More Than A Feeling

Man today was crazy. A lot of running around, and a dash of disappointment at the end of the day. Sometimes Vivek can be so frustrating, asking me to do something which I do and when I get everything set up, just waiting for his final go ahead, I get , ‘Oh we can do that tomorrow’. That wasn’t the disappointing part, that was Greg Stevens doing. His out of the office financial organization, which FDR used to be a member of, is having their holiday party next week and I was somewhat involved with the planning.

He mentioned that he might need me for the function and I would be paid for whatever it is I would have to do. I was willing to do it, only to find they won’t be needing me. That sucked. I was even willing to get a new suit for the event, picked one out the other day, but didn’t make the mistake of trying it on, just looked at it. No conservative financial poon for me I guess. That was a joke. I do have a feeling that they will need me, but it would be too late since I won’t be there. I anticipate a phone call during that night, which I don’t plan on answering, yet I more than likely would.

Tom Chin had me running around midtown trying to arrange a money transfer with the wrong information, making me look like an idiot. And looking like an idiot is something that I don’t need anyone else’s help with. I can do that all on my own. I don’t know, some self doubt enters my mind and I think I am just fucking up. I guess I’m not, I do just about everything that is asked of me, and even try to find something for the receptionist to do since I am her supervisor. To her I’m a great boss, to management, well they probably think I should do better.

Last night was a bit tense, Bill came home with what seemed like the weight of the world on his shoulders. His cousin, Elsie was visiting Bill’s mom in the hospital and Elsie phoned Bill saying that his mother’s wedding ring was missing, no longer on her finger. The fear that someone might have taken it was racing through his mind. I tried to reassure him, perhaps it’s at the apartment, or just in her pocket or somewhere, not necessarily stolen. I did my best to soothe Bill’s nerves and hopefully I did if only a little bit.

After that we watched 2 episodes of Law and Order SVU. That was a weird experience, since when one ended we went into the next episode which was very good and very intense but in my mind, the show was like a two hour episode and left me wondering about loose ends in the first show. It’s a lot like reading something funny in the New Yorker, then turning the page and reading something really heavy, yet still expecting to laugh as I did reading the first story. Yes, life sure gets funny when you turn the page. Or maybe not so funny after all.

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