I Take A Lot Of Pride In What I Am

One day left before I break. It’s been a low key day. No recruiters on the phone, no emails sent. I sent a few emails out yesterday to a core staff member that was somewhat optimistic last year, but with no response to my email I can only guess that they have shed their mortal coil, or perhaps got a real job. Is not hearing anything better than having something suggested then withdrawn? No. It is not better. There is that glimmer of hope that came along with the suggestion, something sustainable. And when it is revoked I can’t help but feel like Wile E. Coyote at the edge of a cliff.

I am hopeful though, something will turn up eventually. Bill saw a sign in a window at a jewelry store here in Hoboken. I was not too enthusiastic about it, just as I am not enthusiastic about jewelry in general. Bill was disappointed in that, but I mentioned that retail is what I am trying to avoid. We plan to talk about it further when he gets home. It reminded me of a liquor store help wanted sign that I told Bill about. He stated he didn’t want me working in a liquor store.

Perhaps it was because on all the cop shows he watched, it’s almost always a liquor store that gets held up. Or perhaps he thought I would become an alcoholic if I worked there. Now a marijuana dispensery would be problematic I am sure but there aren’t any in this area anyway. Not that any of that mattered since when I asked the liquor store proprietor, I was told that they wanted someone young. That hurt. A few months later, same store, same sign. But no inquiry from me. In fact I won’t even buy beer from them ever again. Their loss, not mine.

There were no little old ladies to walk home today. It’s just a grey day, overcast and constantly looking like rain. I did go to the nearby supermarket, cruising up and down the aisles looking for septuagenarians with too many groceries but there were none to be found.

Last night Bill and I watched The Stunt Man. We seem to be on a Peter O’Toole kick. I have Lawrence of Arabia somewhere around here so one night we may invest 3 hours to watch the whole thing. But last night was The Stunt Man, which is a movie about movie making. Things unfold and keep unfolding in the movie while Peter O’Toole plays a god like director, Steve Railsback plays the stunt man and Barbara Hershey plays the lead actress. O’Toole certainly looked good in 1980.

Bill liked it but it ultimately required too much concentration which neither of us fully afforded it. I do plan on watching the documentary on YouTube at some point to see the how it was made. Tonight there are no plans as far as I know. A low key mellow evening once more, and I am fine with that.

I did get in contact with a friend from grammar and high school on Facebook. He seems to be a right wing crank now living in sunny Pennsylvania now, but I saw a photograph taken by someone whom I thought was the friend’s brother. I looked at the mutual friends list and also the high school friends list. He was friends with someone I was once friends with.

That friendship ended in 1980 soon after graduation and I was glad to see this person still alive. He went into the navy after high school and married after that. I look back and remember and regret.


Papa Gene’s Blues

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