Well here we are, Christmas Eve 2009. An early posting for me. Won’t have time later since Bill and I are expected in Hillsdale, the home of the Relatives of the Powers. Brian, Karen, Hillary & Cassie. Little Brian is away at the moment. Frank, Elaine & Corrine are expected as are Meghan and Rob.
This has been going on I guess, since my mother passed away in 1991. The house in Lodi was more like a tomb at that point and I was no longer welcome in the house where I grew up. I guess we went up to Montvale for that first haunted Christmas without Mom.
My father and I weren’t speaking to each other and I started the first of several years of putting out my hand and wishing him a Merry Christmas only to have him look the other way. One year I stopped and at both Brian and Frank’s insistence I put my hand out once again and once again I was rebuffed.
I then had to chastise both of my brothers, saying in effect, ‘how many times do I have to show that I am the better man?’ . My father came around the year before he passed in 1999. Just a handshake and a hug. No apologies were expected and none were given.
I used to go up with William when I lived in Weehawken. He was welcomed in by my family, but looking back I have to wonder if they thought William and I were an item. I know a few people mentioned they thought we were, but no we weren’t. We certainly weren’t each others type, that’s for sure.
When I started going out with Bill in 2000, Bill replaced William as my companion of choice. And he’s been welcomed with open arms, with a provision that signs of affection between Bill and myself were to be kept to a bare minimum, or better yet, invisible.
That was no problem since relatives of the Powers aren’t known for open displays of affection anyhow.
This year is a bit tighter, tightest since the 1980’s. I tried my hand at homemade presents which over 20 years later I am embarrassed by but find that the original recipients trot them out each year, not to embarrass me, but for sentimental reasons.
Earlier this year when I heard about the Bob Dylan Christmas album I thought it would be nice to get a copy for my siblings. I shopped for the best present and with the fact that all of Dylan’s royalties were going in perpetuity to Feeding America it seemed like the best gift for a tight budget.
I didn’t expect the difficulty I would go through in getting people to merely accept it and perhaps just saying thanks, rather than a lecture and the browbeating that came along with it. Annemarie & Frank have both been told what the gift was so the only one who doesn’t is Brian. Unless he reads this before I get there.
In any event what’s done is done and I’m over it. It is the Christmas spirit to forget and forgive and move on so having written that, I am gone already.
Already did whatever I had to do today, wrapped Bill’s gifts, a walk to the post office. Stopped by the Guitar Bar where I saw Jim Mastro of course, but also Lily & Ruby. Meghan was home, baking cookies and dinner. Or maybe cookies for dinner. I
t was a nice afternoon. Bill should be home soon, he worked today and then I guess we will be off to Hillsdale.
Last night I watched the Paul McCartney performance on the marquee of the Ed Sullivan Theater from July, when Macca was the guest on the Letterman show. So exciting. I really enjoyed the Fireman album so hearing it live in that situation was pretty cool. Wished I was there, but I wasn’t.
This has been my 1500th posting. Yay Me!