I Cheat the Hangman

Forgive the language, but today has been a mother fucker. Such a dumb ass day. It started at 6:00 this morning, with Bill kissing me goodbye and making sure I was getting out of bed. I had to get up early since Calvin had scheduled a re-certification class for tobacconists in NYC.

Now last year in June 2010 I had to go to Inwood on Long Island and sit in a room with gas station attendants and learn how to check identification cards. Today was scheduled for the same thing. I got there early enough, on time actually and saw Calvin as well as Ralph the tobacconist certification guy.

Ralph mentioned that it had been three years since the test was taken. I spoke up and said that I had done it last year and Ralph said then there was no need for me to be there. I looked at Calvin, and the supreme dumbass said ‘Well you’re here already anyhow, ha ha ha…’ Oh right then and there I wanted to throttle him.

I had to get up early for something that I didn’t have to. Stupid ass apparently forgot about my test last June. In fact he forgot about it last June, calling me up while I was online at Penn Station wondering where I was, how come I wasn’t at work. I reminded him then that I was headed out to take the test that he and Marcus had set up.

Luckily Thomas was there to diffuse my tension and after 90 minutes of a power point presentation as well as a test where most of the answers were letter ‘D’, both Thomas and I were on the street off to get our shoes shined. Thomas had the day off and they insisted he come in to take this stupid test.

Bradley was supposed to be there but he spaced and that was just alright with dumbass Calvin. Oh I’ve been carrying around this bitterness all day, on my sister’s birthday as well as Jerode’s birthday, a nice guy and nearby shop assistant. To offset the bitterness I am playing the Clash’s first album.

Yesterday was Joe Strummer’s birthday and I played Sandinista and Joe Strummer and the Mescalero’s Global A Go Go. Calvin left about an hour ago and Bradley left 30 minutes ago. Yesterday was cool with Thomas and Jerry Vale, today it was Dumb and Dumber. I didn’t care about the sales, I didn’t care about much of anything really.

My day was shot at 8:00 this morning and it was all downhill from there. Things being what they are, surprisingly I did alright on the sales front, maybe it was because I did not give a damn. Of course it was the luck of the draw, or in my case, whomever answred the phone. In this case I answered the phone. Someone from Beverly Hills wanted to buy a humidor and two boxes of cigars to send to New Orleans.

It was done over the phone and I have to admit, initially I did not think the sale would go through. But it did after a few games of phone tag.

Now I am home, and quite happy to be here. I don’t think I will have trouble sleeping tonight, having been up since 6:00AM. Sleep should be no problem, but having written that… Rest in Peace Jerry Leiber and Nick Ashford. Anyway, happy birthday to my sister Annemarie, the richest gal in Northern California!

Hard to believe it was only seven years ago Bill and I flew out to San Francisco to wish her a happy birthday on her fiftieth! Oops, maybe I shouldn’t have written that!




3 thoughts on “I Cheat the Hangman

  1. johnozed Post author

    Actually it’s not constant under performance, it’s every now and then. Quite a few times I’ve come in with top sales. Just ask Calvin. Or I can show you the records that I keep and take home every evening. And the training that you think I should embrace, I can only wonder, how much training does it take to check identification cards you silly shack master.

    And by the way, I much preferred shackmaster_75, at least they read the posting.

    written before schmuckmaster_76 was banished to the land of spam, aka Long Island.

Leave a Reply