Category Archives: Iron my Shirt

A Big ‘W’

Well today has been a day in the doldrums. Not much to be enthusiastic about. Not even sure where this is going if it goes anywhere. Just so much bad news out there. Pissed at Obama, pissed at my friends. Pissed at the situation I find myself in.

Still I have to get it together for work tonight. It shouldn’t be a problem, excepting the stage fright that occurs between now and then. I did go out today, walked around Hoboken. Sat and read more of the Barney Hoskyns book on the Band. I know where it’s going and I know how it ends. Maybe I should quit while I am ahead. I do have an Oliver Sacks book that is on loan from the bibliothèque.

I returned two DVD’s which should have been returned yesterday but didn’t. One was Moonrise Kingdom which I saw with Annemarie in the cinema, and at home with Bill a few weeks ago. Juan mentioned that he wanted to see it so I got it and then Juan did not come over. I hung onto it in the hope that he would and the way things stand now, who knows if he’s ever coming by.

I also got into a heated comment discussion with Pedro in which he picked up on my anger and suggested I call him. I declined by saying ‘later’. I won’t call him and deleted all my comments on his wall. I also deleted some things I sent to Juan’s wall. In the parlance of Pedro and Juan as well as the kids today, I am ‘the wrong nigga to fuck with’.

Things are looking up but then again from my vantage point, looking at the bottom of my shoes could be seen as looking up. I am so disappointed in Obama with the ruse of cutting Social Security and Medicaid. I know the line that since he is including closing tax loopholes for the rich the idiotic republicans won’t go for it, but the mere thought of putting Social Security and Medicaid on the table is troublesome. I can safely say that I do not think I will support anyone running for office again, at least not in the manner that I supported Obama. And forget about the Republican Party. They are just shit.

About Richard Klatt. Richie, as he was known in my neighborhood was the younger brother of Marge Williams, a wonderful woman who lived a few doors down from my family in Lodi. Richie was a bit femme and his obvious sexuality was unspoken. He wore wigs and smoked a pipe and loved the Supremes and was in the Navy before working for the post office.

He stopped by the house after my mother passed away and I remarked once he left ‘there goes my role model’ which got a laugh from Frank, Annemarie and Brian. I do hope Richie didn’t hear that and take offence. I know that it is life, people come and go. Doesn’t necessarily bring a smile to the face though.
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I was going to post this last night but obviously did not. Went to work last night, the restaurant was quite slow. I was lucky enough to miss major rain storms. I just got to Maxwell’s when the sky opened up, therefore insuring that people would not be going out for dinner. There were no bands playing so it was all restaurant.

After 3 hours it seemed like it was not going to get any better. I headed home and within minutes of sitting down with Bill who just got in a few minutes before me the skies opened up again with lots of lightning, some close enough that we could hear the air sizzle with electricity. It was intense.

I heard from Juan again which was good. He’s got his problems which I know nothing about. I have a full plate so it’s just as well that I know nothing about them.

Now I am making dinner and plan on heating it up before I head back to work. And tonight I will stay no matter how slow it is. There are bands playing so that should account for people showing up. Let’s hope so. Time goes faster when you’re busy.
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Sex Pistols- Satellite

I Still Want You

It’s a Friday and so far so good. A lazy day at best, and the funny thing is, I am actually going out tonight. Me. On a Friday. It should be an early night, once more home by midnight. I am going to the Mercury Lounge to see Port St. Willow. A mention by Brian Eno in Mojo Magazine about Port St. Willow was enough to peak my curiosity. I trust Eno with musical choices. He was the one who hipped me onto My Bloody Valentine 22 years ago, and last year it was Port St. Willow. An affordable ticket, an early show and I am there.

But not yet, since I am still home. In all these years I don’t think I’ve been to a show at the Mercury Lounge, though I could be wrong. I do remember a friend who had a record label having a showcase with an open bar but once Rand and I got there, the bar was not so open so Rand and I wandered around the East Village winding up at Downtown Beirut instead. We had a good time there though Rand was a bit disgruntled about the bait and switch which he grumbled about.

Today has been very low key so far. I ran into the Russians in the hallway last night. Now there are 3 people plus a baby living downstairs. One speaks English. They don’t complain, and I don’t give them any reason to complain. I do try to walk light footed around the apartment. Living above Chang & Eng Kleinke for 11 years in Weehawken was a lesson learned since they were the landlords and prone to complain about everything thing I did, including complaints emailed about Bill’s raucous laughter while watching Saturday Night Live. They went so far as to restrict Bill’s visits.

They claimed it wasn’t fair to my roommate William, but William didn’t care. It was the beginning of the end for my relationship with Chang & Eng, and towards the end of the year I had moved out, back down to Hoboken. Apparently Chang & Eng were upset with my leaving and not saying goodbye as they watched through their venetian blinds. Chang Kleinke was heard to mutter that I should be glad the door didn’t hit me on the ass on the way out. Chang & Eng eventually royally screwed William and Chaz by not offering the house for them to buy.

Chaz and Kathe went one way (and then split again), William went another and Chang & Eng Kleinke have been safely ensconced in a condo a block away on Gregory Avenue in what was once some sort of factory. They will be together forever and I can only hope they are happy with that.

So tonight I am heading out. In a few hours I’ll be on the Path train, then walking through the Village to Houston and Ludlow. A Facebook friend expects a report so I suppose I will be writing one either tonight or tomorrow. More than likely it will be tomorrow.
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Ist Pics 6.21.07 002
Oh Yeah

I Should Have Known

So my helping out the cigar shop is over. Well maybe it isn’t but I do have pride so basically it’s over. It was humorous. Brandon at the cigar shop called me last night and we talked about the situation. I surrendered my key on Tuesday night as Shlomo had instructed. It was actually Israel’s key, but since Shlomo is his partner I figured I should listen to Shlomo. Well Israel didn’t like the fact that I gave his partner Shlomo the key. Since I wasn’t going to be in on Wednesday as they would have liked, I thought the new guy, Moishe was going to need it anyhow.

Still it left me without knowing where I stood. Yesterday when I returned from New York City I stopped by the cigar shop. There was Moishe with a friend just sitting there. I asked for Shlomo and Moishe told me I just missed him by a half hour. I asked him if he was going to be working today since I usually help out on Thursday and Moishe said he was. So I walked away, figuring it was over. Brandon, being the one most capable of the incredibly rare skill of communicating, was who I called later on.

And Brandon claimed that he did not know anything. Where Moishe told me I just missed Shlomo, Brandon told me that Shlomo had flown to Tel Aviv at noon on Wednesday afternoon. Brandon said he would talk to Israel and Israel should call me later last night. I was up until 12:30, no phone call from Israel. Since there was no text from Shlomo, no phone call from Israel and nothing from Brandon (even less from Moishe) I was happy to sleep late until 9:00. Still bloody cold outside, I was also happy to stay in. It was better than sitting in a cigar shop wearing my coat and hat with very little heat like I did on Tuesday.

Despite the cold I did go outdoors and had a walk around Hoboken. A short volunteer trip at the bibliothèque and then I walked to the Guitar Bar and chatted with Mr. Wonderful Jim Mastro. I went to the post office for Jim and stopped by Hoboken Cigars located across the street from the post office. Some of the workers seemed to recognize me from helping out at the cigar shop, but I just stepped in and got a quick smoke before heading out. I took a photo of Hoboken Cigars and posted it to my Facebook page. A patron from Facebook said it was a great shop and I agreed.

Israel saw it and chimed in, ‘Enjoy it my friend’. I commented in return that I did while waiting for a phone call which never came. I walked up the street, past the cigar shop where to my surprise was Shlomo. He did not go to Tel Aviv after all. He motioned for me to come in but as I was smoking a cigar I dared not. After all just like there is no fighting in the war room, there is no smoking in the cigar shop. He came out in the cold and wanted to know what was going on.

I mentioned that I heard he was in Tel Aviv. He said he wasn’t- which to my untrained eye, seemed obvious. He asked if Israel called me and I said he hadn’t. He didn’t know what to say. I did not mention that on the phone call last night Brandon sort of offered me the night shift and weekends to help out. I told him I would think about it but with the lack of communication that they have shown, it seemed doubtful. It’s too bad since Brandon is a nice guy.

