Archive for June, 2010

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I’m a King Bee

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

Here we are at the end of another day. Not such a bad day either. First off I slept really well, probably from not sleeping so well the night before and being exhausted towards the end of my shift yesterday at the cigar shop.

I decided to avoid the theater crowd on Eighth Avenue and opted to walk down Ninth Avenue which turned out to be a bit of a mistake or a misstep. Hell’s Kitchen is almost as Gay as Chelsea and I did not take into account the sidewalk cafes set atop narrow sidewalks.

Won’t be making that mistake again.

I usually walk with a purposeful gait and the strolling couples, headed for dinner slowed me down considerably. Still I made the bus I needed to make with no look of NJ suburbanite panic on my face.

I woke up the morning around 7:45 and set about doing my thing. I didn’t have to go in until 11:30 so that was nice. I needed bread so I went grocery shopping around 8:30. Nice that the store was relatively empty and I was home by 8:45.

Had some more coffee and got my suit ready to wear. Yes, I’ve been wearing a suit to work but no tie and I generally drape the suit jacket over my forearm, looking a bit dashing, feeling like Jean Paul Belmondo and showing off my braces.

I swear I’ve been loosing weight since I’ve started work and the pants aren’t as tight around the waist as they used to be. And the neck size of my shirts aren’t as snug either, so I don’t think I look like my late cousin Jackie. No between meal snacks, lot’s of water and standing around for 9 hours a day seems to do the trick. Pedro even mentioned the weight loss the other day.

The day flew by as opposed to yesterday which was crawl crawl crawl. Had a cigar for lunch today and I was going to go outside and smoke it but it was even more humid outside than it was in the humidor. And it rained for about 3 minutes.

I decided to come inside and sit in the backroom with the cigar smoking men. It was a full house, all of them watching the World Cup and kvetching. Some closet cases too from what I gathered. I’m out at work once again, everyone seems cool about it.

But there’s a certain customer who my co-workers think is gay and deep in the closet despite being an opera singer. He doesn’t ping on my gaydar but I probably ping on his and he might resent my being out or perhaps fears my being out will out him.

Sometimes during the day a customer will leave and Sean or Raymond or Don Birch will ask if I think that person is gay. One guy left the store and they asked and I said ‘Flame on!’ and called him Johnny Storm.

It was pretty much a good day. Calvin headed out at 7:30 and mentioned that he saw I was scheduled to come in at 9:30 tomorrow morning. He asked if I would rather come in 11:30. I said yes. Closing the store is one thing and coming in to open the next day can be so difficult.

We received our schedules for July and the majority of the days are the late shift. I’m fine with that. Raymond asked if I would miss hanging out with my friends, and I said no, since I really didn’t hang out with my friends much in the past year or so. An occasional evening here and there, but overall I usually just hang out at home.

So I guess it’s getting better all the time.

16.8 minutes from the cigar shop to the bus terminal tonight.

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I’m a Greedy Man

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

Ugh. So tired. How many times have I written that as an intro to an entry? Can I get a Bala Cynwyd auditor here? And maybe some choice Cafe Press items to peruse and perhaps purchase? I had a day off yesterday and this retail schedule is wrecking havoc with my body clock.

Today was arduous. Just very slow. I opened the store today, not by myself since they still haven’t trusted me with a key. It was me and Don Birch.

I stood outside for a few minutes knocking on the window trying to get his attention in the humidor. He finally looked up when I decided to call the store.

It was a slow start but in the afternoon the back room was thick with cigar smoke as about 12 guys sat around watching the World Cup. Raymond and Sean made it in for the 11:30 shift.

We make for a good crew. We can obviously handle things on our own. Calvin had off and we guessed that Marcus took the day off to make ready his wedding plans on July 11. No one from the store is invited and everyone is happy not to be invited.

A comment was passed on my music, specifically a track by Tricky, ‘Pumpkin’. It was said it sounded like music from an opium den. I guess that was supposed to be a bad thing.

Before my official lunch, I ate my turkey sandwich and for my official lunch went out and sat in one of my usual benches by the park, had a cigar and read the May 3 edition of the New Yorker.

It’s a very long article about a custody battle, murder and the trial that followed in Queens involving Russian immigrants from an obscure Jewish sect. It’s very involving and engrossing and so far I’ve been reading it for the past 4 days. Or maybe 3 days, my body clock being out of whack.

Back in time to relax amidst the cigar smoke in the back room. After that, the afternoon crawled yet again. In fact the last hour was so slow. Too much watching the clock on the wall.

I did not sleep well at all last night. I did sleep but had an angry dream with me being kidnapped to Orlando, Florida by my parents. My father oddly quiet, my mother passive. My brothers and their wives were there as was my sister and her husband.

