Burning of the Midnight Lamp

Well this starts at rock bottom. Been a good day so far, but now Bill has flown off a handle the size of a aircraft carrier in the Pacific Ocean. A ton of resentment has collapsed upon me. Oh, and we’re about to go out and actually do Karaoke which is beneath Bill.

But he says he’s going to make me happy which right now means putting me through hell in order to get to that happiness.

I myself am exhausted from the Gate Sale which was successful, just four hours but it was tiring. Then I met up with Rand and went over to Roda’s daughter’s first birthday. Her name is Autumn.

Bill said some heinous things once again. I’m no innocent, surely I added to the fire, but reined it in. He was anger on a short leash. All about who cleans up more. I’m pretty sure I do and he’s pretty sure that I’m wrong.

We were supposed to meet up at Rand & Lisa’s since he arranged the whole thing. Some drinks and snacks beforehand. We’re taking a pass on that obviously.

I suppose I wear my emotions on my sleeve whereas Bill’s simmer at a low boil just below the surface and tonight’s match was the concept of going out and doing something fun and silly which Bill feels he is not when he leaves the apartment.

I’ve generally been in a good mood all day, talking to people and selling my past. Bill was upstairs cleaning the apartment in his way while the Lawn Hors d’oeuvre Criminal Mischief marathon played on the TV.

Well we didn’t make it to Rand and Lisa’s beforehand. Things were too ugly, too heated to inflict upon my friends and some of Rand’s family. We caught a bus into the city which at the next stop turned out to be the bus that Rand, Lois spouses and family also got on.

Unfortunately Bill and I were starting to open up on our feelings. Once the others joined us, I saw it a chance to avoid Bill altogether and focus on the other people. And it worked somewhat, once everyone settled in their seats I said that I was glad everyone could make it to the meeting.

Bus ride, subway ride and we were around the block from where I used to work a few months ago. Songs were sung and at one point The Wind Cries Mary came on and no one was singing so I took the mike and did what I thought was a decent cover of Jimi Hendrix.

It helped that I knew the song inside out and knew the inflections of Jimi’s delivery. I surprised myself actually.

A few other songs were sung, You Shook Me All Night Long, Save the Best for Last and Oklahoma are what springs to mind.

I had a good time, but I’m sure it would have been a better time if Bill didn’t have a loud argument beforehand. Spent too much avoiding Bill which did not make for a fun time. For one thing, I didn’t know when it was announced after leaving McSwells on September 12 and walking back with Rand & Lisa and Lois & Fred, that Karaoke might be a fun thing to do and that Bill had horrible times once or twice doing it.

You don’t speak up, how is anyone going to know? To find it out an hour or so beforehand seemed underhanded to me, even after giving him many opportunities to back out.

I also gave him excuse to go though. He mentioned that it might be too expensive for him, though saying that to an unemployed guy while he works a good job was ridiculous.

Bill and I did have a good talk, no raised voices, just the two of us talking in inside voices and each of us explaining why and how they were feeling did help.

Overall it was a good day with a hellish intermission but it definitely could have been a lot better.

Autumn
Roda’s daughter, Autumn

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