After talking with Shlomo on the street, I came home after running errands, made dinner and after that the phone rang. It was Israel. He seemed upset. He asked what was going on and I proceeded to let him know. How nonexistent communication causes problems and obviously there are problems since no one communicates. I pointed out the example of a week or so ago, they called me in and I went, thinking it was the usual 9 to 5 thing. It was the rare occasion that Shlomo, Israel and Brandon were in the same room, plus a roller. They were off to a wedding expo.

Cigar rollers are a thing that goes on at receptions these days. They got their stuff together and left. At 5:00 I texted Brandon asking what was going on. He responded they were at the wedding expo and would be there for a few more hours. I was upset which I think would be understandable. No one said when they would be back, and perhaps I was foolish to think they’d be back at 5:00 or maybe 6:00. I also mentioned that their filing system looks like it was created by Helen Keller to which Israel suggested that I work for Helen Keller then. I had to tell him Helen Keller was dead.

I explained that all I wanted them to do was buy an accordion file and I would index and file all their paperwork and invoices. This was something I suggested to Shlomo several times and was ignored just as many times. I thought about getting them one for Hanukah but figured that they would be better off doing it themselves. Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, teach that man how to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime, unless he doesn’t like fish.

It started getting heated. Israel seems to be a bully and had no problem interrupting me as I spoke but if I interrupted him, then he would be greatly upset. Apparently he is quite used to getting his way. How very Netanyahu. It ended with me wishing him good luck, hoping nothing happened with the cigar shop, which being a Zionist- took it as a threat when there was no threat. I explained that I’ve been in Hoboken for 30 years. I know the people, I have a pretty good idea how they act and I also know people in city hall. He took that as a threat as well.

He went off about how he found out I was smoking in the store, when I wasn’t. I explained that I was the one, out of Shlomo and Brandon and myself- that did not smoke in the store. But he got a phone call that said I did smoke in the store and I remember that day very well. It was a few weeks ago, Brandon was in when I came in, just passing through. A salesman stopped by and blessed the store with some new cigars and so I clipped one so I could smoke it later.

But someone walking by saw me with the unlit cigar in my hand or in my mouth so therefore even though it was not lit, it was said I was smoking. Israel took the word of strangers over someone who handles his money, his stock and his store itself. I showed loyalty to someone who had no loyalty to me. If I was a thief there were plenty of opportunities for me to clean them out. But I am not a thief, I’m a good guy. It is basically his loss overall.

Believe me, I can do damage. But I won’t do damage. It is not my style, and it’s wrong. I’m not that vindictive.

So the cigar shop is over, with Israel saying that he was not letting me go, that it seems to have been my choice. He also said that he heard that I had gone on an interview and that I would leave them in the lurch should I get a real job. That wouldn’t be me. In fact during that interview, the cigar shop was discussed and the interviewer mentioned that it would be alright if I would have to give the cigar shop two weeks notice, which is what I would have done. Israel said that he had gotten burned like that before and just knew I would do the same thing since I am just like those other people. And I did not bring up the contraband, for which Bill thinks would be a good reason not to be there should the state department visit and ask about certain Habanos.

An hour later-
I just got back from the cigar shop, picking up my barter for the two days I did work this week. Shlomo and Brandon were there. Shlomo commented about how bad Israel is with communicating and I wasn’t about to let Shlomo off the hook. I told him he is even worse than Israel with communication, how I could be working with him for an hour, then all of a sudden he just gets up and walks away, not to be seen for hours or until the next day, at least not by me.

I told them how Shlomo and Moishe sat there on Tuesday for 7 hours in the basement smoking and not saying anything to me. No ‘John this is Moishe, he’ll be helping us out.’ I shut Shlomo down with this, calling him on his own hypocrisy. Shlomo did mention that both Israel and Brandon would be leaving the cigar shop, onto other things and Brandon didn’t disagree. I told them I doubted that I would be going back there again and they hoped that wasn’t the case, that they might still need me from time to time.

I explained that I do have pride and after dealing with that Zionist hoodlum himself, Israel, I couldn’t really see myself working for him again. They both replied, ‘Oh but he’s never around and not going to be.’ I wonder if Israel knew about that. If he did why would he be so upset when he had his quite irate phone call earlier with me. I figure if someone was leaving a company or business, they would more than likely not give a shit. Or perhaps it’s just that miscommunication is better than no communication at all.

A subtle memory- The only person who I mentioned the interview to at the cigar shop was Brandon. It was after the fact and I told him in passing. I was taken aback when Israel brought up the interview and told both Brandon and Shlomo outside the shop how surprised to hear Israel mention it. Shlomo was as usual dumbfounded and Brandon was immediately in denial, and suggested that it was Shlomo. I pointed at Shlomo while talking to Brandon and said “Shlomo didn’t know. You were the only one that I told.”

Those lights

Those lights


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I walked home feeling like George Costanza.
Army of Me

I Shall Be Ever Maiden

Last night was very quiet, almost dull but that is how I wanted it so I am not complaining. Bill was driving to Atlantic City and if he were around it would have been perfect. But someone has to make the donuts and Bill enjoys driving a bus so I guess it will work out. I watched It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World and it was just as silly as I remembered. When it was originally broadcast on TV when I was growing up it was always an event, a 3 hour event at least for boys around my age.

I watched with one eye on the TV and another eye on the computer, reading about the making of It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World and I almost looked like the illegitimate offspring of Sandy Duncan and Marty Feldman. I also was able to pick out a few cameos, like Don Knotts and Buster Keaton and to my surprise, Joe. E. Brown. I say surprise since I don’t believe I had ever seen Joe.E.Brown in anything except for maybe a Drew Friedman cartoon. Joe E. Brown plays the union organizer outside the hotel slated for demolition.

I’ve been on Facebook lately. I know, how unusual. I am never on Facebook. I’ve reconnected with some old friends from back in the day and saw some other friends and almost reconnected but thought, it’s been 20 years. Do we have anything in common? It’s a crap shoot I guess. You might be able to find a common ground, or you might not. They might have become an ultra conservative and a gun fetishist where as I am not. That was directed at someone in particular that I hold dear but who has been pissing me off a lot lately.

And now I find myself at the cigar shop. Shlomo has a bar mitzvah he needed to attend in the Bronx and begged me to sit in the shop. I suppose it’s easier for me with the setup we have than to find someone they can trust, someone who knows cigars and could sell cigars, and also someone with a key to the cigar shop. Oh and not paying me is a plus for them too. Bartering for cigars works fine for both of us and maintains the legality of the whole schmear. And since I know the River Street crowd fairly well it’s a win win.

Of course it’s a slow start to the day. And when I finally have a cash sale,there is no change in the till. That means a walk to my bank since banks just won’t give you a roll of quarters if you don’t do you business at their bank. I’ve written it before, I like Shlomo, Brandon and even the invisible Semite Israel but they do not communicate with each other, much less me and though it’s their business it seems like they do not know how to run it. I guess it’s a good thing I am here.

It was alright working at the cigar shop. Certainly more busy on weekends than during the week. I guess nannies and au pairs aren’t smoking many cigars these days. I did run into Liz Gall a former Maxwell’s employee. It was funny to run into her. I was outside the cigar shop having a quick puff and I saw her walking by. I wasn’t sure if it was her so I said ‘Liz’ in a quiet voice. She stopped and from then it was hugs and kisses. She was off to dinner with mutual friends and I had to get back into the shop. We made plans for a coffee at some date in the future.

Now I’m home, Bill is driving again. Not much going on, but I’m glad I could help out my Hebrew friends at the cigar shop. And the AVO’s aren’t as bitter as I remembered.

Shlomo and Israel's fave Kosher cigar

Shlomo and Israel’s fave Kosher cigar


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Strawberry Letter 23

I Saw Her Again

It’s actually pretty funny, looking through some friends Facebook pages and seeing some mutual friends. Friends that they’re friendly with on Facebook whereas I am not so friendly. I mean I am not mean but would rather keep them separate from my two Facebook pages. One guy’s page I was looking that threw me for a loop since I always thought this guy was probably 10 years older than me, well it turns out he’s actually a few years younger than me, it’s just that he is an old Italian woman most of the time, just not dressed in black.

