes might have helped. When I get home the first thing I do is get out of the clothes I’ve been wearing all day. Helps to create a distance between my life and my work. Bill usually just wears the same thing he’s been wearing all day until he’s ready for bed. That would not work for me, unless I had no choice.

Saturday night and the area around the cigar shack is quiet and dwindling. Tomorrow night is the Oscars so that should be exciting. I am glad Eddie Murphy is not hosting it. I suppose Billy Crystal will do his shtick and it should work. I just want to get home, get out of these clothes and have a nice cigar and watch some Saturday Night Live.

Other than that it’s been an alright day. It started out to be annoying but as the day got better so did most everything. Lot’s of gay couples walking around. That’s nice to see.

Now I am back home. Bill is in the city. It has gotten colder out and the wind cuts like a cliche. I have walked through the door and changed my clothes, now I sit in tracky bottoms and a denim shirt. The last 15 minutes of The Grapes of Wrath is on TCM. Never saw the whole thing but once again I caught Tom Joad’s speech.

I wonder if Jane Fonda ever said those words to Henry Fonda. We do know that peter Fonda has gone off the deep end, training his grand kids to be armed militia men to fight the traitor, President Obama. More acid, Peter? Do you really know what it’s like to be dead? We know your career knows. Someday you’ll find out.

My Boo






09 53 Miles West Of Venus
One more day of work tomorrow, not posting. Be nice to each other.

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I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues

Monday, February 20th, 2012

It is President’s Day today and a lot of people have off and most students in this area have off for the week. Not sure about college students but then again I am never sure about college students. It’s been a busy day at the cigar shack and now I am in the three days on, one day off mode.

My next day off is Thursday and I will attempt to take my niece Corinne to see the Doug Wheeler show, starting off nice and early, like maybe getting there at noon. If it doesn’t work out, well there will be plenty of other galleries to check out.

Yesterday was quite an interesting day. Bill did not sleep too well the night before. He’s been having some problems lately and they all came to a head, so to speak over the weekend. It was intense enough that I considered canceling our plans for Sunday afternoon. Bill wasn’t having it and after trying to catch up on his sleep with the out of the ordinary interruptions.

We headed into Manhattan on the Path train. The plan was to see a friend of mine that I used to work with back in Wanker Banker days, Janelle Rintrona having a show at the Duplex on Sheridan Square. She had been posting invites about her shows for sometime and since I had off I figured it would be nice to see. And it was.

It was fairly crowded and I remembered why I don’t do this sort of thing anymore. It’s expensive. 4 Coronas, 2 apiece for Bill and myself were $30.00, 2 drink minimum you see and a $15.00 cover charge per person. It was my treat since Bill is always treating me to things and I didn’t mind the cost since it was fun and I did have the money.

I just love hanging out with Bill and yesterday was no different, plus since he’s been unwell I was able to keep a close eye on him. I didn’t know many of the songs that Janelle sang but it was enjoyable nonetheless. I would have not have gotten the cup of mixed nuts since it was $2.00 but it was Bill’s request.

A walk back to the Path train and a quick ride to Hoboken. We walked down Washington Street, passing 3rd and Washington Street around 6:45 and at 7:00 the building on the corner caught fire and burned throughout the night, and restarted this morning causing all the residents to be homeless.

The building will have to be razed, including the fruit stand on the street level. Already a benefit is planned for the residents the first weekend in March. Hoboken is good like that. The same thing happened earlier in January. Another fire, another benefit.

Bill called in sick today and saw the doctor who told him what was more than likely happening. Almost biblical. I suppose it was a good thing that Dr. Fioretti did what he did when I was newly born.

Janelle Rintrona and Bassist




Washington Street shut down



16 Madman Across the Water

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I Could Break Your Heart Any Day Of The Week

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

Not sure if I will be able to write tonight so I am attempting to write earlier than usual. Tonight is a glass blowing demonstration so getting home will more than likely be later. Now contrary to what you may have heard or thought, I have never blown glass. So it should be an interesting evening all around.

I had to get up earlier than usual, a run to the supermarket as well as the dry cleaners. A cup of coffee was what got me out the door. Then I had to get dressed for work, trying to look extra special for the glass blowing demonstration. Yesterday I was on time, let the usual buses go by as I waited for my 10:30 bus, which did not show up.

I wound up walking to the Path train and rode in. I had Bill’s Verizon card which is what we’ve been using at home since Hurricane Irene did some damage to Cablevision’s service. No broadcast channels, no premium channels and no Internet access. Bill asked me to drop it off at his office but since my bus did not show, I would be running late so Bill made it a point to stop by the shack on his lunch hour.

This morning was the same thing and I caught a bus, the first one I saw actually. Didn’t want to gamble with the 10:30. Oddly enough the earlier bus dropped me off at nearly the same time as the 10:30 bus, due to traffic. I was able to walk over to Bill’s office where I met him on the street.

He was stressed last night and I was stressed this morning, from having to hustle so much earlier than I was used to. But it’s a job and it’s the job that I have. Plus it helps that I enjoy cigars so working in a cigar shack isn’t so bad despite what you gather from reading this here blog.

