December « 2011 « johnozed

Archive for December, 2011

I Found A Love

Thursday, December 22nd, 2011

Well it was back to work for me again today. Back to the cigar shack. Yesterday could have been better but what can you do? Being anti-social, I do not call any friends and I am somewhat relieved when they don’t call me as promised. No hard feelings.

Sean, the former co-worker from the cigar shack is trying to become a corrections officer and I told him I would try to get him in touch with Pedro. But Pedro doesn’t return my calls and Sean never called me like he said. Same thing with Mike C, when I saw him the other day doing volunteer work at the library he mentioned giving me a call, to go over to his place and hang out and listen to music.

No call, no worries. It’s nothing new, I don’t want to see anyone, I don’t want to hang out with anyone, and I don’t want to chat online with anyone most especially. I do not like the fact that my chat room window opens up on Facebook when I prefer it closed.

I don’t have the time to buy frames or photo albums for the pictures I had developed by CVS so I will mail them out next week when I do have the time. The left coast wing knows this already, the east coast wing will find out when I show up empty handed on Saturday night.

I thought I would make some nice gifts from some photos from over the years and I could swear last year when I did the same thing, it did not take that long for them to be shipped. I had them shipped to the CVS near the cigar shack instead of Hoboken so maybe that is the problem. In any event, nothing from this relative until next week.

There’s a picture of my sister in law Elaine with her daughters Meghan and Corinne and I am not sure if I gave them the same picture last year. Bill of course is so supportive and tells me they will see how much I care, how I captured the moment and presented it to them. Nice sentiment, but it doesn’t stop me from looking like a fool if they get the exact same photo that they got the year before.

And speaking of presents, totally out of the blue, the ultra kind and thoughtful Jimmy Seltzer bought me a present. He really did not have to and it was not expected but it should come in handy should I get drafted into the Swiss Army.

It’s been a very long day today and tomorrow promises to be just like today, another eleven hour day, Zack asked if I could come in at 11:30 instead of 12:30 and of course I could not say no. So tomorrow will be long and busy and of course Saturday will be even more insane. I will be closing tomorrow night and opening on Saturday morning.

For me, Christmas is just a day off. I’ll give myself some wiggle room and say that is at least how I feel right now. And I have all those wonderful tracks that Pandora picks out to listen to at work since the playlist of over 200 holiday songs seems to have fallen out of favor. What do I know? I only used to be a DJ. Let some computer faraway decide what to play. Sort of like Clear Channel Communications if you ask me.

You know what? I am not so fond of the holidays anymore, though it does give me an opportunity to see most of my family, if only for a few hours. And hey, I do have Sunday off.

Once again, Julio asked me out for one drink before he flies off to Denmark tomorrow and of course I had to turn him down. C’est la vie.

Nessun dorma

Tags:Bill
Posted in Mood Mambo | No Comments »

I Fought The Law The Clash

Wednesday, December 21st, 2011

Well it’s another day off and whereas yesterday had been alright, a visit to the Guitar Bar, today is fraught with hurdles to leap. Nothing insurmountable but still it gets me down. A week or so I saw some nice, affordable items that I ordered for Bill online. An hour or so later I saw that I was double charged and so I contacted the company and they didn’t see it and suggested I call my bank.

I called the bank and asked them to look into it. They did and in doing so, promptly stopped my bank card from functioning. I did not know this until this morning when I tried to charge some groceries at the supermarket. The total was $5.36 and no I did not have the cash available on me, hence using the card. Rejected twice I used my emergency card and headed out of the market.

I tried calling my bank and waited for about 20 minutes on hold before a young man was able to help me. He saw I had claimed fraud where I only asked for an inquiry. I also explained to the young man that I was able to use the card several times since my initial call, only today it was rejected. After about five minutes he was able to activate my card again.

I was glad that that had been taken care of but still I am feeling the pressure. Maybe it’s the holidays- maybe it’s the ‘Sunday night syndrome’, being off today and headed back to work tomorrow. I am usually fine once at work but it’s the buildup that almost always gets me down. And today it’s all buildup.

Some good news though, the bonuses came in, and Sharon Burr was correct. The bonus was direct deposit and the usual payroll check which is always direct deposited, was not direct deposited. I was going to head into the city to pick it up but I just couldn’t bear to visit the cigar shack when I didn’t have to be there.

I sent Zack an email, telling him Bill would be picking up my check. I sent it at 12:43 this afternoon. Bill offered to pick it up for me and since my bank is open until 8:00 tonight I will run over there and deposit it. Over three hours later, no response from Zack. No “that will be alright if Bill picks up the check” and “No, absolutely not”. I’m sure it will be OK since Bill has more than likely picked it up or is en route and I expect to hear from him one way or another.