He’s still in the closet, a deep walk in closet since he doesn’t want his family to know that he’s gay. He’d even gone so far as to marry in the past and have a kid or two but overall the guy is a big queen. Following his friend’s page there are a few other guys I could have sworn were older than me, but it turns out they are quite younger than me. Younger than a lot of my friends who I had already thought were young. I guess these guys are just prematurely old men, older acting than me.

Today was an alright day, nothing special. Bill was off to Boston to visit his friends. I of course remain in Hoboken. I saw Mr. Wonderful Jim Mastro at the Guitar Bar and chatted with him for a while, then headed over to the cigar shop where I chatted with Shlomo for a few minutes. I had a nice Opus X while I sat in the lounge that is under construction as well as being underground. It was cozy and relaxing and unfortunately I could not stay too long as I had another place I wanted to visit today.

With the Opus X burning quite nicely I walked up the boulevard, past a graffiti exhibition, past young men selling M&M’s out of a box, for the football team which just ended their season a few weeks ago after winning the state championship. Jewelry was being sold on small tables’ curbside, next to scarves and wool hats. I didn’t need jewelry, and I was wearing a scarf and wool hat so I was fine on that front. I walked up past Maxwell’s up to a lingerie store where my good friend Lois was playing holiday songs on her violin in the window.

I finished off my Opus X, and stepped inside the shop. Not buying lingerie, merely suggesting a song or two for Lois to play. I recommended Good King Wenceslas which she picked up right away, sawing away and doing a credible job. Lois looked lovely in a green dress festooned with Christmas balls. She was soon taking a break, enjoying a pear and I headed out once more, walking the cobblestone streets of Hoboken.

I just got a message from Julio who sent it at 5:00, asking me if I wanted to have a glass of wine. Nearly 3 hours later I responded which could be a little bit late. Either way is fine with me, drinks with Julio, or merely staying in. Well Julio just responded so it may still be on.

Lois

Lois


Cigar shop guy

Cigar shop guy


Trust in the bronze age sky god. not yourself.

Trust in the bronze age sky god. not yourself.

I Really Like Him

Well it certainly feels like winter has arrived though it’s not official. Very cold and blustery outside today. It is just as the forecasters announced on the news the past couple of days. It looked like it was going to rain when I went out earlier so I brought and umbrella. I was off to see Raymond at the smoke shop. Shlomo was in as well as his partner, Israel. It was a good opportunity to have a smoke and chat with Raymond. He gets along really well with Shlomo and Israel and it is through Raymond that I’ve been in their good graces.

I enjoyed a smoke and using whatever expertise I had from the last job I held I was able to help various visitors to the smoke shop and turn them from visitors into customers. Just out of being a nice guy. I’m certainly not getting paid. I would like to see Shlomo and Israel succeed and I don’t mind helping out. If they want to throw me a free cigar, that’s fine. And if they don’t or can’t, well that’s fine too. Whatever I can do to help them out while I am just hanging out, I do.

Bill came home this morning and soon went to bed. He usually drives to Atlantic City tonight but there is a different itinerary. He’s not driving to Atlantic City, he’s not driving anywhere. No, he is home tonight and will drive tomorrow to somewhere different. The neighbors are still doing their illegal construction, furniture in the hallway, of course it’s the part of the hallway where the lights are out so if one isn’t careful there is a chance you can walk face first into a sofa. There are a lot of things moving in and out of that space.

Mr. Wonderful Jim Mastro was on TV earlier. The local NBC affiliate had something about small businesses in Hoboken today, how they are doing after the storm and there was god old Jim, playing a mandolin. He also had screen time, telling people to shop local (in Hoboken). I’ve done my bit, getting that ukulele earlier this month during the dark ages and I hope other people purchase items at the Guitar Bar (as well as Guitar Bar Jr.) and the other stores in town. Hoboken still needs help despite city hall saying 93% of businesses are back.

The Path train is still out, no trains to and from Hoboken. The Erie Lackawanna station is open There are plenty of buses and there are plenty of buses to take people into the city and back. The word is that the really big supermarket will be out of business until February of next year. And of course there are the rumors. In the smoke shop a guy was talking about how Radio Shack was looted. It wasn’t. Nothing really bad happened crime-wise in Hoboken. No hordes, no Visigoths descending from Jersey City Heights to pillage the mile square city. Where do these people get their information?


Another Girl, Another Planet

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

It’s been an alright day today. I was out and about, ran into some friends, Mike Cecchini and then RoDa. I saw Mike as I was off to the really big supermarket and we each had tales to tell about the bibliothèque. Mike volunteers there too. Some notes were compared and some laughs were had. He’s a supportive chap and says he will be at Maxwells on October 25 (next week!) to see me play and support the Hoboken Fair rent Association. I’ve noticed some guerrilla tags popping up around town so someone is on the case, reminding people of what’s going on.

I walked by RoDa’s neighborhood and I heard him call my name. He was about 50 yards away and I was on a mission. I waved and pointed to where I was going, thinking I would swing by on my way back. It’s incredible that by walking about 15 minutes out of my way I could save quite a few dollars. And that is just what I did. Bought a few more items that would have been a few dollars more at the local supermarket, and despite its proximity it isn’t that convenient. And it’s double coupon week too!

After that I walked back past where I saw RoDa but he wasn’t around. He was probably waiting for his son to come home and when he did, they went home. I did see RoDa the other day so I am sure there were no hard feelings. When I came home I found I had a Facebook message from Chaz. He was off to see New Order somewhere in the city, but not only that, he wanted to tell me there was a cigar shop opening up in Hoboken on Washington Street. So once again it was outside for me.

I had walked earlier down the avenue but did not see it, but then again I wasn’t looking for it. I did have my resume and looked funky business casual when I walked into the shop which is being reconstructed. Unfortunately, none of the principals were there, just a guy who was doing some touch up painting and didn’t speak much English. He was concerned about me getting paint on what I was wearing but it seemed to be alright since I left without a smidgen of paint on my person. I walked back along the riverfront promenade.

No one I knew along the promenade. I suppose the other buskers were in for the season, it has been getting darker earlier and it is considerably cooler. Just as well, I didn’t feel like playing catch up with Tariq though it would have been good to see him. I came home and practiced the guitar, figuring out some songs to play next Thursday. I’m not going to say what songs since I haven’t fully decided on what I am going to play. I hope they will be inspiring or at least different than what anyone else would be playing.

I think I am fourth in the lineup and I have been told I will have four songs to play. This will be the first time I am playing solo. Rand declined my offer so I am on my own. I did think about asking Mike Cecchini but his band is playing around the same time and he will probably be busy practicing with them, though he did say that he will be showing up at Maxwells to see me play. So far I have three supporters, Mike, RoDa, and of course Bill- who will be recording my short set.





15 Use Ta Be My Girl

I Need You Tonight- Backstreet Boys

Hump day? Yes, hump day and for me another day, the third day at the new gig. It’s been interesting so far, I just have to remember to breathe and relax and not get flummoxed as I am still in training. Of course I am swinging for the fences and should really concentrate on my batting stance. What’s with the baseball metaphors? I don’t know, they seemed appropriate. I do enjoy writing earlier in the day rather than later like I have been doing for so long. Can you tell the difference? I don’t know if I can so I will just keep on keepin’ on.

Another morning where I get up and start the routine, shower, coffee, cereal. Then I find I am still tired so I set the alarm and go back to bed, falling into a deep sleep that seems like hours when it is actually less than 30 minutes. It happened yesterday and it happened again this morning. I was woken up by Bill who had the day off to take care of his mother, a trip to the beauty parlor then a doctor’s visit. He was moving things around looking for some of his mother’s documents.

He found most of the documents and headed out and after two cups of coffee I went back to bed. Perhaps the coffee prevents me from getting more than a few minutes, but then again after the nap I do feel refreshed and more than able to get in line with the order of the day. And I still have a few hours to go before heading into the job. It’s how I fill those hours that can be tricky. I am sure I can find some things, some activity to do before I head in. Something besides sleep.