From the Schmuck Master regarding yesterday’s asshole: I can’t imagine anyone else in the shack handling the situation as poorly. Obviously you are the only sales person disgruntled enough to ignore the basic tenant of sales, the customer is always right. No wonder you lag behind your peers in terms of sales and never made an effort to up sell or even be the least bit helpful to a customer.

Really?
Wow, the bitch nailed me perfectly with a bubble and a feather. Can the Schmuck Master get any stupider? Does she really think I am such a bad employee that I would drag the store down? That Calvin is so daft to put up with such nonsense? That management is really that inept? Obviously it seems to think that way.

And I’m not a landlord so yes I do ignore most tenants. Tenets are wholly another thing.

No matter though, whatever comments it feels like posting won’t make the blog anymore, though of course I might use it for my own entertainment. It is more than likely a customer at the cigar shack, emasculated enough that they don’t have the balls to say whatever they want to say to my face. Just as well, can’t expect too much from punk ass bitches such as this.

I just got home about 20 minutes ago from the glass blowing demonstration. I’ve blown and been blown but never have I seen such craftsmanship with what I had seen tonight. Why I’m sure a vaginal discharge named Jon Rosin could not have been happier to put their lips around a long shaft. After a few Stella Artois and a few questions that I had asked, I was awarded (with everyone else) a nice package to bring home. Who knew the Lebanese blond was so easily obtainable? Glad I did the smart thing.

Schmuck Master has been rendered as Spam, so whatever that thing had to say will not be seen by my eyes (nor yours) and life will go on happily without it’s hemmoroidal outbursts.



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I Can’t Hear You

Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

Another other day another doofus. That was my Facebook status in the beginning of the day. Woke up feeling hungover, but not from alcohol since I did not have a drink. More of an angry hangover and that anger met with despair this morning.

Last night was the staph meeting and it went relatively well, the only problem was the fact that someone (more than likely Jerry Vale) threw out my bottled water. I didn’t get home until after midnight which did not make me very happy.

Bill once again kissed me goodbye, telling me he loved me that I was beautiful and I said in return that I loved him too and asked him to be careful. I walked to the bus stop and sat waiting for my bus, smoking a cigar that I started last night and feeling such depression. Nothing happening job wise, no responses from real people or companies, just bull shit from Career Builders and the ilk.

I was so trapped in my own head as I stared out the window. My neighbor Deborah got on the bus and talking with her certainly helped me out. I was avoiding talking to Bill, not calling him while waiting for the bus though I did call him once I was near the cigar shack. He noticed the despondency in my voice and I did my best to lie and just say everything was awesome. Word to the wise, if you ask me how I am and I say ‘awesome’ I am more than likely not awesome.

I of course had to bury my feeling and my state of mind when I started work which may have convinced Calvin that I was OK but Thomas knew. Of course Thomas knew. I confide in him and hope he is trustworthy. He is a gentleman. Or at least his blog states that he is.

As the day progressed my spirits had gotten somewhat better. I spoke with Bill again and also with Pedro. And made plans for a beach trip with my niece on Monday. Something to look forward to. On Sunday I am scheduled to go to Millbrook NY and represent the cigar shack at some event that to my dismay does not involve LSD.

I volunteered for it thinking that it would be nice to get out of town and since I am off Monday and Tuesday it seemed like a near perfect getaway.

At last I am home once again. And once again I am, if not down in the dumps, in the vicinity of them. At the cigar shack, the area around the cigar shack was shut down due to a suspicious package found nearby. No evacuation, just a lot of people walking past, a lot more than usual and drivers and pedestrians yelling at each other.

I ordered food since I was hungry and hadn’t eaten since 2:30 in the afternoon. Of course the delivery was late and the order was incomplete. I have to remember to not order from Good Burger anymore. They always fuck up my order.

A day off tomorrow and my only plan is to see the Guitar Bar All Stars as they play by the Hudson River. It will be good to see the funniest woman alive once again as well as her husband Mr. Wonderful and their kids. And I get to sleep later than usual tomorrow morning.

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I Can See Clearly Now

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

Today seems to be a big nothing kind of day. Not much is going on, slow at the cigar shack. I’m ambivalent about most things including music. And sales. Can’t say I am hustling since there is really no one to hustle to. The Bradley is playing Aimee Mann so you know what that sounds like.

I slept really well last night and not getting out of bed until just before 9:00 which is cutting it close in my book. In fact that was probably the only time I have hustled today.

Been thinking about some names from my past, Danielle Perry Cruz, Felicia Tennis Court, MaryAnn Molloy, Cotton Wright, Benedict Whatsisface, Derry Pedovitch. Just thinking about the names not the actual people. You know that at least one of them will do a Google search eventually and this is what will pop up.

It’s a beautiful day weather-wise ad once again I sat on a bench near the park, enjoying a cigar and reading ‘Our Band Could Be Your Life’ Started reading about The Replacements. I just finished the chapters on Husker Du and Minor Threat.