I just had a long phone call with my brother Frank. It was a good call, both of us in similar frames of mind. I have to be careful about saying how much alike our frames of mind are since if I am not careful it can turn into a pissing contest. “I am more depressed than you.” “No you’re not- I am angst ridden and quite morose” “Well I have 11 years of depression on you, so there!”

But it really wasn’t like that, it was a friendly commiserating. And of course dear old Dad entered the conversation, 12 years after shedding his mortal coil. I didn’t know that my grandfather on my father’s side was an immigrant. I had a feeling but I wasn’t sure. It certainly explains some things about my father’s personality, his upbringing and how he brought my brothers and sister and myself up, or rather brought us down.

Frank and I had to commiserate today since when we actually see each other on Christmas Eve there will be no time for such downbeat matters. Bill should be home in a few hours and I will help him up the four flights of stairs, with the heavy amplifier that was too heavy to bring upstairs after bringing up various other pieces of equipment and keyboards last night.

Hopefully he will tell me when he is on the bus so I can meet him, go to my bank, deposit the check and when we return home, could carry the heavy amplifier to the fifth floor. Well I made some dinner, some ziti with pesto and chicken. I took two bites when the smartphone chirped. It was Bill and he was at the Path terminal.

He had my check and I got myself together and headed out, catching a bus downtown so Bill wouldn’t have to wait too long. Then it was at the bank large bank, only one table where you can write your deposit or withdrawal slips, only room for two, I squeezed in to make it three. Then it was back home and as we walked I felt compelled to hold Bill’s hand as we walked up the boulevard.

In case of trouble I had my keys in my fist in my pocket. It is a political act, our showing of affection and I wanted to be prepared. We walked home as the Jehovah’s Witnesses were heading to their meeting. Some averted glances as we strolled, then it was carrying the very heavy amplifier up four flights to the fifth floor.

At least my food was still warm enough to eat and I did.

Christmas Blues

Tags:Bill
Posted in Happy? | No Comments »

I Fought The Law the Bobby Fuller Four

Tuesday, December 20th, 2011

It’s a day off after four days of eleven hour shifts and it’s a welcome day off. Last night when I came home my legs felt like lead and I wasn’t that communicative walking through the door. Bill was understanding and sympathetic and gave me my space as I wordlessly got out of my suit and tie and into something a little more comfortable like track pants and a sweat shirt.

I sat at the computer much like I am now and added the pics and whatnot to last night’s entry. After a little while Bill went to bed after a generous hug and kiss while I stayed up watching whatever it was that I was watching. I slept really well and once again woke up to Bill kissing me good bye for the day. I am so grateful that Bill is my spouse, forever in my life.

He told me he loved me and how sweet I looked and I mumbled and went back to slumber once he left. I slept a lot later than I expected to and eventually got up and did my morning shuffle. After just one cup of coffee I headed out, walking to the library to return the Ahmet Ertegun biography (spoiler alert: Ahmet died).

It was an enjoyable book, he certainly was a character. And there was one brief mention of Arif Mardin in the book, calling him ‘arranger extraordinaire’. That was it. Tom Dowd was mentioned as was Jerry Wexler. I guess Arif came onto the Atlantic scene later in the story where Jerry Wexler was there almost at the beginning and Tom Dowd shortly thereafter.

I ran into Mike C from up the block at the library where he does some volunteer work. We chatted for a while as I picked up Green Lantern which was really bad. Mike recommended X-Men First Class saying it was much better than Green Lantern. I hope he is right. I also picked up the first season of Community which is really a funny show and now in limbo on broadcast TV.

Tony’s chair was occupied at Mr. L’s so I came home after running to the supermarket and had some breakfast. I went out again, a little while after that and Tony’s chair was now free. I walked in and Tony was happy to see me. Once he again he did a very good job, cutting my hair and trimming my goatee while telling me about how he is going to see a nerve specialist in Paramus to look at his arm which he injured a while ago.

Tony is in his 70’s and not mending as much as he used to. He’s worried that if he gets an operation done on his left arm he won’t be able to use it anymore and then no more haircutting for him. After that I headed back home before taking a stroll around Hoboken, stopping by the Guitar Bar where I saw darling Lily and her father Mr. Wonderful.

I mainly talked to Lily as Jim was conducting business on the phone. She looks great and is enjoying college life. I told her I was enjoying her radio show on the college station and she got a big kick out of that. After that I was going to go to the post office but I neglected to bring my Netflix DVD as well as any holiday cards.