I had a good phone call last night with former co-worker Brenda. She had received a call from the director at the new job and I am pretty sure that is what got me the job. She was so effusive in her description of me, that I would have hired me if I had gotten the call. Of course there is still no word from Zack/Calvin/HotSauce/Whatever and I certainly don’t expect one now. I suppose whatever his name is, is still sore or at least his lack of ego is still somewhat bruised. In the meantime I look at what I wrote and didn’t post and still enjoy a chuckle.

Brenda was great though, a lot of catching up. Who is getting divorced, who moved out to Short Hills and who is having or had a baby. She is working for a great guy, someone I enjoyed supporting when Brenda and I worked together all those years ago. And I am glad that Brenda is happy. She’s in midtown and next time I am in midtown we have plans to have a coffee together. It was a positive phone call and negative comments were kept to a minimum.

I just found an appointment from a few years ago, meeting Amy Holgerson at Thomson Reuters at 195 Broadway. If I recall that meeting went alright but still I did not get the job and therefore still serving my karmic sentence at the cigar shack. I had a laugh last night talking with Brenda about a position at Matlin Paterson, across from the east side cigar shack and in a building where Brenda once worked after Wanker Banker went under. Another position I was qualified for but did not get. At least I thought I was qualified, but Jennifer Muscarello obviously did not feel the same.

Funny thing happened today. I ran onto Ira Kaplan. I ran into him last week and here we are again meeting on the street. A few laughs and chuckles. Then I go to the new gig and what comes up, a few Yo La Tengo CD’s and the book written about Yo La Tengo. Was today Ira Kaplan day? It was a good day for it.






11 Map Ref. 41ºn 93ºw

I Miss My Mary

Saturday night’s alright in general. Been a fairly nice day, woke up being hugged by Bill which is a really nice way to wake up. He came home later than expected last night and I stayed up waiting for him to walk through the door. Bill was exhausted once again, but I guess the opening of the play went well. I went to bed soon after Bill’s return and at 3:00 he was still awake working on something for the play. He told me this morning he didn’t go to sleep until about 5:00. After 4 hours of sleep, there was Bill hugging me in bed.

Bill went off to Philadelphia to see his friend Martha who has been working in theater for a number of years. I suppose Martha is his theater guru. So a Greyhound to Philly was in the cards for Bill. I stayed local of course, doing whatever it is that I do one weekends. It’s not busking that’s for sure. I don’t even know if anyone is busking on a weekend. When last I checked on a weekend, back when I was working, there was Tim who would be doing nearly note perfect Bob Dylan songs from when I was born.

The weather forecast was for thunderstorms on and off throughout the day. Well that never happened. Still I wore my boots when going outside, looking up to see blue skies with the occasional cloud groupings but no rain. Now as the sun sets, the skies have some possible rain clouds but I don’t know what they will do until they get here. The cicadas are singing their songs and it’s unlikely I will be going outside again. Plus there is a Harry Potter marathon on again and true to my nature, I am drawn into it once more.

There is a meeting for the Hoboken Fair Rent Association on Tuesday, of course it’s the same night as the Guitar Bar All Stars doing another show, this time at the Shipyards rather than Sinatra Park. Hopefully I will be able to do both but it will be cutting it close. Once again it depends on the weather. If it’s raining I doubt here will be a show at the Shipyards.

I did stop by the bibliothèque and got two DVD’s I ordered. One is The Fantastic Mr. Fox which I have seen before. Nice cute movie by Wes Anderson. The other is the award winning, The Artist which I had not seen. My sister loved it as did many people who have seen it already. After the Harry Potter marathon I can always throw it in the DVD player and enjoy it properly. The errands are done, I’ve eaten dinner and I have taken off my shoes.

Not much else planned for the rest of the evening and not much planned for tomorrow as well. And I have my doubts on writing tomorrow since it is a Sunday and you know I don’t write on Sundays despite what GZA might have to say. So it goes.








Cornelius Bros And Sister Rose – Too Late To Turn Back Now

I Like What You Say

It’s been raining all day. And of course I had a job interview today. I sometimes take that as a good sign since I once had an interview that took place on the day of a monsoon and it went very well back then so I think it has to be good luck. It wasn’t monsoon like at all but it was certainly a steady rain. It was at 3:00 this afternoon so I was able to take my time. There was a five page application which I needed to print out and complete which was no problem at all and gave me something to do for 5 minutes.

Then it was donning a suit for the first time since May 23. I planned on leaving the apartment around 1:30 and since the interview was across the street from my former employer of McMann and Tate I was planning on taking the Path train in. I headed out with an umbrella and walked to the Path train. I would have taken a bus to the train but a bus did not show up until I was a block from the station. I sat on the Path train and noticed that I was going to be quite early.

If it weren’t raining out I would have found somewhere to go, something to do to kill some time before heading into the interview, but since the weather was what it was I decided to ride the Path rain to the end of the line and staying inside where it was dry and air conditioned and ride the train back to 9th Street. It was a very good idea and once I got back to the street the rain was coming down quite hard. I headed down 6th Avenue and took my time as I was still quite early.

I had a quick chat with a canvasser for the ACLU. I explained to the young woman that I fully support the ACLU and that since I live in NJ I also support the NJCLU. She wanted to talk and try to get some money from me, so earnest and cheerful she was, but I begged off telling her that I was unemployed and off to an interview. As soon as I said that she said ‘OK bye’ and looked for her next target. I continued on my way and stood under the marquee by the IFC Center which used to be the Waverly Theater.

I chatted with Bill for a minute or two on the phone before going into a newsstand where I got the latest Mojo and Uncut magazines. No matter what I was going to do I was going to be early, but these little stops ate at the clock enough that I would only be 15 minutes early which I thought was better than 30 minutes early. I rode the elevator to the 11th floor where there was no one in reception, so I just stood there until they showed up.

I explained who I was there to see and told to have a seat. I sat on a couch and watched the rain fall outside. Simone who was interviewing me arrived and we had a nice chat in a conference room, as I explained my resume. How that job got me to that job while Simone wrote on my resume with a lot of arrows going this way and that way and her shorthand explanations regarding what I was saying. It certainly went a lot better than I expected, especially since I had no expectations. This was a company I had interviewed with a few years ago and this one went a lot better.

This time I was on the 11th floor, last time was on the 10th floor in an area that looked a lot like something from Terry Gilliam’s Brazil. Simone told me she would contact me either way by next Tuesday and the entire process could take place for about 4 weeks. So I think it went well. Of course there are dozens of other people she was seeing so my hopes aren’t that high. In the meantime I will just read Mojo and Uncut, and perhaps finish Retromania by Simon Reynolds before it has to be back at the bibliothèque.



Outside My Window

I Like It- The Blackout All Stars

Last night I heard from a former co-worker. Nice guy, hadn’t heard from them in a while. He has a way with words and being a little older than me, there are many tales he likes to tell. One of the last times we worked together he started to repeat his stories and I had to tell him that he told the story to me so often that I could repeat it back to him.

He doesn’t feel that comfortable where he’s working and now that I’m gone, he feels the music business is not what it used to be. It had been some time since I left that world and to hear him say such things, and then doing an about face and talked about how he plans on doing better after watching a Clive Davis video.

Listening to him talk about what was said (which sounded like a death rattle) , he told me that he plans to persevere and follow Clive’s direction. Apparently he has decided to take a big gulp from the Kool Aid being offered. I did ask if a certain wombat was still working in the organization and he said that the wombat was still there, still being as horrid as he had been, in fact the wombat has gotten worse.

Considering it has been over 10 years since I had last been there and not much had changed at all, I was surprised that the wombat still has the same desk, doing the same work he has been doing for about 20 years. Then again I shouldn’t be surprised since he has a debilitating drug problem and still he gets to work every Monday through Friday, and even attends the events after work, it is probably the only thing the wombat can do. And you wonder why the music business is in the shape it’s in.

It’s now been a week since I was dismissed from the cigar shack and I do hear from some customers. I guess contact between me and Thomas and Jerry Vale has been restricted. One of the customers mentioned that someone that I didn’t much care for was put off by my dismissal, saying it was typical of how the cigar shack handles things.