None of their kids were there. I yelled at my mother that I wasn’t supposed to be there since I just started a new job and couldn’t afford to be there.

To my dismay the only way to get out of Orlando was to try to get the one called Ann B. Davis to pick me up at the airport and that was like pulling teeth. The one called Ann B. Davis more than likely came up since Connie and I talked about her in the phone conversation we had earlier in the afternoon.

Just saw Chaz for a few minutes. He had a collection of clippings as well as Pride Magazine which has the photo of Bill and myself. It turns out Bill got a copy and scanned it to me this afternoon and now it’s my profile picture as well as Bill’s on Facebook.

In case you’re not in Facebook, here it is. 2 more days of work, then I am off for the weekend.

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I’m a Flirt

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

I love being Chris Frantz Facebook friend. I sent him a message earlier today, saying that I love the Beatles, but Remain in Light is my favorite album of all time.

He replied that he too loves the Beatles and went so far as to say that if there were no Beatles, there would be no Remain in Light. What a nice guy.

I also found out via a mutual friend of Chaz and me, Dave McKenzie, that Chaz encountered the geriatric accountant/sex worker on Friday. Same spiel, same general location.

I am enjoying my day off from work today. Did laundry, ran some errands, bought some groceries. Also played guitar for the first time in 4 weeks and to my surprise I sounded good.

I am thinking of playing by the river today. That didn’t work out since it started to rain a bit. Glad to know I can still play All My Loving and Shame Shame Shame though.

Had a nice phone conversation with Connie, who sounded happy & healthy. Her sister Jennifer is going through some rough times though, so good thoughts and vibes should be sent to her in Oxnard Shores.

Connie is excited about the party in a few weeks. Going to be here before I know it. Pasta, salad and pizza is the menu. Perhaps someone can make some cakes. And by someone I mean a few people. Chocolate is preferred, of course. My sister in law Elaine used to make a nice pistachio cake.

I did visit the bibliothèque today. I do miss going there. They liked my new haircut. I picked up Donnie Darko from the bibliothèque today as well as a CD set of Ella Fitzgerald. Also ran into the Patrick Murphy there. I guess he’s living in Hoboken.

I had plans to meet up with Chaz today but he was ankled to his apartment waiting for PSE&G to arrive. As far as I know he’s still waiting there in the dark. And he is. I just got a text from him, saying they’ll be there by 11:00, which is just crazy in my book.

Looking out the window I can see dark clouds on the horizon. It’s supposed to rain tonight. I guess the drops that fell earlier when I was headed to the Pier A area were just a preview.

With my new ever changing schedule at work I easily lose track of whatever day it is. Today is Tuesday. Took me all day to figure that out.

I guess I’ll watch Donnie Darko tonight while uploading Ella Fitzgerald. Nothing else to do. I could watch my clothes dry on the racks and hanging in the bathroom.

I already have my suit ready for tomorrow. It’s supposed to be another scorcher. Not looking forward to the heat. The 9:30 to 7:30 shift tomorrow, with Raymond, Sean and Don Birch, Marcus in for the first half of the day. It should be an interesting day again.

The New York State legislature raised the cigar tax from 46% to 75%, which is better than raising it to 90%. We’ll see what happens next. I have no clue obviously but still I am a bit nervous being the last hire for the shop.

And now the rain falls steadily on Hoboken streets and rooftops.

Peter Gabriel – The Power Of The Heart

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I’m a Boy

Monday, June 21st, 2010

I am now back home. Tonight after work, I was listening to Born Under Punches, Cross-eyed and Painless & The Great Curve by Talking Heads, from Remain in Light tonight, and it got me to the bus terminal in 17 minutes. I should walk on the east side of the street, where there seems to be less people.

Songs with a good beat really gets my momentum going. And I side step the pedestrians as I charge my way down the avenue to the bus terminal.

Today was the late shift. Before I headed in, I got my hair cut at Mr. L’s, where my barber Tony was ready for me. I was his first customer at 8:00. He’d been there since 5:45, mopping the floor, opening the barber shop at 7:00.

I got it cut very short, with a light fade. My hair grows thick and it’s been so hot lately I couldn’t take it. It made for difficult sleeping. Freshly shorn of my locks, I came home and had some more coffee before donning my suit and heading out.

I also applied sunblock on my face since it was quite bright outside. Stood in the shade waiting for the bus next to some woman headed off to yoga. Read the New Yorker on the way and soon I was in the bus terminal.