It didn’t matter about the holiday cards since I am still not sure about sending any out this year. I have a feeling some will be sent out, and some will be received late. But they are holiday cards so it really doesn’t matter since they’re not specific as to what holiday I am sending a greeting about.

05 Save It For Later

Tags:Bill, Guitar Bar, Lily, Mr Wonderful
Posted in Iron my Shirt | No Comments »

I Fought The Law Dead Kennedys

Monday, December 19th, 2011

44 hours in 4 days. That is where I am at right now. Not as toasted as I thought I would be but still staring at the abyss which by the way keeps winking back at me. Last night Bradley was gracious enough to close up for me, allowing me to get a train to the Path train. The cigar shack did alright as well sales wise so that made Zack very happy as he sat and smoked like Lewis Carroll’s caterpillar in the man cave.

I snagged a seat on the train and was soon home. Bill was up and about and greeting me with a great big hug and a kiss. Bill was watching Lawn hors d’œuvre when I sat down and at 10:00 we started to watch something on PBS about Carole King and James Taylor, me raging Bill with my own personal; stories about James and Carole.

Bill went to bed after that and I stayed up watching Battle: Los Angeles (which wasn’t half bad) and then the second half of Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban. Then it was time for me to go to bed.

Woke up once again with Bill being the loving spouse telling me how much he loved me and me grumbling about how I feel the same way. I eventually got out of bed somewhat reluctantly. Fixed myself a breakfast and talked to Bill as I walked to the bus stop. Bill’s co-worker Tom is none too happy about my posting on YouTube, Smooth n’ Fusion at their office party. It was an eye opener for Bill and a nightmare for Tom.

This morning while waiting for my 11:30 bus, the 11:15 bus approaches while there is a 4 x 4 in the bus stop. Two passengers stand there watching the bus roll up, and expecting it to stop even though the driver can’t see them. I do them a favor and flag the bus, they get on without any thanks. I know, I expect too much.

Then after walking up the avenue, foregoing the subway to save some money I get to the cigar shack where Bradley is running the show. Bradley got a phone call from the head of Human Resources about a possible bonus and according to Bradley a commission check as well as our usual payroll.

Three checks in total is what Bradley is telling me but he’s not so sure. I send an email to Sharon Burr, head of Human Resources asking her to respond via email about the matter at hand. An hour later she calls. I explain what is what, and it turns out Bradley is wrong. There will be two checks and the bonus will be direct deposit while the regular payroll which is direct deposit, will be a live check.

I am sure that Sharon Burr is wrong but she is the head of Human Resources and I am not. Then I get into a spat with Bradley over a phone call versus an email. I explain that coming from the corporate world, an email is the best protocol, that a phone message can turn into he said she said or in the worse case a cruel game of telephone.

But Bradley insisted that he was right while admitting that he does not know how the corporate world operates. Bradley is slipping back into idiocy but I should have seen that happening. Perhaps I am being overly familiar since it true, familiarity does breed contempt.

06 Mambo Sinuendo

Tags:Bill
Posted in Yesterday's News Tomorrow | 2 Comments »

I Fought In A War

Saturday, December 17th, 2011

Darlene Love is singing White Christmas from the Phil Spector Christmas Album. It’s a bit brisk outside. It is day two, eleven hour shift. It has been quite busy. The plan for Thomas to close the store tonight so that I might get a twenty minute head start and get to the bus so I could be home sooner has fallen by the wayside due to the inept schedule for the week.

Who knew it would be so busy, a fucking week before Christmas Eve? Zack had Thomas come in an hour earlier to help out since it was so fucking busy. So I will be closing tonight and opening tomorrow. It can be done but it will not be easy. I have to be up at 7:00 in the morning to catch the 8:00 bus since there is no 8:30 bus. And since I have to open the cigar shack I should be there by 9:00. At least I will have my egg sandwich before yet another eleven hour shift.

Word is out that Madonna is making a surprise appearance playing with the dreaded Wynton Marsalis Salad Bar Band tonight. Not my cuppa tea. It’s been very busy tonight and sales expectations were met and exceeded making Zack a very happy and giggly man. Forty minutes to go then the hustle.

Thomas is just about to head out and hopefully it won’t get too busy. Left alone to man the shack it won’t be easy, so people will just have to wait. And I just had two gentlemen in the store and they had me running back and forth like a chicken sans head. Twenty three minutes and Thomas is long gone.