Having worked for the cigar shack long enough I can attest that he is right, certain things are handled in a hush hush, sweep it under the rug as soon as possible manner. Since I am no longer there, I can’t say that I still care but I was surprised that this certain customer actually had some nice things to say about me.

Bill had off today from the day job, having spent three of the past five days driving a bus. He came home last night, had a quick bite and promptly went to bed. I stayed up watching Mad Men which I missed on Sunday night. It was good and I am glad I forgot most of what the synopsis I had read previously.

Tonight I am going to an art installation at the ferry terminal in town. Why not? It’s free. From there I might just take a ferry to Manhattan and attend cigar night at the Eagle. Since I went last month and handed out cards for the cigar shack, talking up business for the shack, I feel I should go and let the fellas know that I am no longer in the cigar shack’s employ and that they might as well go back to ordering their cigars online, rather than visit a place that let me go. It should make for an interesting evening overall.





20 Mellow Yellow

I Just Want To Celebrate

Back home after a day back at the cigar shack. On board today were Zack, Bradley and Thomas as well as myself. It was a long day, and not because of the cigar shack. I went to bed earlier than usual last night and did not sleep well. At 1:30 I was up again at the computer just to get out of bed since trying to get to a deep sleep was proving to be impossible.

I took a melatonin but it did not do what I hoped it would do. About 30 minutes later I was back in bed, tossing and turning and having vaguely violent dreams. Luckily I did not hit Bill. But I kept waking up every hour and tossed and turned again. Kept thinking about the cigar shack and kept thinking about two phone interviews that I had earlier in the day.

Nothing was guaranteed but I could not help but think about the combination of jobs and job offers and it didn’t exactly make me relax. I had to get up early in the morning and start my day with a meeting in midtown. A familiar neighborhood with unfamiliar faces. It went well though nice space, nice people and now it’s all wait and see.

Of course in the back of my mind it’s all ‘you’re in over your head here’ even though it is all about things that I had done before and did them quite well. Will Google (oops!) call me back? Who knows? It would be nice though. The hours promise to be a bit crazy but manageable.

And throughout the day I kept getting phone calls from the really cool company with the ping pong tables in Newark. I’m not taking them too seriously since I am way cool enough and they’ve been stringing me along for a number of months already. The whispering tones of Jerry Vale waft through the air, singing ‘you may not like it here, but you do have it good here’. I will ask him to elaborate more on that tomorrow when I work with him again.

Today was pretty good at the cigar shack. I did get top sales though Bradley did grab the official title since he had the big money account from a rinky dink cigar lounge a few blocks away. The rinky dink cigar lounge orders several times a week, dealing mainly with Bradley. Scott Raspberry runs the rinky dink cigar shack and when he calls he asks for his ‘boyfriend’ Bradley.

And the guy who works at the rinky dink cigar lounge and picks up from the cigar shack occasionally makes ‘fag’ comments when he talks to Bradley. For these two reasons I don’t have anything to do with the rinky dink cigar lounge and won’t set foot in there ever again.

I did have my going away party at the rinky dink cigar lounge when I was leaving Wanker Banker but never knew of the goings on behind the scenes, like how the the guy who picks up the cigars for each order can procure young women for sex if a customer wants one. Apparently you can get in a limo and cruise the streets and get a blow job in the back seat as the driver makes his way through the streets. No, it’s not my scene.

Now I am home and happy to be here. Bill is asleep once again and Bill Maher prattles on the television behind me. Back to work tomorrow and hopefully Sunday Bill will be singing the national anthem at CitiField, if the weather permits.

I asked the LaRouche people why Obama has a Charlie Chaplin mustache,..


...they said it was because Obama makes funny films like Chaplin.



Ogle!




some other guy


20 Dream A Little Dream Of Me

Happy 420 everyone

I Just Love You More

Well I was going to attempt something thinking I had the time to do so, but now it seems unlikely so I won’t. Oh well. I guess later. Can’t forget the Bill texting/laptop thing this morning. Or the gay events that the cigar shack has planned.

That was from the other day. Never got around to writing the rest, made up something else instead. The Bill texting/laptop thing was a bit of an annoyance. Bill texted me three times that morning, telling me he forgot his laptop and could I bring it into the city, to his office. Normally I would not have minded, but I had the volume down on my phone so I didn’t get the texts until I was on the street headed to the bus stop.

So for me it was climbing up four flights of stairs in my suit & tie to get the laptop. Bill was annoyed and worried since he didn’t hear from me until just then. Of course I didn’t mind, and hoped he would have at least called, I would have heard the phone vibrate. It was a minor thing and I did meet up with Bill at the bus terminal where I made the handoff and a kiss farewell, Bill off to his office and me off to the cigar shack.

It was brought up at the cigar shack that I should spearhead a connection to gay cigar smokers. So it’s been planned that at the end of the onth I will be going to the Eagle on Cigar NIght, handing out cards and letting the guys know there is a gay friendly spot in midtown where they can meet up before going out for the evening and enjoy a cigar and each other’s company.

How it will go over, I can’t say. I suppose I will find out at the end of the month. I luckily have the day off the next day so I might be able to enjoy myself somewhat. Then again it won’t be an all night affair since the bloody Eagle is so damn far away from any modes of transportation. We’ll see how that all turns out, won’t we?

Today at the cigar shack, it was Bradley & Jerry Vale and myself. Not a bad group though Bradley was quite moody for the first half. Methinks the xanax wore off and he was back to his ‘normal’ self. He gave me one of his Xanax a while back and it was like an industrial sized horse pill. I write this not knowing whether or not it’s true, it is mere speculation.

A half hour left for me tonight and another day tomorrow. And tomorrow’s cast will be me & Jerry Vale and little miss bourgeois herself, Thomas. That’s what I figured out this morning, Thomas is so bourgeois. It’s not a word I use often, if at all, but if the label fits, use it girl! So there won’t be any post tomorrow and I am off on Monday so that makes me somewhat happy. Just have to make it there.

I Heart You

Monday again. How did that happen? It doesn’t matter really how it happened. It’s almost over after all. A little over 2 hours left actually. Where did it go? How did it get here? This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife! Anyway, here I am home from work.

I was in an hour earlier today. The schedule to prevent Thomas from whining is in effect. Yesterday was a nothing kind of day. Did do much, didn’t go anywhere. I did go to the record store after I joked with Annemarie on the phone about applying for a job there.

On the door was a help wanted sign, full & part time. I dare not apply since I have butted heads with them a few times, basically about how when CD’s are used in listening posts, the CD should be labeled as used, not sold as ‘new’. It’s a sticking point and I’m sure most record collectors would be on my side. Despite all that, I wandered around looking at stuff and left empty handed. I generally buy my Mojo & Uncut magazines there, that’s it.

Something like Kindness, a band from the UK that I bought last week, I bought on iTunes. This just reminded me, that I need to make a CD of it as a backup of sorts.

Bill was fast asleep when I headed out around 3PM, a vanilla sky overhead and me on the phone with Annemarie. I came home and Bill was still asleep. I don’t recall what I was watching on TV, I was watching Philip Glass on PBS, a performance of Satyagraha. I wasn’t watching it, just listening to the music which of course, sounded like Philip Glass. It’s a good thing I like Philip Glass.

Bill woke up and I decided to take a nap. It wasn’t that relaxing since Bill was talking to the TV and I have no idea what he was watching. I did ask him to wake me up in about an hour, which he did, then I asked for another half hour which was granted though I only slept about 10 minutes more, giving up and calling it fruitless.

We watched 60 Minutes, then The Simpsons, then Bob’s Burgers which I really like. It was all leading up to the season premiere of Mad Men which I allowed myself to be swept up in all the hype. I enjoyed it somewhat, as did Bill but he went to bed halfway through and I stayed up keeping one eye on the computer and another on the TV, making me look a little like Marty Feldman.

I started watching Capote which Bill and I saw in the cinema when it came out and yes it was still very good. Philip Seymour Hoffman was outstanding as Truman Capote, certainly deserving of the Academy Award. Midway through I went to bed.

Not a good night’s sleep like the other night, but enough to get through the day. And it was a nice day at the cigar shack. Zack and Thomas and myself. I have to admit that I was hesitant about working with Thomas. He’s got a lot on his plate and it’s been wobbly as of late. Today he was fine and no need to be hesitant.