Pedro called as I was descending the stairs and I told him I would call him back. Once again I was early and sat in the shade of a nearby skyscraper when I climbed the escalator from the subway. Called Pedro back who told me of his really fun time at Summerstage and the skate circle.

I wished I could have been there, but this is my lot in life lately. It was a brief talk as we were both heading into work. Pedro remarked yesterday when we were hanging out that it looked like I lost weight. I think he’s right, I do think I lost some weight.

It was Calvin and Don Birch in the store. After listening to what Raymond had to say last night, I was wary but didn’t show my cards. Played it close to the vest. Jazz was playing of course when I walked in, but it was Thelonious Monk playing Duke Ellington so that wasn’t so bad.

When it ended Calvin asked that I put something on. So I put on some Cole Porter stuff on my iPod.

The day progressed in it’s regular manner. Today being the first day of Summer, meant that it was the longest day. It didn’t necessarily feel that way since we were somewhat busy. Of course there was a glitch in the way the day was going.

Last week I was entered into the computer system and able to make sales. But no one told me about how to make sales my own, therefore getting the large share of a commission on items that I sell. The other day I made some big sales but since I opened the register, my name was the default for sales.

Today I didn’t open the register and when I sold a pen for $340.00 I didn’t get the sale. Instead it went to Calvin. I was upset with that but kept my displeasure under wraps. Calvin went out for a little while and I complained to Don Birch.

When Calvin came back I went out for a short walk. I tried to call Bill but got his voice mail at work. Then I remembered that he was taking half a day at work and called his cellphone. I dialed and whomever answered said the name of a restaurant. I called again and was hung up on, adding to my frustration.

I decided to give it one last shot and finally Bill answered, telling me he was driving his friend Tom home. That made me think that he had Tom answer the phone and thinking he was being funny, answered the phone the way he did, saying it was a restaurant.

It was a brief call with Bill and I once again internalized my frustration.

I came back to the cigar shop and Calvin mentioned he was going to make things right and deleted the transaction and reentered it, making me the seller of the $340.00 pen. I thanked Calvin for doing the right thing.

Calvin soon went home and it was me and Don Birch. A few customers came in, including one guy who was the personal assistant to one of the stars in Grown Ups, a comedy that is being released this Friday. Nice guy, very friendly and bought about $350.00 worth of cigars from me.

I made sure the sale was in my name this time.

Not sad

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I’m a Boy I’m a Girl

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

Well it was my first Sunday working at the cigar shop. I once again made it in on time. Sundays are a shorter workday, the back room is closed at 5:00 and we close the door at 7:00. Today was certainly interesting.

It was Raymond and Sean and I. Sean was 45 minutes late. He’s 19 years old and a part timer, so for him it’s no big deal. We thought it would be busy today but it wasn’t. Yesterday was busier, people shopping for their Father’s Day gifts.

Fortunately no wives came in complaining about their husbands chopping off fingers. There were some last minute shoppers, feeling the pressure. I just told them what to buy and they bought.

I did miss out on a commission since I couldn’t find a $400.00 box of cigars. Dave found the box and so he got the commission. It bothered me a little bit, but all I can do was get over it.

I got a text from Pedro. He was thinking about stopping by. I didn’t dissuade him from doing so. About an hour later, he comes walking in. Big hugs. He liked the shop, met Raymond and Sean and bought a cigar.

I thought it would be cool to hang out in the back room but the Yankee game was on as well as a few guys watching it. We decided to head out towards the park to smoke cigars. It was stifling outside. Worse than I imagined. Just sitting on my usual bench was overwhelmingly hot.

We sat and talked about our lives. A conversation that we certainly could not have sitting in the back room. He has stress at home and his mother is not doing well, been fading since his father passed away in December.

I told him my stories about the shop the drama that keeps getting revealed to me with each passing day. Lunch was almost over and we walked towards the shop, Pedro headed towards Summerstage and me back to work.

The afternoon crawled quite a bit, not much in sales. Tomorrow the NY State legislature will vote on whether or not to increase the sales tax on cigars from 46% to 90%. I may be screwed after all.

The work day finally ended after I had a talk with Raymond and Sean about the use of Fag and Homo and saying something is ‘Gay’ like it’s a bad thing. This is what I have to work with. They were cool about it though and I think I got through to them.

I also heard from Raymond that Calvin uses Homo a lot and not when talking about Sapiens.

He also tried to get Don Birch and Raymond to complain about the play lists I made for the store so they wouldn’t be played and we would have to listen to his favorite, dreadful Jazz music which is just horribly boring.

I like Jazz, but only when it’s performed live.

According to Raymond, Calvin is two faced. So much for bringing life into the store. Mournful, doleful tones of muted trumpets is so blasé.