I had no idea how much crap these bands went through but they certainly paid their dues. I just never got into hardcore. Too angry and violent. The Replacements I saw a few times, sometimes great sometimes a shambles. Always at Maxwells too. Rita was closer to them than I was, though she did introduce me to Paul Westerberg.

Today is Bill’s mother’s birthday and it is also Julio’s birthday. Tomorrow is Bill’s birthday. The plan is to go to dinner with him at Arthurs and then when he goes home, I go to Maxwells and meet up with my brother Frank at the benefit for Danny Amis. Should be some old faces there.

Ha! Fucked up a bit. Sold some cigars to a cigar bar and neglected to include the receipt. So I took it upon myself to go to the cigar bar and drop it off. Usually they offer me a beer, but I don’t really drink anymore. I will probably have a pint with Bill tomorrow night for his birthday but that should be about it.

So many people offer me drinks and since I’m not drinking much these days I am thinking a polite way to say no thanks is to tell them I’m an alcoholic, which I’m not, but should end all offers for a drink. Not a friend of ‘Bill’ but rather his partner.

Now in the cigar shack it’s me and Thomas. When I went out to lunch earlier I took my iPod with me which basically turned out to be my giving up choosing music for the shack. So since then we heard Aimee Mann, Ben Folds, John Legend, Thelonius Monk’s son playing Thelonius Monk songs and now we are hearing the blues.

It turns out that I dislike the blues as much as I dislike jazz. Does that make me a bad person? No, I don’t think so. I find them both equally boring and uninspiring. I don’t begrudge anyone liking those genres but I would rather not listen to them at all. But what’s fair is fair.

I’m sure a lot of the music I like is not liked by others, but I would rather hear Hold On, I’m Coming by Sam & Dave rather than BB King & Eric Clapton. Oh how I loathe Eric Clapton.

Former co-worker Harold is also Sylvester Randolph who is doing porn. He can be Googled. And I also found out something today at work about the register, something I should have known before.

Everyone else seemed to know about it but me. A felt like a bit of a doofus, but didn’t say anything else after I mentioned it to the Bradley.






Home again. A little depressed and physically tired.

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I Am the Walrus

Tuesday, May 17th, 2011

The rain poured down quite heavily this morning as I was sleeping, it was raining hard enough that I wondered if there was to be flooding when I headed out to work. It stopped for a while when I walked to the bus stop and held off as I made my way to the cigar shack.

Things are improving at the cigar shack, the new regime isn’t fully installed yet but I assured Calvin that I was up for the task of working underneath him. I don’t want to see him fail and will do my utmost to support him.

The day started out easily enough despite working with everyone’s favorite cipher the brain dead Bradley. Calvin was in a meeting with Marcus in the man cave as I set about starting up my duties. I spoke with Bill a few times and was surprised to get his call about an hour later.

He had some sad news. Our friend Hyman gross had passed away. The information was sketchy, gather from Hyman’s nephew. Apparently Hyman died either en route to the Jewish Home in East Harlem where Hyman was going for rehab for his broken ankle, or once he was actually placed in the home. It was a shock, though we knew it was going to happen sooner or later.

Hyman was about 84 years old, his heart was broken since his companion Joan died in 2009 and he was very lonely. Bill and I could only fill that void so much, and the moments when Hyman was alone, waking up almost every night at 3AM. He told me sometimes he felt so alone that he would call the suicide hotline. He never went that far, but I’m sure the idea was there.

I feel bad, and wish I could have done more for him. I also wish he didn’t hit my buttons so much that I would tell him how upset he was making me.

I am glad that I was able to see him in the hospital and bring him the New York Times. I am also glad that he was able to see Bill perform in 2 plays. And I am happy to have been able to take him to what turned out to be his last Thanksgiving dinner at the Waldorf Astoria with Bill.

I tried to get Hyman to write his life story down, he had quite a few tales to tell. Being cruised by Rex Harrison was just one of the stories.

At the end of the night a vendor came to the cigar shack with a bottle of champagne to toast Calvin and his promotion. I was asked to sit in and I gladly did, enjoying a cigar and a flute of the bubbly. Calvin turned to me and asked how I was doing since I told him about Hyman’s passing.

I told him I regretted not being able to say good bye and Calvin understood. I then asked if I could make a toast to the memory of Hyman and Calvin and the vendor and I clinked glasses in Hyman’s memory. It was nice. Calvin was able to get a ride home with the vendor and I closed the store, making my way to the subway.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Hyman, how he was surprised that I would walk from the cigar shack to the bus terminal in minutes (before my knee got jacked up of course) and be able to catch that 9:42 Willow Avenue bus with him.

He always brightened up when he saw me and I was usually tired and grouchy by then. Still I would sit and talk with him. The bus drivers knew Hyman and tonight when I told the bus driver what happened to Hyman, he was visibly saddened.

I am sad to see him go, and I hope he is happy somewhere out there in the universe, hopefully with Joan. Rest in peace, Hyman Gross.

Hyman Gross

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