Zack was cool as usual. I had a nice salad for lunch and as I was eating I got a call from Zack, asking me to visit the other cigar shack nearby and pick up some cigars for the store as a swap. Since I did the leg work, I got the sale, so I was happy about that.

Now I am home, got out an hour early. I walked down to the bus terminal, listening to Led Zeppelin, once again figuring they would provide the best soundtrack as I stomped my way down the avenue. And they did the job.


the Moon with Venus...?


07 O-o-h Child

I Heard Love Is Blind

Another day at the cigar shack. How many times have I written that as the lead in? Today it’s a Tuesday. I guess I didn’t scream in the middle of the night like I did the night before as Bill told me I did from Sunday into Monday. I don’t recall that at all, but then again I was asleep.

He said it might have happened around 1:30 and since I don’t go to bed until 1:00 in the morning I doubt if I fell fast asleep enough to yell. Perhaps it was Bill having a dream. I did have a dream last night that involved Amazons. I think it had something to Trayvon Martin.

I’ve been reading a lot about the murder of 17 year old Trayvon Martin and posting on Facebook. In this information age, I am surprised by the fact that a number of people I know, Bill included, are completely unaware of this tragedy. I had tried to avoid hearing the 911 phone call and last night I heard it. Truly heartbreaking.

The lout of a community watchman slurring into the phone and not listening to the police officer on the other end, telling him not to follow Trayvon Martin. But he did, and frightened Trayvon Martin enough that Trayvon tried to get away but was cornered and on the tape you can hear the 17 year old boy screaming for his life, then you hear a gunshot and then nothing.

The murderer whose father is a lawyer with ties to the Sanford, FL police department, was not tested for drugs or alcohol and not arrested for the murder of Trayvon Martin. In fact neighbors who had given the police their accounts of what happened, were steered by the police, saying the screams were of the shooter, 250 pounds versus 140 pounds. A tragedy for all concerned. And for me, another reason to not go to Florida.

At the cigar shack it’s been weird. For a good part of the day I felt like an outsider, which I guess I am but it was compounded for some reason. I did excellent sales wise today, my first sale was a lot of money. My high tide raised all boats. And then my second sale wasn’t exactly small potatoes. Thomas wasn’t in today but I know that if he were in today he would be quite jealous and would let me know how upset he was. But he wasn’t.

Of course in the back of my mind, there is a calendar countdown. The customers have 14 days to return the items and make me eat the sale. So I still have some breathing space I guess.

Today is the first day of spring and the temperature was most definitely springlike. Quite nice at lunchtime and I was able to enjoy a cigar as I sat on the bench near the park and read about David Bowie recording Ziggy Stardust and Lee Renaldo talk about Sonic Youth with a picture of everyone’s friend Bob Bert from that long ago time of the 1980’s.

Now it’s the last hour at the cigar shack, things have quieted down considerably. I just want to go home now. Still have an hour to go.

Now, I am home.






15 Voices Inside My Head

I Hear You Now

I woke up this morning with Bill hovering over me and kissing me goodbye as he was off to the gym. He took off from work again to clean up his stuff in the apartment again. I went back to sleep for a little while, getting out after hitting the snooze bar twice, before the third hit.

I shuffled about getting my own shit together. A bowl of cereal after a shower and a shave and soon I suited up and headed to the bus stop. Once again I find myself comfortable in my role at the cigar shack and once again something happens which basically is a ‘Not so fast Kowalski’ moment from Mad Magazine in the 1960’s.

I know about that since my brother Frank had it hanging on his bedroom wall for a long time when I was growing up. I met Bill at the bus stop after he was done with the gym and I was waiting. It was the highpoint of my day, being able to spend fleeting, quality time with Bill.

After a kiss I got on the bus as Bill said hello to Shirley, the surly bus driver who seemed a bit nicer after seeing Bill & I kiss. At the next stop was neighbor Deborah and we chatted about the usual things with me adding the fact that I am somewhat comfortable at the cigar shack, and how my writing a blog for the cigar shack seems to be progressing nicely.

A beautiful spring in winter morning as I walked up to the cigar shack, right on time as usual. Everything seemed alright most of the day, it was Zack, Bradley, Thomas and myself. Some work is being done overnight so Jerry Vale was coming in later to stay the night and over see the workers doing whatever it is they are scheduled to do.

Zack mentioned that Thomas and I might have to stay late, which of course we were willing to do albeit reluctantly. Some eye rolling was done which upset Zack greatly. Of course in his time, he would have gladly done whatever was asked of him, as would Thomas and myself. Sure we might bitch but the job will get done regardless.

So there was bad feelings this afternoon which fulfilled my feeling that things would get weird at some point today. Things cleared up but it did leave a bad feeling in my mouth. Zack felt we were taking advantage of Jerry Vale, since he is the new guy, or maybe newish. Funny, he doesn’t look newish. But we’re not taking advantage.

Jerry Vale needs the money, he just moved to a new apartment and mentioned to me, and perhaps anyone else who would listen that he will be working for the rest of the year, no vacation plans in the immediate future. I just talked about it with Jerry Vale and he mentioned that he brought it up and volunteered for the overnight shift.

So no, no one is taking advantage of Jerry Vale.

Don’t get too comfortable.

Shepard's Pi 3.14159265




Angels and Devils

I Have Seen The Rain

Today has been a good day. I was off and I didn’t over sleep too much. 15 minutes was about all I needed and 15 minutes was about all I got. Bill was up and out hours before I got out of bed, leaving me with a farewell kiss and a pot of coffee to remember him by. He makes the best coffee. There were no real plans today except for laundry, a trip to the supermarket and the dry cleaners as well as a visit to the bibliothèque. It all went well I am happy to report.

A walk around Hoboken after the library included a stop at the local record store where I got the latest Mojo & Uncut Magazines from a very indifferent guy behind the counter who was more interested in labeling the latest used dubstep cds than being helpful. On the way out I saw Bill Ryan who used to run the late great record store Pier Platters. It was a brief ‘hello how are you doing’ said in passing. Good to see him though, I see him maybe once a year rather than almost every day like it was all those years ago.

The building that was on fire a couple of weeks ago is now down to two floors left. It’s been a steady demolition and the streets around the building are still closed to traffic. I think the benefit that was held this past Friday went well and clothing and other items are still being donated via the Rotary Club.

It was a beautiful day on Hoboken, the sun was shining on a clear blue sky but it was also quite cold. It was good to get out this afternoon. I was going to stop by the Guitar bar and say hello to Mr. Wonderful, but it was after school so the place would be busy with kids taking lessons or parents waiting to pick up their kids. I did make it back home and watched some TV which I eventually turned off and opted to hear music instead.

There was a plan to meet with my friend Lois tonight and pick up some socks that she has. But once I got home I was pretty much settled in and luckily able to meet with her on Friday instead. Now Bill is home and I can’t type for shit. No really. It’s taken me quite a while to get this far. So many typos which you won’t see since I will correct them all before it goes online. It’s so much easier to surf the net or read friends postings on Facebook than it is to write.

Once again Dorothy Parker’s axiom rings true, ‘I hate writing but love having written’. And that applies right now to a project that I am going to be involved with. I have the ingredients but need to get started on it. And the five ideas I have are subject to change as are the subjects themselves. I know I can do it, I have done it already. Some tightening up, some clear headedness and of course time is the main requirement.

No distractions. Bill and I watched a Spalding Gray DVD the other night and Spalding spoke of being in a writers colony, the McDowell Colony, where he was afforded the time and space to work on his project. Of course I do not have the access to such an environment but it would be nice. But right now the artist colony is where I am at, right in front of the computer. It’s not where you’re from it’s where you’re at.






I Guess I’ll Miss The Man

It’s been a weird day. Interesting and a little bit entertaining but overall generally on the weird side. I can’t really say why exactly, perhaps it was the melatonin I took last night as a sleep aid. Not easy going to sleep and definitely not easy waking up. Bill was supposed to do his volunteer work for Felipe Luciano this morning, meaning that he needed to be out of bed at 3:30 this morning.