I left the store, the sun was still up and I decided to walk to the Path train and enjoy a cigar. As I crossed 57th Street at Broadway, I noticed an older woman walking a few steps behind me. I thought she might need help so I unplugged the Rolling Stones from my iPod and offered my ear.

She mentioned how busy the street was with the cars and how I looked like someone she used to know. She told me her story about how she studied accounting and offered to do my taxes in her apartment on west 57th Street. Her name was Jill.

I said thanks and she gave me her card, mentioning that she also does oral and penetration. I did not do a double take just kept walking down Broadway. Is she a former working girl? Are times that tough that geriatrics are turning tricks on Broadway?

Quite disconcerting. I texted it to Facebook as well as Pedro who asked if I asked if she does anal.

After that it was uneventful and I rode the Path train reading Uncut magazine’s account of David Bowie recording and touring for Station to Station which is probably my favorite album by the Dame.

Walking down Washington Street I passed the Patrick Murphy who asked if I was the same John O’Toole who wrote to the Daily News. I replied that yes it was me and he proffered his hand to shake.

I have to say, Patrick looks good and relatively healthy. I harbor no bad feeling towards him since he never did anything bad to me, but did to other people I know, and when I was down on my luck 20 years ago, he would give me $5.00 to put the chairs up at Maxwells when the evening was ending.

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(I’m a) Road Runner

Saturday, June 19th, 2010

The day we kidnapped Barry Manilow was quite an eventful day. Wait. That’s not it. That’s another story, yet to happen.

Here I am writing again even though I was thinking of not writing. But that’s what thinking gets you. 500 words or more, a tour or more likely, skimming the surface of my consciousness. Am I shallow enough for you?

Let’s see, this player is on random.

Had what might have been an interesting dream last night. I was in Empire Coffee and Jeff the guy who I was friendly with behind the counter forgot my name. I might have called him Eric. There was also another guy helping me with my order when Jeff/Eric faded into the wallpaper.

In real life, Jeff lives around the block from me, his kitchen windows are a few floors down, opposite mine. I told him, my apartment had Christmas lights in the window year round. His reaction was to wonder what type of person has Christmas lights year round.

Me. I am that type of person. They change colors and give off a nice glow and also makes it difficult to see past the lights, giving me some privacy when I parade my not so private parts. A shame, a 20 something young man questioning something like year round Christmas lights.

I guess he’s never had an Ann Boyles in his life.

Work today, the late shift. A hot day before Father’s Day which meant some extra sales, for those errant kids who needed to buy something quick for dear old Dad. Also some wives who don’t know anything in particular, asking for a box of cigars when they mean a humidor.

And a cigar cutter which they worried about their husbands losing a finger in it. I told one particular wife that her husband losing a digit would be unlikely. All he would have to do is not put his finger in the cutter.

Dumb. As. Wood. And I certainly don’t mean to disparage wood.

I have cut down on smoking cigarettes, but I was outside having a smoke and some tourist bloke walked up to me with a dollar in his hand asking to buy a smoke from me.

I showed him my roll ups and he said that was fine and gave him two for the price of one. I usually give them away when someone asks but this bloke had a buck in his hand and with this economic climate, I couldn’t afford not to take the buck.

For lunch I had an excellent Padron 1926 Anniversario #9 cigar. Quite nice, and one of the best cigars I’ve ever had. I smoked near the park and on the bench next to me was a guy playing a pocket trumpet which was cool to listen to. I gave him the buck that I made from selling cigarettes.

I was going to smoke in the back room, but there were two old geezers who made me uncomfortable, plus Marcus was there and I really wouldn’t be able to relax with him hanging around. Lunch with the boss? No thanks.

And with Marcus around it made what should have been a relaxing day, a bit tense. Not that anything was really happening that could be considered bad behavior, just that he’s the boss and usually not in on the weekend.

Besides Marcus, it was Raymond, Don Birch and Sean. I am the oldest store employee here. The usual sniping between the three of them went on, but Raymond seemed a bit down. He eats a lot of crap and today he had the blues.

When Sean and Don Birch left, it was just Raymond and me and I’ve been schooling him on the Beatles. We played Please Please Me, With the Beatles, A Hard Days Night and most of Beatles for Sale over the past couple of days.

I get a weird vibe from Raymond, like he’s wrestling with something deep, but I could be wrong. He just might be overworked. I do enjoy working with him the most though.

Tonight after work I made it from the shop to the bus terminal in 16 minutes which was a better time than last night.

Padron Anniversario 1926 #9 CPW


And New York State is voting on increasing the tax on cigars from 46% to 90%. If it passes, I am screwed

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