Tomorrow will have a full staff minus Thomas and for myself I just have to make it through Monday before I get two days off in a row which is quite rare. This morning I was fortunate to see Bill for a few minutes before he passed out after driving to Atlantic City. He is doing that again tonight and I won’t be seeing my beloved until tomorrow night.

I just checked the numbers and they match up so that should be one less thing I have to worry about tonight. I will still worry about Bill though.

It’s funny, at least once a day someone will ask if we have Cuban cigars at the cigar shack and they are incredulous when I tell them they are illegal. Most people don’t know their history. Listening to Section 25 right now, no more holiday music. I’ve had my fill. Actually had my fill before Thanksgiving.

The rest is just a violation of the Geneva convention and that is another thing people don’t know about, what is the Geneva convention. Was John Kennedy Toole right? Is this really the way it is? Sixteen minutes to go and they won’t go fast enough, that’s for sure.

Killing time on the killing floor, that is what I am about.

Endless texting from Julio, trying to entice me into having a pint. I just got home and since I have to get up early, it ain’t happening but he will not take no for an answer. I still have to eat dinner and it’s 11:20. I suggested Tuesday or Wednesday, saying Tuesday would be better for me. After an hour of telling him that he finally tells me Tuesday is his job’s holiday party. His job, which wouldn’t hire me since I am not a woman. They’ve had such bad luck with women in the position, why not continue that direction?

He is also worried that I will be like his father, hooked on Xanax. Me, taking 0.05 once a week maybe, yeah I’m a regular William S. Burroughs. I love Julio and I appreciate his trying to get me out tonight as well as out of my own way, but not tonight. And now I feel guilty but I guess I am being responsible.

14 Ich Bin Von Kopf Bis Fuss Auf Lie

Tags:Bill, Julio
Posted in Cool Cold Reality | 1 Comment »

I Forgive You

Friday, December 16th, 2011

Well it’s certainly been a long day. Zack and Bradley are hootin’ and hollerin’ in the office, I am manning the front of the store, Who knows what is so funny? Not my concern. I just want to go home. Day one of four eleven hour days. Tomorrow it will be Zack and Thomas.

Last night was definitely a lot of fun. I made it into Manhattan to Bill’s office holiday party. Nice people, good food and a few Amstels for me thank you very much. The combo, Smooth N’ Fusion did an excellent job and I shot video for every song they did. I haven’t had much of a chance to upload them to YouTube but I will soon enough, when I have the time.

Just now an elderly Eastern European woman came in after having a problem with a local pricey supermarket. Covering her mouth as she spoke I could barely figure out what was being said through her thick accent.

I recommended she talk to an auxiliary police officer in the area and she said they weren’t around, so I poked my head in the office where Zack and Bradley are laughing at spread sheets and told them I was escorting her to the auxiliary cop who was as usual quite nearby..

They barely noticed as I walked out, so engrossed in Excel. SO back to the party, food and drinks and excellent songs performed by Bill and company, starting with I Wish by Stevie Wonder with a charming gaffe on Bill’s part.

Bill had also rented a Zip Car to take some equipment back to where he stage managed last month and then we drove Kirk the flautist and a woman from the cultural center up to the Bronx. I hadn’t been to the Bronx in years and driving up the Grand Concourse was a trip in itself. Not as run down or burnt out as I heard or previously seen, some truly grand buildings with holiday lights.

I know it looks different during the day but last night the Grand Concourse was looking magical. After dropping off our passengers it was a trip to figure out how to get back and my GPS on the smartphone was near dead but still we figured if we get wet, we would be in the Harlem River and more than likely had gone too far.

But that didn’t happen as we drove on the Martha part of the George Washington Bridge. Bill had a great laugh when I suggested we take the Martha, having never heard that before whereas I thought that is what everyone called the lower level of the bridge. Home later than expected but with not a care in the world, just driving around with my beloved spouse after seeing him play his keyboards and swinging and singing and getting merry like Christmas made for a wonderful evening.

Now I just want to get home, 25 minutes left. Zack not in any rush to get home to his expectant wife and daughter and Bradley just being Bradley with no particular place to go. I made haste and got out of there as Bradley farted around trying to figure out what a boy from North Carolina could do in midtown Manhattan. I was all set to go when he asked me to wait up and wait up is what I did just so he could skip away, perhaps into the headlines of the New York Post.

As I rode the bus, Julio texted me, Stine and Alexander are in Denmark and he was looking to go out for a pint. If I had a normal Monday through Friday job it would be no problem, but since tomorrow will be day two out of four eleven hour shift days, it’s not going to happen.

Welcome to the future.

22 – Ode to Billie Joe