At 7:45 he was kissing me goodbye. Didn’t quite make it. Too many interruptions in the night. So he has to be back on whatever medication he needed to be on. He’s not driving tonight so I am happy that he will be home when I get home. I love coming home when he is home. He is so exuberant and genuinely happy to see me, much like I am when he comes home and I am the one who is waiting.

The cigar shack has been doing alright. Today was Zack, Bradley, Thomas and myself. And I was mainly off the floor counting items and putting away new stock. My numbers are down a bit but Thomas and Bradley keep mentioning that I am way above what I was expected to make, so I have a cushion of sorts and get no sympathy from either Thomas or Bradley.

It was warm enough or so I thought when I went to lunch, so I got myself a nice cigar and sat on a bench near the park like I usually do when it is warm out. Of course my timing was off and after 15 minutes of sitting in the sun, the sun moved further west, creating shadows that made the temperature drop considerably.

So reluctantly I went to the man cave to finish my cigar. I sat there reading Uncut and listening to a playlist I created modelled on songs that I initially heard on WPIX-FM in the late 1970’s as well as other songs that would fit. I ended with Blindness by the Fall which is actually a song I first heard on a car commercial. I suppose Mark E Smith got paid.

A little over an hour left in the shack. Thomas and Bradley are long gone, leaving Zack and myself. Jerry Vale came in after his other job to sit and have a cigar. I had such a good time last Friday with Bill at the Fab Faux birthday party that I couldn’t help but look back and wish now was then. It doesn’t happen that way, I know but still I was wistful.

Jimmy Seltzer stopped by the cigar shack with an interesting proposal of which I am game. It was said in passing but when hear more about it I will more than likely do something about it. So hungry right now. Should have had more for lunch than a crappy hot dog but no, I wanted to sit by the park. I will live, I have food at home. I just have to make it home.

Now I am home and Bill isn’t. I was hoping he would be here. Oh well. Looks like I will be the one with open arms waiting for him when he walks through that door. Still, I am glad to be home.

And yes, the fat fuck himself, Chris Christie vetoed the state legislature that approved same sex marriage. Coward.



What is Love

I Fought The Law the Bobby Fuller Four

It’s a day off after four days of eleven hour shifts and it’s a welcome day off. Last night when I came home my legs felt like lead and I wasn’t that communicative walking through the door. Bill was understanding and sympathetic and gave me my space as I wordlessly got out of my suit and tie and into something a little more comfortable like track pants and a sweat shirt.

I sat at the computer much like I am now and added the pics and whatnot to last night’s entry. After a little while Bill went to bed after a generous hug and kiss while I stayed up watching whatever it was that I was watching. I slept really well and once again woke up to Bill kissing me good bye for the day. I am so grateful that Bill is my spouse, forever in my life.

He told me he loved me and how sweet I looked and I mumbled and went back to slumber once he left. I slept a lot later than I expected to and eventually got up and did my morning shuffle. After just one cup of coffee I headed out, walking to the library to return the Ahmet Ertegun biography (spoiler alert: Ahmet died).

It was an enjoyable book, he certainly was a character. And there was one brief mention of Arif Mardin in the book, calling him ‘arranger extraordinaire’. That was it. Tom Dowd was mentioned as was Jerry Wexler. I guess Arif came onto the Atlantic scene later in the story where Jerry Wexler was there almost at the beginning and Tom Dowd shortly thereafter.

I ran into Mike C from up the block at the library where he does some volunteer work. We chatted for a while as I picked up Green Lantern which was really bad. Mike recommended X-Men First Class saying it was much better than Green Lantern. I hope he is right. I also picked up the first season of Community which is really a funny show and now in limbo on broadcast TV.

Tony’s chair was occupied at Mr. L’s so I came home after running to the supermarket and had some breakfast. I went out again, a little while after that and Tony’s chair was now free. I walked in and Tony was happy to see me. Once he again he did a very good job, cutting my hair and trimming my goatee while telling me about how he is going to see a nerve specialist in Paramus to look at his arm which he injured a while ago.

Tony is in his 70’s and not mending as much as he used to. He’s worried that if he gets an operation done on his left arm he won’t be able to use it anymore and then no more haircutting for him. After that I headed back home before taking a stroll around Hoboken, stopping by the Guitar Bar where I saw darling Lily and her father Mr. Wonderful.

I mainly talked to Lily as Jim was conducting business on the phone. She looks great and is enjoying college life. I told her I was enjoying her radio show on the college station and she got a big kick out of that. After that I was going to go to the post office but I neglected to bring my Netflix DVD as well as any holiday cards.

It didn’t matter about the holiday cards since I am still not sure about sending any out this year. I have a feeling some will be sent out, and some will be received late. But they are holiday cards so it really doesn’t matter since they’re not specific as to what holiday I am sending a greeting about.


05 Save It For Later

I Feel So

Cookie’s email. Claire’s return.
Shooting video of Bill’s jazz combo Thursday night

Just some reminders of what I could write about tonight. I could also write about how Jerry Vale and I have stopped communicating after his hissy fit on Sunday morning. An apology is what is expected and an apology is not forthcoming. So I guess for the next two and a half hours we won’t be speaking.

I will be busying myself with various mundane tasks and he will stand there with his hands in his pockets, staring out the window like a dog in a puppy mill. It’s funny since the night before, Saturday night, Jerry Vale and I were talking about work and Thomas and Bradley. I told him that when I’ve butted heads with Thomas I would always apologize for being a bitch and Thomas would generally apologize for being a bitch as well.

But like I wrote, no apology seems to be forthcoming and that’s cool. That means I do not have to listen to him talking about how excited he is for the upcoming ski season, or how he is getting a secured credit card and best of all I do not have to lend him money anymore when he is skint.

So, Cookie’s email. I have a cousin whom I’ll call Cookie. She’s sweet and her family and mine were once really close. But with the passing of time and life interfering we’ve gone our separate ways. I have to admit that I think she is a member of the tea party and every now and then she sends out emails about this and that, how “they’re” taking away the right to say the Pledge of Allegiance or some sort of nonsense.

The most recent alarming email from Cookie was how the new dollar coins wil not have In God We Trust on it and how that is a sure sign about how things in this country are going down the toilet. I almost always read her email, check with snopes.com and send her what I find, which is generally telling her that she’s been hoodwinked.

And once again I did that with regards to the dollar coins. She did respond in kind, thanking me for the information as well as explaining that snopes.com is blocked where she works so she just sends out the email rumors and whatnot regardless if it’s true or false. And like I said, they’re almost always (99.9%) false. Still I love Cookie very much and don’t mind letting her know what’s what.

Last night after a run to the grocery store I ran into neighbor Claire. She seems to be back, things did not work out out in Montauk where it is perhaps too cold for surfing. We ran into each other on the street, both of us expressing our hopes that 2012 simply has to be better than 2011. I guess we’ve both had bad years but I am not holding out much hope for the new year. I sense more stress and strife and lately being hopeful has only sunk me into deep depths of depression.

One good thing I have to look forward to is the fact that I am shooting a video for my beloved Bill when he plays with his combo on Thursday night. It should be fun and there will be food and drink and I will be able to spend time with the one I love as well as his band. It’s a good thing that I am off on Thursday. Oh I forgot about the cigar shack computer…I guess I will write about that tomorrow.




Electronic – Idiot Country

I Feel Like Dancin’

I can’t help but wonder if someone toasted me with ‘May you live in interesting times’. For these are interesting times. The nap after breakfast thing that worked so well yesterday did not so shit today. I was so sure that it would.

After breakfast, after the shower, after checking emails I figured I had enough time for a quick nap before getting on with my day, but it turned out that it was impossible, even with the optimum circumstances of it pouring rain outside. So with nothing better to do and more time to kill I surfed the net, took out the trash and recyclables and then got dressed.

A stop at the dry cleaners was afforded by my extra time and after that, en route to the bus stop a all too brief chat with Bill. He was inundated with work much earlier than anticipated. I stood near the bus stop, enjoying a cigar under the canopy of an antique store which is only open three days a week. I guess the shop owner, also owns the building.

Despite my being early I did not count on being stuck in the Lincoln Tunnel in bumper to bumper traffic. It wasn’t so bad, since I was above ground I was able to text Zack to let him know that I would probably be late. No response and of course I had no choice but to continue on my not so merry way to work.

And of course when I got to the platform it was crowded which meant no trains had come through in a while. The a capella guys were there with their stand up bassist doing their usual credible job but really I wasn’t in the mood for them nor did I have any money to toss into the hat. And that is something I don’t do so much anymore, no money for my once fellow buskers.

Work was alright, somewhere to go, something to do, and something to smoke. Just Bradley and Zack and me today and it wasn’t so bad. Bradley’s been really great lately and Zack as I wrote a few weeks ago is expecting a child with his wife. So he’s in a good mood. Nothing hormonal on his end. And now I am in the final hour, dregs of bourgeois society clamber on through the area, dragging their feet and falling off their wet heels.

The Sugarcubes are on, Bjork singing Birthday. It beats the New Orleans holiday dirges that play on endless loop in this shopping area. With each trumpet blare I loathe Wynton Marsalis a little bit more. A little over twenty minutes left in the cigar shack and I am very glad to be off work tomorrow.

It’s been a while since I’d seen Jimmy Seltzer which means he will probably be in tomorrow when I am not. He did have good advice as well, reminding me that I am a good worker. True I don’t like my job but I still come in every day and do a good job, I am a team player, well regarded by the customers mostly. Or at least by Jimmy Seltzer.




08 Hey, Snow White

I Dread The Night

Man do I work with some bitches or what? Today it was working with Othello and Iago. Overall it was sort of like working alone. The man cave was available to smoke in again and sure enough it was crowded. I’m not sure tweaking the nipple of a neighbor who has been complaining is the right thing to do but what do I know?

I’m not management material. That would be Othello’s position with Iago his loyal lieutenant. Last night wasn’t so bad, I was working alone, leaving Iago to close the shop. Working with him is like working alone. We only speak to each other when we have to. And lately Othello speaks only to Iago.

I’m fine with that, I just putter along, doing my job and doing whatever is asked of me. I offer no input, no suggestion that annoying the complaining neighbor is a bad idea. No I just watch them build their house of cards, hopefully being far away enough when those cards come falling down.

The lawyers are getting paid so that’s good I guess. It is not that comfortable working like this but it is certainly manageable. I’m practically enjoying it, since it certainly gives me plenty to write about. Tomorrow Iago won’t be in and since I am off both Thursday and Friday it will seem like three days off.

And another good thing is the fact that Thomas will be in so it will be good to have someone to talk to during the day. I am nearly certain that Othello will do his best to keep us from conversing but things have gotten so familiar that a nod or a wink is just as good to a blind horse.

I slept really well again last night and got up at my own speed, no more hustling about in the morning. It works out fine, moving at an easy pace. I was on the street a little after 10:00 and as I talked with the hubby on the phone I walked up to the bus stop. It was a bit nippy but not too bad. Once again I waited for my 10:30 bus, enjoying a free cigar a salesman blessed me with.

At the next stop, neighbor Deborah and her boyfriend Kevin boarded and we had a nice chat. Deborah is very supportive of me and so is Kevin. She’s trying to get me a gig at her firm and according to her it looks promising. She reckons that something might happen in December so if that is so and things work out, then I might just drop out of the retail scene and move back into the private sector.

It doesn’t seem like there is any reason to give notice and who knows if the cigar shack will even be in existence in January? Of course it is all speculation and there would be ripples in the pool. But worrying about bitches is not my problem, I have my life to attend to and it would be paramount to move on to the next level.

So if Othello or Iago is reading this, there you have it.

Exactly.





02 Kiss Kiss Kiss

I Don’t Want To Spoil The Party

A dismal and wet Wednesday. The day started out with Bill leaving a few hours later than usual, and I got up out of bed as he kissed me goodbye and headed out the door with his words of encouragement.

He’s a very good man and I am quite lucky to have him. I made some coffee, poured some cereal and jumped into the shower as usual. Not an exciting life but at least it’s a life.

I walked up to Washington Street, stopping by Hoboken Daily News and said hello to Andy and his grumpy brother. Then it was a wait for the bus.

At the next stop I expected to see neighbor Deborah and saw a woman with her hairstyle but this woman was a bit on the heavy side which was a surprise when I saw her board the bus.

I’ve been listening to Bjork a lot lately so I had that all cued up as I walked from the bus to the subway. The usual creeps and cops were around, some of the cops are regulars at the cigar shack and they generally give me a nod as I walk by.

By the time I got to the vicinity of the cigar shack it was starting to rain and even though I was early, I preferred to wait outside rather than deal with Frank Burns who has gone back to being a real schmuck again, all goodwill from last week seems to have fallen by the wayside.

Thomas was in already and he mentioned that it was his turn to close tonight. I told him that it didn’t matter, that I would close. It really doesn’t matter since even if I do leave early I spent my time exasperated on the subway platform waiting for a downtown train which gets there just at almost the exact same time it would be if I was closing the cigar shack.

Frank Burns certainly didn’t care, or didn’t even know since he was sequestered in the humidor rearranging things which is what a faux assistant manager is supposed to do. Zack was out today which gave Frank Burns the nerve to play it as he was in charge.

I suppose Thomas and I humor him as much as we could but we spent a lot more time and energy just trying to avoid him. If he’s in the humidor- we’re on the floor. If he’s on the floor we’re not.

It’s been about a year since Ron flew the coop, just in time to avoid the extra hours that accompany holiday drama. Already in the cigar shack neighborhood, stars and holiday decorations are up already. The giant crystal was hung at 57th and Fifth Avenue yesterday and will probably still be hanging until February.

Now there is an hour left in the work day or thereabouts. The cigar shack closes at 9:00 but since I will be closing I probably won’t be out until 9:15 if all the numbers match up and so far they do.


12 I Don’t Want To Spoil The Party

I Don’t Want To Be A Bride

Yes yesterday was a day off and yes it was good. I slept in of course, and got up an hour later since I changed every clock except for the alarm clock which is probably the most important clock to set. It didn’t matter much since I figured out what had happened or did not happen and went back to sleep for another hour.

Still I was up earlier than I anticipated and proceeded to get my day started. A trip to the supermarket and soon I was home having breakfast and reading the papers. Bill was driving a bus for the first time in two months.

A trip to Nanuet then to Sylvia’s Restaurant in Harlem and finally a ride to see Sister Act on Broadway. Yesterday was the Artists Studio Tour in Hoboken and I had arranged to take off and attend, to visit some good friends.

I walked up to Maxwells where Rand and Lisa were hosting the Kirby Enthusiasm event. Chaz Charas was there so it was good to see all three. Not much of a turn out while I was there I’m afraid. Mike Cecchini arrived to relieve Rand and Lisa who were off to the Biergarten in Hoboken. I made tentative plans to meet up with Mike tomorrow on my day off again.

From Maxwells I went to Neumann Leather where Tim Daly was working and his wife Sheilah Scully was there too. Some catching up with them and a visit to other artists in the building. A phone call to Annemarie then a walk to the first building I lived in at 201 Madison Street where I saw Hiro Takeshita. He was a bit under the weather so I did not stay long.

A short break at home to upload photos I had taken and then I was out again, this time to the Monroe Art Center where Lois was performing and my neighbor Deborah was supposed to be singing. But Monroe Art Center is a big old industrial building and it’s very easy to get lost in there.

I wound up hanging out with Lois and she played the violin and I played some guitar and a little bit of piano. I said my goodbyes after about an hour and walked on home to a nice dinner. Then it was watching TV and surfing the net. Bill expected to be home around 11:00 but was home at 9:00 in time to watch Boardwalk Empire.

Then he went to sleep and I stayed up for a few hours more, watching Pan Am and then the news and then a documentary on A Tribe Called Quest. I haven’t finsihed it yet and I understand Q-Tip did not want to have anything to to do with the finished result.

I don’t see why since he comes off as quite intelligent and reasonable. Phife Dog, not so much but Ali Shaheed Mohammed is crazy cute. I intend to finish watching it tonight when I get home.

And now I am home, poor Bill. My baby is so exhausted. He never rests. And after a few weeks of that he crashes hard. And that is what he is doing right now. A day off for me tomorrow which is nice. I’m looking forward to it. And today wasn’t so bad.